At the very end of my last post, I mentioned that I had some special plans for this past weekend. I had been invited by a friend within the lifestyle to go clothing optional resort for the weekend, which was exciting as it was something I had never done before.
Through a crazy turn of events, I was literally hitting PUBLISH on that post Thursday night when I got a text on my phone. My friend was asking if Heron had given me any particular rules or tasks for the weekend. She then told me that I was free to give Heron her number if He cared to "conspire" on anything. Now, I knew she was pretty well experienced and quite tough as a Mistress so this was both exciting and scary for me.
In the span of a few short minutes, the two of them were talking. Even though I had never "played" or participated in any type of scene with her, we both trust her implicitly. They discussed ideas she had, ideas He had, limits, etc. And just like that, my weekend went from that of rest and relaxation to something far different. Heron agreed to my being her slave for the weekend.
Yes...I was being loaned!
Since I returned home Sunday, I have had a lot to process. The experience was unlike anything I had ever been through. Some of it was really good, but some of it pushed me FAR past my comfort zone into places I never thought possible.
Slowly but surely I intend to write about some of it, probably not all. As always, there will be pieces I keep for myself and Heron. To be completely honest, I debated writing about this at all. But in all fairness,
it is a huge leap in my journey and now part of my growth as a slave.
I realize some of it may be uncomfortable to read about, some of you may even have very strong feelings about it.
Please keep in mind, this is the dynamic we have and it is consensual. I trust Heron enough to do with me as He wishes, even if that means He entrusts me to someone else. I knew there was a point in time this may come. I think the scary realization for me is that I am beginning to believe that there is nothing I won't do to please Him.
He carries the responsibilities for the choices made and as I re-tell the story, He will be glad to address any questions or comments Himself. He has had a great deal to process as well and I think we are doing a great job of that together.
Showing posts with label limits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label limits. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
What's Love Got to Do With It
It seems that I am only four days behind in getting my March Q & A Month started, so first things first.
Heron and I want to invite any and all questions from our readers, even those of you that prefer to follow along silently or remain anonymous. If you don't feel comfortable posting comments here on the blog, please send me a personal message. I will be sure to keep your identity confidential when I post my response.
So...what the heck...I'm going to go ahead and kick off things off with a question I received from appy in response to one of my recent posts. It wasn't officially part of the Q & A but it was a such great question that it even inspired Heron to answer, which is such a rarity that I wanted to repost for anyone who might have missed it.
Can you understand why it makes H happy to give you so much pain? I think when you love somebody you want to give her pleasure, not pain. I hope you or H will explain it to me.
It's an interesting question. From a psychological perspective, I'm sure theories abound on why I am the way I am. I, however, will not psychoanalyze myself.
I do what I do merely because I am wired that way.
My love for littlegirl is all encompassing...I would die for her without hesitation. My love is not...is never...in question. She knows this. Which is why she submits her body to me - My own personal canvas.
To ask why I am the way I am, would be to ask why two men view a guitar in different lights. One picks it up and begins to strum a classical piece and the other just wants to hear the fucker scream.
Because of what I do, I must pay very close attention to her body. Her breathing patterns, every gasp and moan, her arousal (and yes it does happen), every bead of sweat, all mean something. They are the notes that I play and sometimes I just want to hear it scream.
Her pain feeds the beast inside. It also arouses her so, but I very much aware of her limits. I am aroused by pushing her, teasing her and testing her.
It is presumptuous at best to say that what I do, I view it as art. But humor me for a moment.
My wife can attest that I pay just as much attention to setting up the scene. Things must be framed just so, the lighting just right, the right music in the background. Her response is very much a part of my scene. The wrong response (when I've pushed too far) is not what I'm looking for.
Going back to the idea of the canvas. Her body is mine...my own personal canvas.
I paint the only way I know how.
_Heron_
Heron and I want to invite any and all questions from our readers, even those of you that prefer to follow along silently or remain anonymous. If you don't feel comfortable posting comments here on the blog, please send me a personal message. I will be sure to keep your identity confidential when I post my response.
So...what the heck...I'm going to go ahead and kick off things off with a question I received from appy in response to one of my recent posts. It wasn't officially part of the Q & A but it was a such great question that it even inspired Heron to answer, which is such a rarity that I wanted to repost for anyone who might have missed it.
Can you understand why it makes H happy to give you so much pain? I think when you love somebody you want to give her pleasure, not pain. I hope you or H will explain it to me.
It's an interesting question. From a psychological perspective, I'm sure theories abound on why I am the way I am. I, however, will not psychoanalyze myself.
I do what I do merely because I am wired that way.
My love for littlegirl is all encompassing...I would die for her without hesitation. My love is not...is never...in question. She knows this. Which is why she submits her body to me - My own personal canvas.
To ask why I am the way I am, would be to ask why two men view a guitar in different lights. One picks it up and begins to strum a classical piece and the other just wants to hear the fucker scream.
Because of what I do, I must pay very close attention to her body. Her breathing patterns, every gasp and moan, her arousal (and yes it does happen), every bead of sweat, all mean something. They are the notes that I play and sometimes I just want to hear it scream.
