Make Us Proud

Last Friday night, Heron and I had some special plans.  We met the Mistress and her boyfriend at a local swinger's club. 

The last time I had seen her was the weekend spent in her service, so I was a bit nervous, not knowing what to expect. Of course, this was also the first time Heron and I had been to this type of club so we just didn't know what to expect in general. 

The night was fun and included some girl/girl action, which was certainly a hit with all of the guys at the club.

One of the highlights had to be the wet T-shirt contest.  As soon as Heron and the Mistress heard that there would be such a contest, they agreed that I was going to be in it.

The shirts were passed around to all the contestants and then we were called down to the dance floor.   Heron sent me down with a hug and a kiss, and instructions to make him proud.

Just before the contest started, the Mistress came to the edge of the dance floor and called me over to her.  She planted a kiss on my lips and tweaked my nipples, making sure they were nice and stiff underneath my shirt.  Looking at Heron and then back to me, she said in a firm voice, "you make US proud".

Not that they really needed to worry about making them proud.  With my competitive nature, I really don't like to lose a contest.  

Standing side by side with the other women in the competition, the music started and as did the water works.  People armed with spray bottles, began dousing us as we danced to the music.  I danced as seductively as I could, pulling at my shirt as it clung to my body.  I should mention that all I was wearing besides the shirt was a towel around my waist...with nothing else underneath.  The towel was stripped off and thrown aside, bearing all my "assets" to the club, as I continued dancing for the remainder of the song.

The music stopped and the votes were taken by audience applause.  The emcee decided that there should be a stripper pole dance off between the top three. 

And I was one of the three!

My previous experience with the pole and the lessons that the Mistress gave me a couple months ago sure came in handy.  This time when the votes were taken by audience applause, I WON!

And I came home with an extra $100 in my wallet.

A Time of Firsts

Honestly, I don't even know where this post should start.  

I have wanted to blog, but quite honestly, things have not only been extremely busy in the vanilla side of life but in other aspects of my life as well.  Changes have been rapidly happening and there have been some twists and turns I didn't really see coming.   

People within the lifestyle tend to use the word "play".  Heron and I talked about this concept yesterday and He firmly believes there is no play in what we do, particularly when it comes to others being involved.  I have come to respect and greatly understand His point of view.  We are all real people, with real emotions that can get caught up in the mix.

It's very tricky terrain to navigate, particularly when not having driven on this road before.

Things have escalated pretty quickly and I've had some very amazing experiences, many "firsts", but I do not have a single regret.  Not only have I now experienced my first complete sexual encounter with a woman, but it was also within the framework of a threesome. For those of you wondering, the third was not Heron.  It was Chrysalis's husband.

I was given to the both of them under the fabric of Heron's control, with an abundance of communication between the three of them in regards to expectations and limits.  I cannot stress how much communication this whole process is requiring for all of us, both before but then mostly after.        

Another development in all of this...Heron and Chrysalis are working together and it seems that she is slowly but surely taking an authoritative role with me.  This has been both fun and challenging.  I realize it's going to be quite interesting to learn how to balance my submission to both of them. 

Where is all of this going? 

We can only take it one day at a time and embrace each adventure as it comes.    

So...have I just blown your mind?  It sure has blown mine...in a good way of course:)

I'm grateful to Heron for encouraging me in subtle, and sometimes not so subtle, ways to embrace my deepest desires and fantasies. His expectations of me have prepared me well. 

And for those of you wondering...yes, experiencing a threesome and having sex with a woman was everything I hoped it would be and maybe even more!!

Who Takes Care of You

For whatever reason, I have found this post to be by far one of my hardest to write.  It's been all up in my head but the whole evening still seems almost surreal, making it really hard to find my words and do it the justice it deserves. 

Honestly, I never thought making out with a girl would feel..and be...so natural.  Damn! I never expected to enjoy it so much.  For years, I built things up in mind to believe that maybe, just maybe, some things were better left to fantasy. 


So with that...I'm sorry it took so long..hope you enjoy!

Chrysalis and I sat on opposite sides of the hot tub still enjoying our drinks, still talking.  But I couldn't help notice the occasional bump of our legs under the water.  Getting out of the water a couple of times to refill drinks and cool off, I found myself now very comfortable moving around in front of her completely nude.  We talked about our bodies, discussed the meanings of our tattoos, and plenty of other "stuff".

At one point while we were relaxing, she noticed I was favoring one side of my neck. Turning my body away from her, she started massaging me. With a perfect touch, not too hard and not too soft, she slowly began working out the knots in my shoulders and neck.  Her hands eventually traveled down the length of my back, dipped under the water and focused on my low back and glutes.  The tension in my muscles was melting away.  However, each time she brushed against me with her body, I could feel a different type of tension building.

