Saturday, March 7, 2015

Q & A: After Two Years and Do We Play With Others

Thank you guys for these questions. Feel free to keep them coming.

From DtBHC:

A two part question for you or both of you if H wants to respond.

After two years into this new dynamic in your relationship did you think you would be where you are now? And secondly where do you see yourself in another two years? 

Given that I was really just learning about the lifestyle, I don't think I knew enough when we started  to create a vision.  I didn't really think in terms of where the road would lead, just that He was setting the pace and direction.  Unfortunately, the one thing I was sure that I would fail.  Not just in the little things.  I really believed that I would fail completely and want out of the dynamic all together.  So in that respect, we are not at all where I thought we would be.  And not that our dynamic is easy to maintain at all and I do fail at times, but I am surprised by how it's fallen into place for us and feels so natural. 

It's hard to say where we will be in two years.  The constraints of still having kids in the house certainly keeps things from extending too far past our current existence.  I would love to be able to meet the right woman and develop a relationship, possibly introducing her into our relationship in some fashion.  I don't know how serious Heron is but he has mentioned in passing about the possibility of training another sub and I would be lying if I didn't admit that the idea of it intrigues me and turns me on.  But I think we are far from making something like that happen.  I'm sure he would love to explore other aspects of sharing me but all of these types of things just boil down to right time, right place, and right person.  And I think we both OK with it happening or not happening.    


From Sub Hub in Phoenix:
Who are the people in your regular life (outside bloggland) that know the intimate details of your relationship with your husband? Do you play with others, and if so who and in what capacity.

Well, I have had the opportunity to attend some local events and meet some people within the lifestyle so they know about our dynamic. Heron's good friend knows and participated in a scene with us. I wrote about that a little while back.  And I've mentioned that our 18 year old is becoming privy to some of our kinkery and has an idea that our marriage may have some power exchange but obviously doesn't know the extent or details.  Outside of that, no one in our vanilla world knows.  

We have not played with others, unless you count the experience with Heron's friend.  I guess one of the big limiting factors in this regard is that while I have attended some local events, we are just not really involved in the  community on a regular basis.  As I said in my answer to DtBHC, I'm sure this is an area Heron would want to explore further. However, His interest lies mostly in my servicing or being used by others.  There are a couple different scenarios that particularly interest Him but those are big steps...steps that He considers very seriously. So, that is something He may choose to explore if and when an opportunity presents itself, but only if the timing and situation is absolutely right.


  1. Hi lg,

    Thanks for taking the time to answer my question.

    1. I appreciate the questions. Heron said he is probably going to post a comment back to you as well. Now, I've got to get busy asking some questions myself.

  2. Thank you little girl. Maybe sometime you could expand on your experience where Heron's friend "participated"? Being honest ... I have fantasies of Mistress having me service and be used by others, but like you, the timing and situation needs to be absolutely right.

    Thanks again for taking the time to answer.

    1. It was my pleasure...thank you for the question sub hub.

      You would have to read pretty far back in my blog so I included the links below if you are interested in reading about our scene with Heron's friend.'s a bit to read but it was quite an experience and deserved several posts.

  3. Let me get the first question out of the way.


    I didn't think we would be where we are now. Despite many trials and tribulations (on both our parts) lg has really jumped in with both feet. She amazes me at how hard she works to make everything go so well. I tease her sometimes by telling her that she takes on the fun out of it, because I don't get to punish her for screwing up.

    Don't get me wrong, she still screws up from time to time and she hates it! She doesn't want to be punished and does everything in her power to serve me. I've gotten to the point where I love/hate to punish her. You know what I mean?

    My heart hates it. But the rest of me? Yeah, the rest of me still loves it.

    But I do second her thought. Our dynamic just feels natural.

    Now for the second part of the question...The truth is I don't look to far ahead. lg can attest to the fact that I'm relatively easy going and usually take things day by day. I try not to worry about things too far ahead. It keeps me from being stressed.

    As lg mentioned, with kids it is hard to keep a game face on all the time. So we continue to let our dynamic flow. There are days when we can do a lot and there a days when a "Hello sir. Dinner is ready." are as involved as we can get.

    She once asked if I thought we could keep this up forever. I told her that it didn't matter. The honest truth is that I love her!

    And as long as she and I are together in the end...that's all that matters.

    1. Hi Heron

      Thanks for taking the time to respond. As I experience and read more about relationships involving a power exchange, the more I'm convinced that they form the strongest and most supportive relationships around. They are just not politically correct as somehow this notion of equality has crept in. I don't consider myself weak or inferior, just that I contribute in a different but complimentary way to that of my wife. Our lives in most other ways are influenced by having recognised leaders and followers, so why not in a relationship?

      I was reading some of lg’s earlier posts a few days ago, as well as your response just now and that has prompted some more questions, if I may.

      You described ‘the beast inside’ a while back and you hint of it here. Can you help me understand what this is and how it influences your need to dominate? I don't have one living in me, rather I have a myriad of thoughts running around inside my head which influence my desires and behaviours.

      Secondly, I was interested in your further thoughts about how this type of relationship is sustained for the duration of your lives? Going deeper is obviously one way but I get a feeling that this can't be the answer as there would have to be a limit somewhere before one person resented where things had gone. We might be generally compatible but we are unlikely to want exactly the same things. Does it somehow settle down to a service dynamic? I suppose I have to answer these questions for myself as well as do most couples.

    2. What is the "beast"?

      It's hard to explain, but for me it is really nothing more than a feeling, I guess. It's that overwhelming, all encompassing need to tease and torment, give intense pleasure and pain, to sexually devour my wife, that leaves me shaking with need and desire.

      I've heard it called different names by different people and it all revolves around something dark or bestial. I don't know why that is except for the fact that it really the only way that I can describe the primal desire that literally screams to be let out.

      I just equate what I feel inside to a wild animal..a beast. Most of the time, the beast is okay just chilling out in the sun, but when it gets hungry....!!!

      I still like to challenge her for now and she still has some boundaries to push. I think we are still a long way from reaching her limit. She surprises me a lot more than I can surprise her.

      I'm not sure I've ever thought about sustaining the lifestyle. As I mentioned before, I don't look to far ahead, focusing on each day. A lot of people spend too time either looking in the past or worry about the future to live in today. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years or life is what happens when you're busy making plans. Or pick the cliché or song lyrics of your choice.

      Honestly, I've never really imagined sitting side-by-side with my wife on a porch swing overlooking the lake and saying "Go fetch me some tea and my false teeth, bitch!"

      You know what I mean?

      I DO imagine sitting on the porch swing with her, though. Just watching the sunset.

      The sun eventually sets on everything. I just want to be there with my wife when it does.

    3. Thank you Heron for answering my questions. Rather than this end here I will take your answer over to my blog and add my own thoughts that your response has prompted.