Her pain feeds the beast inside. It also arouses her so, but I very much aware of her limits. I am aroused by pushing her, teasing her and testing her.
It is presumptuous at best to say that what I do, I view it as art. But humor me for a moment.
My wife can attest that I pay just as much attention to setting up the scene. Things must be framed just so, the lighting just right, the right music in the background. Her response is very much a part of my scene. The wrong response (when I've pushed too far) is not what I'm looking for.
Going back to the idea of the canvas. Her body is mine...my own personal canvas.
I paint the only way I know how.
_Heron_
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Vacation Day Promises
Much needed relief finally came (haha...pun intended) for me yesterday. Probably not in the way either of us would have preferred but at this point, who's complaining? Certainly not me!
The price of one said orgasm was high and was something I had to determine and offer up on my own.
At the end of the day, I wish I could say that it was all a mind fuck, but I don't believe so. He says I will be held to my promise. Yikes!!
But I assumed that might be the case, which is why I did a lot of soul searching before committing myself to anything.
We haven't discussed the details of how, when, or where just yet. Only that at some point, it will happen. It's kind of hard to set a time frame on something like this. Some of it will depend on opportunity.
Will it push both of our limits?
Absolutely! Probably more than anything thus far. More so even than the experience I wrote about in The Note, The Knock, and The Slut. When I wrote about being on display and servicing another man, it provoked a lot of talk and reflection about limits. What I have committed to now, will probably do the same.
Is it something I want?
Yes and no. He knows this is something I want to experience, yet at the same time I don't...if that makes sense.
Yes, I like the idea of it. In fantasy, it is an extreme turn on. In reality, we both think ultimately I will enjoy it.
But I am a chicken shit. So, in that regard I am always perfectly comfortable limiting my own experiences and saying I don't want it. Also, I would feel more comfortable if He was going to be a participant, but I know going into it that He won't, except overseeing for my safety.
Is it something I need?
I say NO...He says YES. It's important to continue pushing my boundaries and that's why He's the Master. He knows my needs better than I know them myself most of the time.
Does He want me to want it or does He want me to be willing to do what He asks?
The answer to this is both even though ultimately, it doesn't matter. If it's something He wants me to do, I will.
That being said, it's more enjoyable for Him to know that I also want to do it.
But I think it's most pleasing for Him to know that it is something I am willing to do, not because He has forced me to bend to His will but because He has forced me to accept the deepest darkest part of myself that actually wants to do it.
By the way...thank you for your recent comments that lead to some of the thoughts in this post as well as the title. You know who you are ;-)
The price of one said orgasm was high and was something I had to determine and offer up on my own.
At the end of the day, I wish I could say that it was all a mind fuck, but I don't believe so. He says I will be held to my promise. Yikes!!
But I assumed that might be the case, which is why I did a lot of soul searching before committing myself to anything.
We haven't discussed the details of how, when, or where just yet. Only that at some point, it will happen. It's kind of hard to set a time frame on something like this. Some of it will depend on opportunity.
Will it push both of our limits?
Absolutely! Probably more than anything thus far. More so even than the experience I wrote about in The Note, The Knock, and The Slut. When I wrote about being on display and servicing another man, it provoked a lot of talk and reflection about limits. What I have committed to now, will probably do the same.
Is it something I want?
Yes and no. He knows this is something I want to experience, yet at the same time I don't...if that makes sense.
Yes, I like the idea of it. In fantasy, it is an extreme turn on. In reality, we both think ultimately I will enjoy it.
But I am a chicken shit. So, in that regard I am always perfectly comfortable limiting my own experiences and saying I don't want it. Also, I would feel more comfortable if He was going to be a participant, but I know going into it that He won't, except overseeing for my safety.
Is it something I need?
I say NO...He says YES. It's important to continue pushing my boundaries and that's why He's the Master. He knows my needs better than I know them myself most of the time.
Does He want me to want it or does He want me to be willing to do what He asks?
The answer to this is both even though ultimately, it doesn't matter. If it's something He wants me to do, I will.
That being said, it's more enjoyable for Him to know that I also want to do it.
But I think it's most pleasing for Him to know that it is something I am willing to do, not because He has forced me to bend to His will but because He has forced me to accept the deepest darkest part of myself that actually wants to do it.
By the way...thank you for your recent comments that lead to some of the thoughts in this post as well as the title. You know who you are ;-)
Thursday, June 19, 2014
A Year Ago...
It's been exactly one year since He placed His collar around my neck. What a special time that was in our lives. It's crazy...crazy that a year has already passed.
In honor of this one year anniversary and how much it means to me, I thought I would make a compilation of excerpts from several blog posts during the days leading up to and including our collaring ceremony. Feel free to follow the links if you would like to read each post in it's entirety.
_______________________________________________________________________
For the first time in at least 10 years...we are completely alone. One week with no work, no responsibilities, or anyone in the house with us.
Friday evening, the start of our vacation and first night home together, Master takes me in the bedroom and explains to me for the this time that we have...there is one thing that I must very clearly understand.