I am certainly not the expert that she is but I offered to return the favor.  It was such a wonderful and organic way to begin the exploration of her body in a non-sexual way.  I've said before that I am not much of a touchy-feely person so I wasn't sure if I would enjoy touching someone in this way, much less how it would feel touching a woman.  I had really feared that it would just be awkward, but she has this way about her that makes me feel safe, free to open up, and be myself.   

Her skin was so soft and inviting and the curves of her body fascinated me.  Eventually, we went back to talking but seemed to be gravitating around to the same side of the tub until we were more face to face.  With my arm draping over hers and our legs overlapping,  I found it impossible not to stroke her arm, but couldn't bring myself to make any other move.

The conversation drifted off and our eyes locked in that "we know what comes next kind of way".  Thankfully, she had the courage that I didn't have. 

And that is how the kiss began...the first time I have ever kissed a girl.  She leaned forward, bringing my face towards her, and started by brushing her lips against mine. The intensity in the kiss continued to grow but was still a soft and slow exploration.

Now with our bodies pressed together, our hands began tracing the curves of each others bodies.  I moved away from her lips to kiss the soft flesh along her neck, completely intoxicated each time I sensed her breathing change. As her hand moved under the water, lightly brushing against my most sensitive spot, I could feel my body already quivering with anticipation.
        
Eventually my fingers followed her lead as I gently traced the outline of her opening just before finally moving inside her softness.

Learning someone's body is never an easy thing, particularly when you have been with the same person for a very long time.  And yes, we as females have the same parts and know what feels good to ourselves, but we are also complicated creatures. Each one of us is unique and responds differently and I was so completely lost in this desire to explore every inch of her to figure out what she responded to.

Her fingers continued working, coaxing me closer and closer to the point of no return, until I asked her permission for my pleasure just as I would with Heron.

After coming back down to earth, we continued touching and playing until the water around us had gotten cold.  We hopped out and went upstairs to try out a new toy that she had recently bought for herself.  And while my fingers didn't get the job done quite as well as hers had for me, anyone who's read here long enough, knows that I can most definitely WORK a damn Hitachi!

As I crouched over her on the bed, she looked at me and let out a gasp, throwing her hand over her mouth. I thought for sure she had seen something crawling on me.  Half laughing and half worried, she blurted out that I had a mark on me.  Running to the mirror, I looked and then we were both laughing.  I remembered her "nipping" my neck at one point, but never thought it would have been enough to leave a bruise. Obviously, neither did she.    

Crawling back between her legs, I turned on the Hitachi and rubbed it in slow circles over her.  Before long, I recognized the tell-tale signs as her back began arching and her hands each grabbed a fist full of sheets around her.   

Never in all my life, have I watched something so erotic.  Seeing a woman completely lost and enjoying the moment is amazingly hot and I found myself instantly aroused again.  I've always heard women can just keep going with each other for hours.  I now have no doubt as to why. 

Even though it was a fairly tame night...we were both returning to our men with proof of the fun we had.  Not only was I showing up at home with a hickey on my neck, but her husband was coming home to a soaked bed. 


Guess I finally found my words...:)

Cheers to Girl Dates

As she opened the door and smiled, I couldn't help but notice her long brown hair as it draped over one shoulder, reaching all the way down to her waist.  And the long dress she was wearing, clung to her gorgeous figure, undoubtedly with nothing else underneath.  How quickly I felt the strain of what every man must go through when taking in the sight of such an attractive woman. 

She invited me in and I followed her to the kitchen, setting down the bag of goodies I brought to make our cocktails for the evening.  After a few minutes of chatting, we decided to break into the take-out she had picked up.  While she got the plates, I made our drinks and then we sat down at the table.  Raising her glass in the air, I touched mine to hers and she made a toast, "Cheers to girl dates!". 

It's obvious she is very passionate about her health and nutrition and wasn't quite sure if I would enjoy her food choices.  She already has me trying all sorts of new things and I love it!  And everything was amazing...the food, the atmosphere, the conversation.  It all just felt relaxed and natural.

We continued talking long after dinner, because it seems we never run out of things to talk about. And eventually, she suggested that we take our drinks and enjoy the hot tub.

The first thing that popped out of my mouth was "Well, I didn't bring a bathing suit...all I've got is my birthday suit".  She giggled and said that was all she intended to wear anyways.

Taking a couple deep breaths, I thought to myself...you can do this...you really want to do this!

I put my hair up, still gathering my thoughts and courage as she slipped out of her dress, and I couldn't help but watch as she walked towards to the door.  She sweetly offered not to look if it would make me more comfortable.  But at that point, I didn't really mind.  I hurried to get my clothes off and join her.

