I have always been a people watcher, but it seems even more so lately. Living in a Master/slave relationship, I find the interactions between couples and their demeanor and body language towards each other is all quite fascinating.
There were times that it was so blatant, it even made me a bit uncomfortable, particularly when their husband looked up and kind of shrugged like...oh well.
I realize they don't live in the dynamic that my Husband and I have so it's not fair of me to judge their actions but I did take a good hard look at myself and was pretty ashamed at what I saw there. Unfortunately, I used to speak to Him in the same manner.
How horrible it sounded now that I was listening to it as a bystander!
Behavior in public was one of the things Master addressed with me early on in our dynamic.
Never speak disrespectfully to Him or about Him.
Make myself useful to the host/hostess.
Be gracious.
As I looked around, it felt good to know that my actions and attitude were pleasing to Him and served as a positive reflection on us both, even if no one else noticed.
Spot on. As a couple we have always kept our manners to each other in check outside our home. But this is a reflection of how we behave at home. It seems there are so many women that just demand respect from their spouses without thinking they should earn it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Betty. I wish I could say that I have always kept my manners in check. I guess better late than never:)
DeleteYes...it is definitely a reflection of how we behave at home.
I couldn't agree more. Its frustrating to listen to that. What's sad is I used to be like that. I would talk bash him behind his back. No more though.
ReplyDeleteIts great that your noticing this now. It shows how far you've come. Master must be proud. :-)
xo
I also wanted to say I really like the energizing cycle pic. It really does work that way.
DeleteI am so happy that you have experienced the same realization as I have. It is sad to see it happen...you begin to see how the breakdown in relationships occurs.
DeleteGlad you liked the pic!
This was a great post! Unfortunately I am ashamed to admit that I used to be one of those women too. Now that we are on this journey I notice so much more how women talk to their husbands and how the husbands allow it! It amazes me. I am also extremely embarrassed that I did the same thing.
ReplyDeleteI loved the "cycle" you posted....that couldn't be more true! Thanks for sharing this great post!
Thanks! Glad you liked it.
DeleteI guess the important thing is that we have recognized it as an issue and made steps to correct it. And you are right...the husbands allow it which only serves to perpetuate the lack of respect. It becomes a vicious cycle.
Thank you for this post, I enjoyed reading your thoughts but also the comments posted by these lovely ladies.
ReplyDeleteWhat can I add? You are 100% right. I noticed and keep noticing this kind of disrespect. For ego-creatures which men sure are, this is just horrible – it kills self-esteem, makes them stop loving their wives. My question to them was always the same – how do you allow it??? I mean you don’t have to be in Dom/sub relationship to be able to express respect to each other!
My wife feels the same about this, she also does not understand this public emasculation performed by some (a half, rough estimate) of women).
There were times when I was not able to keep my sang-froid and had to speak out loud… This woman was speaking so disrespectfully and sarcastically to her husband that I had to ask this question: “Do you want to be his wife or his first wife?”
Thank you Sir! I really appreciate your comment and insight particularly from the male perspective. Yes...the word I was looking for was emasculating!! And you are right. It doesn't require a D/s relationship to treat each other with the proper respect that each partner deserves.
Deletei was thinking this exact same thing on the way home from spending Thanksgiving with friends. To watch old friends interact with their husbands made me uncomfortable because (1) i recognized old behaviors and (2) my relationship with Master is so different now, i would never speak about or to Him in such a way. Not one of the women from that group of friends treats her husband with respect, even the "minister" trash talks her husband to her face. Theirs is surprisingly the most solid marriage of the group (i think she leads that marriage and he's just fine with that). And it's no wonder there are so many difficulties among the group now that i see things more clearly.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to know that I am not alone in this realization. The sad part is, that I feel more isolated because what do I really have in common with these people anymore? Our outlooks on life, relationships, spirituality is all so different. I am having trouble relating to even family these days.
Deletei found myself wondering if the desire to see these friends would wane as time goes on because of exactly that. Or if our interactions will become more awkward. i guess it's a good thing my closest friends live out of town and i don't see them regularly.
DeleteI really enjoyed this. I just did apost on respect myself. it's nice to know I'm not the only one so offput by this when amongst our friends and family. I've always felt this way and I know there were times in the past when I didn't speak very respectfully about my husband and there have been times that I was downright disrespectful to him as well. This was one of the first realizations that came about when we started this lifestyle and it was nipped in the bud and the butt quickly. I too feel more isolated these days. I chat with my D/s and DD friends far more than my real life friends. I just don't have the desire to be in that situation and I have very few female friends who respect their husbands. I hope that in time I will learn how to be more understanding, forgiving and able to turn a blind cheek and still enjoy time with friends and family. or perhaps a new movement will come around soon and women everywhere will honor the man that cherishes them and we'll have a win win.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my blog and thank you for your comment! I am glad to hear that others have shared similar experiences. It's amazing what power there is in giving the man you love the respect he deserves! I do hate that so many of us feel on the outside in our other relationships though but I guess it's like any other situation where you just outgrow the other person.
DeleteI popped over to your blog to see your post about respect. It was really good!