He says very firmly, "Remember, everything is just because I can".
from Just Because He can
________________________________________________________________________
All week, I had been mentally preparing and patiently awaiting what was to start yesterday with a mix of excitement and fear. Master told me that He had several intense scenes planned over a period of a few days that would be meant to challenge my physical and emotion strength and test my commitment and complete surrender as His slave. The first of these "tests" took place last night.
He called the scene "At the "Cross"roads". When all was said and done, this was by far the longest session we have had, at a little over 3 hours and little did I know, would mainly focus on the one thing I fear the most...having my tits whipped.
Starting with a light flogger, He begins to lick gently at my stomach, then easing up to my tits and down to my pussy. I try to relax into it and enjoy the light stimulation as He continues across the front of my body but in the back of mind know that His gentleness will not last. Gradually, He increases intensity and speed until I hear myself moaning with each stroke contacting my body, caught somewhere between a little bit of pain but also a little bit of pleasure. Changing to a heavy flogger, He again starts easy and works His way up to harsher, more deliberate strikes, until I am crying out in agony with almost each stroke, particularly the ones that make contact with my overly sensitive nipples. As my cries turn to sobs, I am still determined to take what He has to give, trusting that He will know how far to push me. He encourages me to breathe through it, to find my focus...pushing me through the last few more lashes.
As He eases me off the cross, I collapse into His arms still sobbing, shaking, and completely fatigued. He holds me and assures me of how good I did. And once I have composed myself, He offers me water pointing to the bowl sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. Knowing what this means, without hesitation or shame, I quickly drop to my hands and knees and crawl to the bowl quickly lapping at the water like a puppy. When He isn't looking, I glance down at my battered tits to see the welts and lash marks already forming and whimper in pain, hoping that my tits won't have to endure any more for the evening. Once I quenched my thirst, I assume the kneeling pose as instructed with my face down on the floor and He knows I am ready to resume.
from "Crossroads: A Night of Riding the Cross (Part 1)
______________________________________________________________________
Almost too shaken at this point to drink any water, He sits down in front of me again, kisses me, and explains that this is the final time I will be on the cross should I so chose. However, if I chose this final round, I will step up to the cross and beg Him to be strap me on and whip my tits.
This time, without the blindfold, He walks up to me with the heavy flogger and begins to lightly lash across my stomach first. It's not often, I get to see Him working. With just the hint of a grin on His face, He is so handsome and consumed by what He is doing...I can't help but fall in love a little more as I watch Him. It's obvious, He is being easier than earlier but my skin is already on fire. As He moves to my tits, I pull against the restraints and cry out as He reminds me to breathe. Finally, He tells me only two more, one on each nipple and I am to thank Him for each. Staring directly into His eyes as a reminder to myself of why I can endure this, the flogger lands on my right nipple, and despite the searing pain, I find myself choking out the words, "THANK YOU MASTER FOR WHIPPING MY NIPPLE!". And the same follows for the left. Relief floods though me as He unstraps me and pulls me into His arms. I can feel how turned on He is and He is kissing me so hard and passionately, my body just melts against Him.
from "Crossroads: A Night of Riding the Cross (Part 2)
_______________________________________________________________________
He had designed this moment so beautifully and will be one that I will never forget. He asked me to remove my clothes and kneel at His feel as I felt the smooth metal of the collar as it was locked around my neck signifying to us both that I belong to Him completely.
He had something prepared that He wanted to say...some vows so to speak. The short version is that He promised to guide and protect me, honor my feelings and needs, and tend to my happiness, health, and well-being. I, in turn, accepted to follow Him on this journey, and to serve and belong to Him.
Then He began read to me an excerpt from a book and I could no longer hold back my tears.
The story told of a man becoming completely "intoxicated" by the song of a Nightbird. The sound of this Nightbird consumed his thoughts and so "enraptured" him that it consumed his soul. Choking up as He spoke (which let me say does not happen typically), He explained that I am His Nightbird.
The front of the tag on my collar is engraved with the words..."Owned by Heron"
The back is engraved with the words..."As I Own His Heart".
from the Collaring of Nightbird
________________________________________________________________________
In honor of this one year anniversary and how much it means to me, I thought I would make a compilation of excerpts from several blog posts during the days leading up to and including our collaring ceremony. Feel free to follow the links if you would like to read each post in it's entirety.
_______________________________________________________________________
For the first time in at least 10 years...we are completely alone. One week with no work, no responsibilities, or anyone in the house with us.
Friday evening, the start of our vacation and first night home together, Master takes me in the bedroom and explains to me for the this time that we have...there is one thing that I must very clearly understand.
He says very firmly, "Remember, everything is just because I can".
from Just Because He can
________________________________________________________________________
All week, I had been mentally preparing and patiently awaiting what was to start yesterday with a mix of excitement and fear. Master told me that He had several intense scenes planned over a period of a few days that would be meant to challenge my physical and emotion strength and test my commitment and complete surrender as His slave. The first of these "tests" took place last night.