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We have talked about a name for her here in my blog, something that was meaningful and representative of this stage of our journey.  One of her ideas was chrysalis, as this part of nature represents change and transformation.  I thought that was a beautiful way to honor her, Chrysalis. 

Open Doors

Growth is something I have really seen in myself particularly the last few months, not just in the ways that I respect and serve Heron but also in how my mind is opening to new possibilities. Fear is a bitch to overcome but I don't want that to hinder me any longer.  He's willing to let me explore, encourages me even to experience some of my deepest desires. You know the cliche..."you only live once". 

And while it's not been easy, He's helping me to realize that it is okay to put myself out there.  And yes, putting yourself out there comes with the risk of getting hurt or being rejected but if you don't try, you might miss out on something really good.  I've been hesitant to post too many details about what's been going on for a couple of reasons.  For one, I still wasn't sure how things were going to unfold (and I'm still not completely sure) but mostly I stayed quiet out of fear of jinxing myself.  Everything was going so well, sure enough as soon as I opened my mouth, I would mess it up.  But yes, I did say that I wasn't letting fear stop me, right?! 

So, I wasn't actively searching but I had to come to point in my life where I knew I was ready to fulfill this particular fantasy, should the opportunity come along.  If it was never meant to be, well I was alright with that too.   

But then I met her.

It all started with a random stranger "loving" several of my pictures on Fetlife.  Because his profile didn't seem creepy, I sent a private message, simply thanking him for taking the time to enjoy my pictures.  Usually people are flattered that I took the time to acknowledge them and then we go about our business.  But this man was quite friendly and respectful. After several messages back and forth, He had Heron's permission to send me a friend request. 

Well, a couple days later, this new friend of mine commented on a picture, which showed up in my main feed page of Fet.  Nosy person that I am, I clicked on the picture and couldn't help but notice how attractive this woman was.  Looking through her other photos, I was more intrigued and went to her main profile.  Strangely enough, she lived very close to me and stated very clearly what she was looking for.   

I don't know how many of you believe in "signs" but it felt like things were being placed in front of me and I knew if I didn't at least follow these crumbs, I was letting fear hold me back.  So, as scary as that first step was, I put myself out there and sent her a message.  It was nothing more than a quick hello to say that I had seen her profile and noticed that we lived near each other. 

When she messaged back shortly thereafter, I was in shock.  We began talking back and forth and this continued for days until we made plans to meet in person for dinner.  Exactly one week after that first message, I was standing in my bathroom trying to decide what to wear and was so nervous I could barely stand myself.  She texted me a picture of what she was wearing and I'm not one who easily rendered speechless but I almost couldn't think straight.  She looked amazing! And like just about any other female, I instantly debated on changing outfits, thinking that I was way under dressed, but then decided to stop second guessing myself and stick with what I had originally intended.      

Heron stayed on the phone with me while I drove to dinner talking me through my nerves.  But once her and I met, the dinner went so well, neither of us was ready to end the evening.  So, we went next door to Starbucks, staying there until closing time.  We spent five hours together that night just talking and getting to know each other.  Honestly, I don't think I have ever spent that kind of time with a woman, even in a strictly platonic sense.  Women are not the easiest for me to make friends with and I think a lot of that has to do with feeling like I can't be myself. But with her, I found myself instantly at ease and everything just flowed naturally.

Before meeting, we had already discussed that we weren't just interested in the physical aspect of a relationship.  There also needed to be a connection and chemistry.  And while we had talked enough to know that connection wasn't going to be a problem, the chemistry was yet to be determined.  But if it wasn't there, at least we would have found a friend.       

I think it's safe to say there was plenty of both and we were already making plans to meet again the next weekend. 

We continued talking throughout the whole next week and counted down the days.  Before I knew it Saturday evening had arrived and I was standing at her front door, not nearly as nervous as I had been the week before.

With the house to ourselves for the next few hours, we went in with no expectations but knowing the possibilities were quite exciting!

Q & A: After Two Years and Do We Play With Others

Thank you guys for these questions. Feel free to keep them coming.

From DtBHC:

A two part question for you or both of you if H wants to respond.

After two years into this new dynamic in your relationship did you think you would be where you are now? And secondly where do you see yourself in another two years? 

Given that I was really just learning about the lifestyle, I don't think I knew enough when we started  to create a vision.  I didn't really think in terms of where the road would lead, just that He was setting the pace and direction.  Unfortunately, the one thing I was sure of...is that I would fail.  Not just in the little things.  I really believed that I would fail completely and want out of the dynamic all together.  So in that respect, we are not at all where I thought we would be.  And not that our dynamic is easy to maintain at all and I do fail at times, but I am surprised by how it's fallen into place for us and feels so natural. 

