Thursday, July 16, 2015

Reflections of Last Night

It isn’t often that I need an emotional purge or “catharsis”.  And it is even rarer occasions that Daddy will use physical pain to bring about such a cleansing.  But last night I guess He saw all the signs and decided that was exactly what was in order.

He didn't even let me choose and bring Him the implement this day.  This day, He chose the bamboo cane himself.  I laid across the bed, bracing for the first strike.  It stung and I flinched, but almost instantly, I could feel my body relaxing and my breathing slowly returning to normal.  Still counting in my head, the number grew closer to 20 and each strike hurt a little more than the one before.  By 25, I was biting down on the pillow and trying hard very hard not to squirm.  Daddy noticed and commented on the faintest of moisture beginning to develop in my eyes. 

This is where oftentimes He would stop but not this day.  This day, He ordered me up and to the walk-in closet.  Waiting for Him, I assumed my pose.  Facing the corner of the wall, I laced my fingers behind my head and moved my feet just shoulder width apart.  I could hear His footsteps across the tile of the bathroom floor as He approached and stood behind me.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the wooden spoon in His right hand.  He proceeded to paddle me with the spoon, 2 swats to each cheek at a time, finally stopping when the count in my head reached 50.  

As soon as He was finished, I turned around to face Him.  Dropping to my knees as I am expected to do, I filled my mouth with His smooth, hard flesh.  I didn't expect Him to stop me so quickly but He did and pulled me into His arms, wrapping me in His blanket of safety.  The tears finally began to slowly flow.

It very much took me by surprise when He turned me around again, grabbing my hands, and told me  to place them above my head and brace myself against the corner of the wall.  

This is when the hardest of the paddling began.  My flesh was already stinging and sore and I hadn't been expecting the spanking to continue, which made it all harder to handle.  After 10 really hard strikes, the tears flowed just a little freer.  But it wasn't until the next set of...honestly at this point, I don't know how many...that the dam finally broke.  Each strike brought harder sobs as I stood there helpless, while His voice coaxed and encouraged me to let it all go. 

When the spanking stopped, His body engulfed me, and we stood there together in the closet while my tears continued pouring down His chest.

I think for the first time, I realized and really appreciated just how much I needed that release. I have a really bad habit of stuffing things down, burying the emotions and trying to remain stoic.  For what....I don't know, except that I hate to cry.

Of course, you can see by the picture...I had a lasting reminder even into today. 

15 comments:

  1. It really is a welcome release isn't it?! I have been MIA for a bit but I'm so happy to see (literally!) how you're doing =]

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    1. I had noticed you disappeared. Hopefully, that's a hood thing and all is well;) Thank you as always for stopping by. And yes...it was a very welcomed release particularly this time!

      Have a great weekend lovely lady!!

      XO

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  2. What a beautifully written post. I know exactly what you mean and can out myself in your shoes. Mistress has inform me that I have something similar in store for me coming up as soon as time and circumstances will allow. Our lives have been so (vanilla) busy the last 6 weeks that our intimate time together has been fleeting. Our punishment spanking time together has been almost non-existent and as such, I expect that the pending spanking I am to receive will the most difficult to endure yet. I think we both know that I need it.

    Congratulations on your catharsis and for the release of tears and emotions. I know how good it feels to experience that (well not the tears). There is just something lovely and beautiful about your picture. Thank you for sharing it.

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    1. I am so glad you liked the post sub hub. Our support system here is blogland just blows me away sometimes. It's wonderful having a group of people to share these experienced and truly understand thw beauty in it. I hope that you fare well in your impending spanking. Then again...I know you will!! Have a wonderful weekend:) xo

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    2. Happy to support you :))))))))))

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  3. Still haven't gotten to that point but I have no problem opening up the floodgates without a physical release. While I'm sure painful, I'm happy you were able to get all that stuff out. I know it's been hard, the emotions, the ups and downs. You're lucky Heron is so attentive. Hugs to both of you. K

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    1. K, you are such a wonderful friend!! You have no idea how much you mean to me. Thank you for always being there, thank you for knowing what to say and when to say it. Yes, it was good to get it all out. It was the final step in moving on. I don't normally cry during a spanking. Guess that's why he had to keep pushing the barrier. Hugs back xo

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  4. I know the feeling of stuffing things down and burying to remain stoic. Hugs, glad things are a bit better even though you may still feel sore today for it.

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    1. I think we were taught young that we had TO BE strong and life continues to hammer that lesson home. Once in a while, it's nice to cry like the little girl trapped inside, and know that someone is there to hold us up as we do. I hope you have had a wonderful weekend. Many hugs and kisses!

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  5. Nicely written post. Great pic ;)
    Re-starting after the first cuddle .. I think would immediately break my sub's dams ...

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    1. Mr. Midas,

      Absolutely...that switch in demeanor threw me off balance and ultimately worked.

      And thank you. I am so glad you enjoyed the post and picture:)

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  6. "One must do violence to the object of one's desire; when it surrenders, the pleasure is greater." ~Marquis de Sade

    Love your posts, as always. Sublime.

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    1. What an incredible apropos quote Karen Doll! Excellent!

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    2. Hi Karen Doll! I have to agree with sub hub...it is a quote apropos quote. I love it as I am sure Heron would mightily agree!

      Thank you for so much for your lovely comment and it makes me very happy to know you enjoy my posts. Hopefully, I will have some more to write about soon:)

      xo

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