He called the scene "At the "Cross"roads". When all was said and done, this was by far the longest session we have had, at a little over 3 hours and little did I know, would mainly focus on the one thing I fear the most...having my tits whipped.
Starting with a light flogger, He begins to lick gently at my stomach, then easing up to my tits and down to my pussy. I try to relax into it and enjoy the light stimulation as He continues across the front of my body but in the back of mind know that His gentleness will not last. Gradually, He increases intensity and speed until I hear myself moaning with each stroke contacting my body, caught somewhere between a little bit of pain but also a little bit of pleasure. Changing to a heavy flogger, He again starts easy and works His way up to harsher, more deliberate strikes, until I am crying out in agony with almost each stroke, particularly the ones that make contact with my overly sensitive nipples. As my cries turn to sobs, I am still determined to take what He has to give, trusting that He will know how far to push me. He encourages me to breathe through it, to find my focus...pushing me through the last few more lashes.
As He eases me off the cross, I collapse into His arms still sobbing, shaking, and completely fatigued. He holds me and assures me of how good I did. And once I have composed myself, He offers me water pointing to the bowl sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. Knowing what this means, without hesitation or shame, I quickly drop to my hands and knees and crawl to the bowl quickly lapping at the water like a puppy. When He isn't looking, I glance down at my battered tits to see the welts and lash marks already forming and whimper in pain, hoping that my tits won't have to endure any more for the evening. Once I quenched my thirst, I assume the kneeling pose as instructed with my face down on the floor and He knows I am ready to resume.
from "Crossroads: A Night of Riding the Cross (Part 1)
______________________________________________________________________
Almost too shaken at this point to drink any water, He sits down in front of me again, kisses me, and explains that this is the final time I will be on the cross should I so chose. However, if I chose this final round, I will step up to the cross and beg Him to be strap me on and whip my tits.
This time, without the blindfold, He walks up to me with the heavy flogger and begins to lightly lash across my stomach first. It's not often, I get to see Him working. With just the hint of a grin on His face, He is so handsome and consumed by what He is doing...I can't help but fall in love a little more as I watch Him. It's obvious, He is being easier than earlier but my skin is already on fire. As He moves to my tits, I pull against the restraints and cry out as He reminds me to breathe. Finally, He tells me only two more, one on each nipple and I am to thank Him for each. Staring directly into His eyes as a reminder to myself of why I can endure this, the flogger lands on my right nipple, and despite the searing pain, I find myself choking out the words, "THANK YOU MASTER FOR WHIPPING MY NIPPLE!". And the same follows for the left. Relief floods though me as He unstraps me and pulls me into His arms. I can feel how turned on He is and He is kissing me so hard and passionately, my body just melts against Him.
from "Crossroads: A Night of Riding the Cross (Part 2)
_______________________________________________________________________
He had designed this moment so beautifully and will be one that I will never forget. He asked me to remove my clothes and kneel at His feel as I felt the smooth metal of the collar as it was locked around my neck signifying to us both that I belong to Him completely.
He had something prepared that He wanted to say...some vows so to speak. The short version is that He promised to guide and protect me, honor my feelings and needs, and tend to my happiness, health, and well-being. I, in turn, accepted to follow Him on this journey, and to serve and belong to Him.
Then He began read to me an excerpt from a book and I could no longer hold back my tears.
The story told of a man becoming completely "intoxicated" by the song of a Nightbird. The sound of this Nightbird consumed his thoughts and so "enraptured" him that it consumed his soul. Choking up as He spoke (which let me say does not happen typically), He explained that I am His Nightbird.
The front of the tag on my collar is engraved with the words..."Owned by Heron"
The back is engraved with the words..."As I Own His Heart".
from the Collaring of Nightbird
________________________________________________________________________
Monday, June 9, 2014
Playing Alone
Wednesday night I could feel all the tell-tale signs. Certain parts of my body would soon be out of commission for Daddy's use. As I happened to be showering off after our walk, He came in, pulled open the shower door, and took in a glance.
When He closed the door and started to walk away, I squirmed around trying to find the words.
Just so you are aware, I think come tomorrow, I might be wearing my red necklace.
Anyways, my not so subtle hint seemed to go fairly unnoticed until I was standing naked in front of the vanity mirror and drying my hair. He came back in the bathroom and patted my butt. Leaning close to my ear, He told me not to bother coming out of the bedroom until I had given myself five orgasms.
Not really the direction I was expecting but who's complaining...right? He closed the bedroom door behind Him and disappeared to the office, leaving me to my business.
I was aroused, but not really 5 orgasms aroused, so I started plundering through the toy cabinet looking for the heavy artillery that could help me get the job done.
Well...He didn't specifically say anything was off limits!
Daddy got quite a surprise and chuckled out loud when He came back in the room. At that point, I had only gotten through number 4 and there was chaos all over the bedroom.
Towel on the bed...
Magic wand attachment lying on the nightstand table...
Kong well used and lying in the sink...
And I was sitting on the exercises bench looking sheepish, holding the magic wand, with a wooden spoon lying beside me. I'm a little embarrassed to admit what I actually was doing. Let's just say at that point...I needed a little extra stimulation if number 5 was ever going to happen.