It's hard to say where we will be in two years.  The constraints of still having kids in the house certainly keeps things from extending too far past our current existence.  I would love to be able to meet the right woman and develop a relationship, possibly introducing her into our relationship in some fashion.  I don't know how serious Heron is but he has mentioned in passing about the possibility of training another sub and I would be lying if I didn't admit that the idea of it intrigues me and turns me on.  But I think we are far from making something like that happen.  I'm sure he would love to explore other aspects of sharing me but all of these types of things just boil down to right time, right place, and right person.  And I think we both OK with it happening or not happening.    
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From Sub Hub in Phoenix:
 
Who are the people in your regular life (outside bloggland) that know the intimate details of your relationship with your husband? Do you play with others, and if so who and in what capacity.

Well, I have had the opportunity to attend some local events and meet some people within the lifestyle so they know about our dynamic. Heron's good friend knows and participated in a scene with us. I wrote about that a little while back.  And I've mentioned that our 18 year old is becoming privy to some of our kinkery and has an idea that our marriage may have some power exchange but obviously doesn't know the extent or details.  Outside of that, no one in our vanilla world knows.  

We have not played with others, unless you count the experience with Heron's friend.  I guess one of the big limiting factors in this regard is that while I have attended some local events, we are just not really involved in the  community on a regular basis.  As I said in my answer to DtBHC, I'm sure this is an area Heron would want to explore further. However, His interest lies mostly in my servicing or being used by others.  There are a couple different scenarios that particularly interest Him but those are big steps...steps that He considers very seriously. So, that is something He may choose to explore if and when an opportunity presents itself, but only if the timing and situation is absolutely right.

Leading Me Gently

Seems a topic that has come up in a couple of blogs that I have read lately is the idea of introducing another person into the dynamic (specifically speaking...a girl/girl encounter).  I've also spent some time recently talking with a FL friend about this...quizzing her about some of her new experiences and discussing some of the questions I have.  

I suppose everyone has differing opinions and their own reasons for doing it or not doing it, whichever the case may be. For us, going down this road would certainly push my boundaries and take me out of my comfort zone, but more than anything, it's about Daddy encouraging me to do something that I have fantasized about for a long time. 

Now, I would be lying if I said that the idea of it didn't turn Him on as well.  I mean what guy isn't excited about a little girl/girl action?  But He doesn't really feel the need to participate or even watch, at least not in the beginning.  He wants me to have an opportunity to explore and become comfortable without the added pressure of Him being involved.

And I could be wrong, but I don't get the feeling that this is one of those issues He wants to force.  Of course, He knows I would submit to whatever He desired.  But it feels more like He's just gently leading me there, which I appreciate because it's allowing me to work through my own fears and to develop my own interest and desire for it. 

Overall, do I feel that having this experience is necessary for mine or His happiness? Not at all.  I wouldn't go through life feeling like I had missed out on something if the opportunity just didn't present itself.

So, while this experience would fulfill of fantasy we both share, ultimately the physical pleasures would be for my enjoyment.  At least I assume I would enjoy it, but honestly, I have no way of knowing.  I just know the idea of it turns me on. And seeing it turns me on. So, I suspect I would be just fine as long as it was the right person and situation. But I know without a doubt, if left to my own devices, I would never have the courage or initiative to pursue it on my own.

Perhaps you remember my talking about  "story time" and how uncomfortable it makes me.  I find it really difficult to come up with new and different scenarios.     

Well, Daddy decided to help out this past week by providing me a set of pictures, 55 pictures to be exact, all downloaded in a file on my flash drive. He explained that the order and details in the images were very important as they would set the scene and tone of the story, as well as create a loose story line for me to develop and follow.

His goal was to lead me down a path.  And as long as I stayed on point, his path would help me create the type of story He wanted to hear. And I'm thinking now...maybe open my mind to some things in the process.

So what were these pictures, you ask?

The general theme was a woman being dominated and used by a group of women, in all various, sorted ways.  Whew...none of my stories had ever gone down that path before.  Dominated by and servicing a group of men...sure. But not women.  Those were always images safer tucked in the darkest recesses of my mind.  

This was certainly no easy task but I have to admit, it must have touched on some kind of nerve because certain parts of me enjoyed writing the story way too much.

Obviously, I have no direct experience with women so I also had to do some reading of other fantasy stories to draw inspiration. Between the reading and the writing, I was a horny little mess and beyond grateful when He suggested that I relieve some pressure.

It did take several days to complete and I even had to request permission for a little more time, but the end product was a 5 page story. And I'm not talking double spaced pages either!

In my opinion, the story itself was probably better than the delivery because the vocalization of it all still feels awkward.

But afterwards, Daddy told me that I will have an opportunity for plenty of practice since He was already working on pictures for Chapter 2!  sigh

So if go MIA from my blog for days at a time in the near future, it just might be because I am writing another chapter!