I have to give mc kitten over at Pillow Talk credit because her recent post and some of the follow-up comments made me reflect back on this task of masturbating alone. I really admire those who are more comfortable doing this in the presence of their significant other.
Certainly, I prefer that He is an active participant because I need and crave that emotional connection and let's face it...it's just more fun that way!
But this isn't always how He wants it. Sometimes, He just wants me to touch or please myself. Possibly, it's for His own entertainment. At times, it's for my own build up or relief of sexual tension. But I venture to say, in most cases, is just because He can.
Maybe I'm a bit odd, but I actually would rather do this alone. Of course, I will "perform" for Him if asked but I don't know...I just feel so awkward and self conscious, particularly if He is just watching and not participating.
As long as we have been together, it really doesn't make sense and I don't understand why, but I do know this shyness ultimately inhibits my own exploration and overall experience.
In thinking about why I prefer it this way, I realized there is a positive side in that I have probably stretched some of my own limits when experimenting by myself, particularly when tasked with multiples orgasms like the other night. Multiples, for me, don't come (pun intended) easily so I have to push myself further, both physically and mentally.
Maybe Daddy understands this, and uses it as just one of His many ways to nudge me...
deeper into my own dark desires and fantasies...
to a place of acknowledging and accepting their existence.
When He closed the door and started to walk away, I squirmed around trying to find the words.
Just so you are aware, I think come tomorrow, I might be wearing my red necklace.
Anyways, my not so subtle hint seemed to go fairly unnoticed until I was standing naked in front of the vanity mirror and drying my hair. He came back in the bathroom and patted my butt. Leaning close to my ear, He told me not to bother coming out of the bedroom until I had given myself five orgasms.
Not really the direction I was expecting but who's complaining...right? He closed the bedroom door behind Him and disappeared to the office, leaving me to my business.
I was aroused, but not really 5 orgasms aroused, so I started plundering through the toy cabinet looking for the heavy artillery that could help me get the job done.
Well...He didn't specifically say anything was off limits!
Daddy got quite a surprise and chuckled out loud when He came back in the room. At that point, I had only gotten through number 4 and there was chaos all over the bedroom.
Towel on the bed...
Magic wand attachment lying on the nightstand table...
Kong well used and lying in the sink...
And I was sitting on the exercises bench looking sheepish, holding the magic wand, with a wooden spoon lying beside me. I'm a little embarrassed to admit what I actually was doing. Let's just say at that point...I needed a little extra stimulation if number 5 was ever going to happen.
I have to give mc kitten over at Pillow Talk credit because her recent post and some of the follow-up comments made me reflect back on this task of masturbating alone. I really admire those who are more comfortable doing this in the presence of their significant other.
Certainly, I prefer that He is an active participant because I need and crave that emotional connection and let's face it...it's just more fun that way!
But this isn't always how He wants it. Sometimes, He just wants me to touch or please myself. Possibly, it's for His own entertainment. At times, it's for my own build up or relief of sexual tension. But I venture to say, in most cases, is just because He can.
Maybe I'm a bit odd, but I actually would rather do this alone. Of course, I will "perform" for Him if asked but I don't know...I just feel so awkward and self conscious, particularly if He is just watching and not participating.
As long as we have been together, it really doesn't make sense and I don't understand why, but I do know this shyness ultimately inhibits my own exploration and overall experience.
In thinking about why I prefer it this way, I realized there is a positive side in that I have probably stretched some of my own limits when experimenting by myself, particularly when tasked with multiples orgasms like the other night. Multiples, for me, don't come (pun intended) easily so I have to push myself further, both physically and mentally.
Maybe Daddy understands this, and uses it as just one of His many ways to nudge me...
deeper into my own dark desires and fantasies...
to a place of acknowledging and accepting their existence.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Easy...Unitl It's Not (part 2)
As I stood there, with the tears drying on my face, in a see thru pink tube top with slits He had cut horizontally in the fabric to expose more of my cleavage (nearly exposing my nipples as well), skin tight shorts, and heels, He looked at me and said, That is it! Perfect!
That was the outfit I would wear to the car wash.
I looked at myself in the mirror and begged Him to reconsider. I might have even casually mentioned something about going to jail.
He did agree that maybe it was exposing too much and suggested that He might find a different top.
Get undressed and get in the bed.
I asked if I could put my robe on first and take the dogs out for the night. He followed me outside and stood with me. He offered a choice, or compromise so to speak. Who knows...He may have been planning that all along. ugggg...mind games!
He would allow me to go to the car wash in something more appropriate...if I told Him a story while stroking Him with my hands AND the story had to be "good enough". If it wasn't, I would be wearing the original outfit.
Why was He pushing so many of my limits in one night?!
I won't say that I hate telling stories as much as public humiliation but I certainly don't like having to come up with them. Who knows why telling stories is so difficult for me. Maybe it's a bit of shyness or fear that He will find my story is uninspiring. I'll be the first to admit, I my brain is much more analytical and somewhat lacks in the imagination department.
I mean how many different ways can you be kidnapped and used over and over again by multiple people?
But that's the scenario that turns Him on, so I stick with it.
We started with me lying close to the edge of the bed, on my back. He was standing up beside me so that I had full access to stroke His cock. At first, I had trouble deciding on the setting of the story, but with a little direction from Him, I was able to get started.
Even though He wasn't using me in the way I had hoped, He did have a new little twist for our story telling time. He was using the Magic Wand on me and I certainly didn't mind that! It was a little distracting though. As my kidnapper was cutting my shirt off and pulling my nipples, Master could tell I was getting worked up so He gave me permission to cum and I actually enjoyed a rather intense orgasm.
Unfortunately, for Him, right after I got mine, we were interrupted by a little one knocking on the door. It was close to 2 am before we got her back to sleep but I finally had a chance to finish my story for Him. Judging by the large load He deposited in my mouth, the story was "good enough".
Yay me!! He actually complimented several parts of my story :o
So, even though it wasn't really the evening I had hoped for, it made me feel better to hear Him admit later that it wasn't really the evening He had planned. We certainly made up for it the next morning, but that's another post!
That was the outfit I would wear to the car wash.
I looked at myself in the mirror and begged Him to reconsider. I might have even casually mentioned something about going to jail.
He did agree that maybe it was exposing too much and suggested that He might find a different top.
Get undressed and get in the bed.
I asked if I could put my robe on first and take the dogs out for the night. He followed me outside and stood with me. He offered a choice, or compromise so to speak. Who knows...He may have been planning that all along. ugggg...mind games!
He would allow me to go to the car wash in something more appropriate...if I told Him a story while stroking Him with my hands AND the story had to be "good enough". If it wasn't, I would be wearing the original outfit.
Why was He pushing so many of my limits in one night?!
I won't say that I hate telling stories as much as public humiliation but I certainly don't like having to come up with them. Who knows why telling stories is so difficult for me. Maybe it's a bit of shyness or fear that He will find my story is uninspiring. I'll be the first to admit, I my brain is much more analytical and somewhat lacks in the imagination department.
I mean how many different ways can you be kidnapped and used over and over again by multiple people?
But that's the scenario that turns Him on, so I stick with it.
We started with me lying close to the edge of the bed, on my back. He was standing up beside me so that I had full access to stroke His cock. At first, I had trouble deciding on the setting of the story, but with a little direction from Him, I was able to get started.
Even though He wasn't using me in the way I had hoped, He did have a new little twist for our story telling time. He was using the Magic Wand on me and I certainly didn't mind that! It was a little distracting though. As my kidnapper was cutting my shirt off and pulling my nipples, Master could tell I was getting worked up so He gave me permission to cum and I actually enjoyed a rather intense orgasm.
Unfortunately, for Him, right after I got mine, we were interrupted by a little one knocking on the door. It was close to 2 am before we got her back to sleep but I finally had a chance to finish my story for Him. Judging by the large load He deposited in my mouth, the story was "good enough".
Yay me!! He actually complimented several parts of my story :o
So, even though it wasn't really the evening I had hoped for, it made me feel better to hear Him admit later that it wasn't really the evening He had planned. We certainly made up for it the next morning, but that's another post!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Resolutions
I hope everyone celebrated the start to the New Year in whatever way made you happy. We enjoyed a night out to dinner and a movie without the kids. There were no end of the year fireworks except the ones going off outside in the neighborhood but that's ok. After looking at the list of "resolutions" Master handed me at dinner, I was thankful for a night of vanilla to prepare for what starts today.
Personally, I don't believe in making resolutions. If I am convicted enough to do something or change something about myself, I feel that is something I can do anytime of the year. And quite honestly, some of the things on this list I don't even want to do. So that would not make them resolutions but "tasks" rather. Anyway, I am arguing semantics that aren't really important. What's important is now I have certain expectations on top of my already established ones.
2014 "Resolutions"
1) Post a photo on Fet once a week (pose of His choosing)
2) Wear red everyday while on my period (so He knows when I am available and when I am not)
3) Everyday that I am not on my period, I must keep something in my pussy all day
4) Every Friday and Saturday night, I must wear the butterfly vibrator while I sleep (or apparently try to sleep)
5) There will be 3-15 VERY intense weekend training sessions, designed to break me down and build me up over the coming year.
6) Join a gym and train there consistently.
7) During the warmer months, maintain a tan, spray or sun doesn't matter.
8) Once a week, I will bring Master something to spank me with. I am to kneel in front of Him with the implement extended and ask me to thoroughly punish my ass, understanding that I will be shown little mercy once He begins. He may choose to dismiss me without punishment but either way I am to immediately go masturbate to orgasm afterwards and let Him know when I am done.
9) Same as #6 except this time I am to ask for my whore's pussy to be spanked, understanding that I will be tied down with my legs pulled back towards my head and I will be shown little mercy once He begins. Again, He may choose not to spank me but either way I am to immediately go masturbate to orgasm afterwards and let Him know when I am done.
10) This one I would rather keep private for the time being
11) Wash the cars in short-shorts and a light color tube top this summer, no matter who is around.
12) Reach out and begin cultivating friendships with other women and try to meet with them once a month
13) Get back to attending local munches
Some of these aren't so bad, but some of them I really don't look forward to. Luckily, I just clarified with Him that these are to begin the first full week of January. So I have a small reprieve until Monday!
Personally, I don't believe in making resolutions. If I am convicted enough to do something or change something about myself, I feel that is something I can do anytime of the year. And quite honestly, some of the things on this list I don't even want to do. So that would not make them resolutions but "tasks" rather. Anyway, I am arguing semantics that aren't really important. What's important is now I have certain expectations on top of my already established ones.
1) Post a photo on Fet once a week (pose of His choosing)
2) Wear red everyday while on my period (so He knows when I am available and when I am not)
3) Everyday that I am not on my period, I must keep something in my pussy all day
4) Every Friday and Saturday night, I must wear the butterfly vibrator while I sleep (or apparently try to sleep)
5) There will be 3-15 VERY intense weekend training sessions, designed to break me down and build me up over the coming year.
6) Join a gym and train there consistently.
7) During the warmer months, maintain a tan, spray or sun doesn't matter.
8) Once a week, I will bring Master something to spank me with. I am to kneel in front of Him with the implement extended and ask me to thoroughly punish my ass, understanding that I will be shown little mercy once He begins. He may choose to dismiss me without punishment but either way I am to immediately go masturbate to orgasm afterwards and let Him know when I am done.
9) Same as #6 except this time I am to ask for my whore's pussy to be spanked, understanding that I will be tied down with my legs pulled back towards my head and I will be shown little mercy once He begins. Again, He may choose not to spank me but either way I am to immediately go masturbate to orgasm afterwards and let Him know when I am done.
10) This one I would rather keep private for the time being
.jpg) |
| OK...so maybe I am not perfect:) |
 |
| Won't the neighbors be thrilled! |
13) Get back to attending local munches
Some of these aren't so bad, but some of them I really don't look forward to. Luckily, I just clarified with Him that these are to begin the first full week of January. So I have a small reprieve until Monday!
 |
| If it could only be this simple...:) Wishing you all a Happy and Kinky New Year! |
Monday, November 11, 2013
Push it to the Limit
A couple weeks back, it seemed that my new experience...
The Note
The Knock
The Slut
The Reclaiming
...sparked a bit of conversation about pushing limits. The whole experience, from being on display nude and in a bondage situation, being played with in front of someone else, and orally serving another man in front of my Master, was all new territory for us both. But pushing limits is definitely a touchy subject and can be a double edged sword. It has the potential to bring Dom and sub closer or if not handled properly, can backfire in an instant.
I want to back up a little and explain a little about my own personal limits. When we started down this path, I knew that He would be training me to be His slave and at His request, I agreed to keep a completely open mind. Yes, there were plenty of things that made me uncomfortable. Hell, even being tied up made me uncomfortable. But surrendering completely to Him meant that I had to trust the limits He established for us. Setting my own limits, meant trusting my own judgement over His, therefore, I would in essence still be holding an element of control.
We do have a very short section in our contract dedicated to limits. Things like branding, cutting, scarring, and deprivation of oxygen were hard limits even for Him. I did insist on one thing to be added which I felt may be a physical trigger but have since learned that wasn't the case.
Admittedly, I was quite inexperienced in the realm of M/s, bdsm, and kink and I really didn't take the initiative to learn before making the commitment. During the last year and a half, many times after a scene I have thought "WOW! Had I known He was going to try that, I would have wanted it added to my limits". But on the other hand, my inexperience and lack of research really did keep my mind open and in the end I have found a deeper trust in my Master and enjoyed things I would have never considered before. Not that I am recommending this philosophy, it's just the way it worked out for me.
If you are in an newer relationship, particularly a D/s or bdsm relationship, the other person isn't going to know every intricate detail of your likes/dislikes, and more importantly your potential triggers. I would think in this situation, it's very important that you have a voice when setting limits. Then later down the road you can renegotiate once you trust that this person has your best interest at heart.
I do firmly believe that discussion should take place before pushing any limits, but most particularly hard limits. It is expected that a Dom will push a soft limit when they feel you might be ready but a hard limit warrants discussion and consent to me.
So, how do you know when you are ready to re-evaluate your hard limit?
Allowing someone to push your limits is really all about trust. But no matter how much you trust someone, you may find there are some limits which are never meant to be pushed, particularly if you fear a significant personal negative reaction or loss of well being. You have to be confident, regardless of whether you end up enjoying the experience or not, that you can handle the outcome and if you can't be sure, then you owe it to yourself to stand by the limits you established.
But the fact of the matter is that limits can and do change over time. Many times, the limiting factor is simply fear of the unknown. Once you experience it, you realize, oh that wasn't a big deal. Then a year down the road, when you love it more than anything, you wonder why on earth that was ever a limit.
As you gain more experience and find more confidence within yourself, it is natural to want to explore boundaries. A good Dom will also find ways to challenge you to explore your limits. He shouldn't cross the line, because this may cause an irreparable breach in trust, but He may skirt the edge a little testing the waters until you are ready. Maybe...just maybe...the idea of something will excite you when it didn't before. This...is your mind opening to new possibilities.
Even though I find myself in a situation where the only thing the defines my boundaries are when He has reached His, He still understands where my fears or insecurities lie. He knows when to push and when not to push. But some of that is because we have been together so long. We have a marriage and a family that have to be considered so He wouldn't make a decision that would jeopardize all that we have. Where there may be an issue of how I may handle something in particular, He works me there in baby steps, never pushing too hard or too fast.
He has also spent years learning about my fantasies...from the simple to the deepest and darkest. While I am deathly afraid of experiencing certain things, I never considered them hard limits and from the beginning, I understood He may eventually begin the slow process of bringing those fantasies to life.
Well, I have gone on and on much longer than I had planned to but the most important thing to remember is that pushing limits all comes down to one thing and that is trust.
Trust in yourself to know when you are ready for limits to be pushed and trust in your Dom to be there as your support and to push your limits without pushing your buttons.
The Note
The Knock
The Slut
The Reclaiming
...sparked a bit of conversation about pushing limits. The whole experience, from being on display nude and in a bondage situation, being played with in front of someone else, and orally serving another man in front of my Master, was all new territory for us both. But pushing limits is definitely a touchy subject and can be a double edged sword. It has the potential to bring Dom and sub closer or if not handled properly, can backfire in an instant.
I want to back up a little and explain a little about my own personal limits. When we started down this path, I knew that He would be training me to be His slave and at His request, I agreed to keep a completely open mind. Yes, there were plenty of things that made me uncomfortable. Hell, even being tied up made me uncomfortable. But surrendering completely to Him meant that I had to trust the limits He established for us. Setting my own limits, meant trusting my own judgement over His, therefore, I would in essence still be holding an element of control.
We do have a very short section in our contract dedicated to limits. Things like branding, cutting, scarring, and deprivation of oxygen were hard limits even for Him. I did insist on one thing to be added which I felt may be a physical trigger but have since learned that wasn't the case.
Admittedly, I was quite inexperienced in the realm of M/s, bdsm, and kink and I really didn't take the initiative to learn before making the commitment. During the last year and a half, many times after a scene I have thought "WOW! Had I known He was going to try that, I would have wanted it added to my limits". But on the other hand, my inexperience and lack of research really did keep my mind open and in the end I have found a deeper trust in my Master and enjoyed things I would have never considered before. Not that I am recommending this philosophy, it's just the way it worked out for me.
If you are in an newer relationship, particularly a D/s or bdsm relationship, the other person isn't going to know every intricate detail of your likes/dislikes, and more importantly your potential triggers. I would think in this situation, it's very important that you have a voice when setting limits. Then later down the road you can renegotiate once you trust that this person has your best interest at heart.
I do firmly believe that discussion should take place before pushing any limits, but most particularly hard limits. It is expected that a Dom will push a soft limit when they feel you might be ready but a hard limit warrants discussion and consent to me.
So, how do you know when you are ready to re-evaluate your hard limit?
Allowing someone to push your limits is really all about trust. But no matter how much you trust someone, you may find there are some limits which are never meant to be pushed, particularly if you fear a significant personal negative reaction or loss of well being. You have to be confident, regardless of whether you end up enjoying the experience or not, that you can handle the outcome and if you can't be sure, then you owe it to yourself to stand by the limits you established.
But the fact of the matter is that limits can and do change over time. Many times, the limiting factor is simply fear of the unknown. Once you experience it, you realize, oh that wasn't a big deal. Then a year down the road, when you love it more than anything, you wonder why on earth that was ever a limit.
As you gain more experience and find more confidence within yourself, it is natural to want to explore boundaries. A good Dom will also find ways to challenge you to explore your limits. He shouldn't cross the line, because this may cause an irreparable breach in trust, but He may skirt the edge a little testing the waters until you are ready. Maybe...just maybe...the idea of something will excite you when it didn't before. This...is your mind opening to new possibilities.
Even though I find myself in a situation where the only thing the defines my boundaries are when He has reached His, He still understands where my fears or insecurities lie. He knows when to push and when not to push. But some of that is because we have been together so long. We have a marriage and a family that have to be considered so He wouldn't make a decision that would jeopardize all that we have. Where there may be an issue of how I may handle something in particular, He works me there in baby steps, never pushing too hard or too fast.
He has also spent years learning about my fantasies...from the simple to the deepest and darkest. While I am deathly afraid of experiencing certain things, I never considered them hard limits and from the beginning, I understood He may eventually begin the slow process of bringing those fantasies to life.
Well, I have gone on and on much longer than I had planned to but the most important thing to remember is that pushing limits all comes down to one thing and that is trust.
Trust in yourself to know when you are ready for limits to be pushed and trust in your Dom to be there as your support and to push your limits without pushing your buttons.
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