My Pussy Doesn't Betray Me...She's Just Stupid

And here all these years, I've been thinking it was some deep-rooted psychological phenomenon.

Well, last night I finally figured it all out as I was straddling Heron, riding his cock. I couldn't help but notice she was a bit dry which is weird because that's not typically an issue.

Anyways, a few minutes go by and I lean over, pressing my body up against him so that we are face to face. He'd been relatively quiet up until that point but then he asked me (in ya know..THAT voice), "Are you ready to be punished this weekend?".

Whoooaaaa! Hold the phone...What the heck just happened here?

My body froze and I began tallying a mental list of what I might have done or might not have done.
Beginning to realize the list is perhaps just a bit longer than I thought, I also realize something else as soon as I resume rocking my hips.

She is now getting EXTREMELY squishy down there.

DAMN HER!

Please believe me when I say...I REALLY don't like punishment of any kind. That whole disappointment in myself is a real bitch and I'm usually crying like a little kid before it even starts.
So back to the fucking and his list of the intended consequences.

"You know what the punishment is when you forget the coat hangers, right?"
"Yes, Sir". SQUISH

"Do you think if I punish your ass, you will remember next time?"
"Yes, Sir". SQUISH...SQUISH

"Do you think if I punish your tits, you will remember next time?"
"Yes, Sir". OH GOD, why is she making this worse for me??

"Do you think if I punish your cunt, you will remember next time"
whimpering
"Yes, Sir". By now, he must feel like he's fucking a mop bucket. These sounds are so embarrassing

Of course, he couldn't help but point out her reaction to his threats which didn't help matters at all.
That's when it all occurred to me. It's not that she is betraying me, giving away some dark dirty secret that deep down I actually enjoy punishment.

She's just THAT damn stupid. Without understanding a single word, she hears that tone in his voice, and the poor little thing just gushes.

Think of it like talking to your dog. You can tell your little pooch that he's the filthiest most vile creature in the world for eating the crotch out of your most expensive panties and that you are going enjoy killing his sorry ass.

BUT say it with a sweet voice, and he just looks at you so lovingly, with ears perked and tail wagging. Why...because he doesn't understand a damn word you just said. He's just happy to have your attention.

So there you have it. Apparently my pussy is an attention whore with a really low IQ.

"Sock" It to Me

It's been quite a while since I felt the sting of Heron's disappointment and the humiliation of being punished. 

Thankfully, punishments are rare these days.  Typically for us, a stern warning here and there goes a long way towards righting the ship that is beginning to steer off course.      

But there was this one thing...

You know how inevitably, one sock out of a pair always gets lost in the laundry? 

Somehow between the washer and dryer one of them just...disappears!

Well, we have been experiencing a slightly different phenomenon in our house but still relating to socks.  It's more like one never makes it to the laundry. Almost every time single time I scoop up dirty clothes, I manage to leave ONE sock behind on the floor.  And even though I feel like I double check myself all the time, it has continued to happen.

Heron has been quite patient with it, sometimes even joking about how it's now like my little "signature".  But I also knew the underlying message, in a gently way of course, was to correct the problem. 

Well, I was out with my daughter the other day when I received a text message from Him with this picture attached.

And the words...SOMEONE IS IN TROUBLE.

Now the last couple of months, Heron has been dealing with a medical issue which means life for the most part has been, well just that...life.  He ended up having minor surgery just a little over a month ago and I am happy to say He has recovered nicely.   

But that text message definitely signaled that He was getting back on the horse and ready to deal with any lack of focus on my part.

It was several days before He actually had the time to follow through on any punishment.  And like a kid, I tried extra hard those few days, hoping He might put it out of His mind. 

Nope...that didn't happen. 

The other night He told me it was time to deal with some business.  He ordered me to remove all my clothes and kneel in the middle of the bedroom floor.

Nothing had even happened yet and tears were already welling up in my eyes. As I knelt there, looking at the floor, He asked me if I understood why I was being punished.  I understood perfectly.  Didn't stop me from being angry and disappointed.   

I felt sure that my punishment would come in the form of a paddling but Heron always does know how to surprise me. 

As I knelt there, He walked away for a moment and returned with a sock.  Yes, one of His dirty socks!

Bet you can guess where that sock went!

If you guessed in my mouth, well then, you would be correct.

As He sat back on the chest at the end of our bed and folded His arms, I felt the increasing weight of His stare as I continued to keep my eyes on the floor.  Tears rolled down my cheeks and my mouth was humiliatingly full of smelly dirty sock.  And while I couldn't stand that my actions had made this necessary, I could feel the anger and disappointment fading away and the humility seeping back into my soul.  

Inititation of the Cum Slut

Continued from Into the Lion(ess)'s Den: This slave's account of being loaned for the weekend... 

Walking naked back down the steps to the car to retrieve her belongings, she realized just how quickly the tone was set. But it wasn't until dinner that she fully appreciated how intense this experience was going to be.
 
Dinner was planned with some friends of the Mistress staying at the condo just below and everyone was saying their hello's when someone asked the slave's name.  The Mistress quickly answered, "This is cum slut".  The woman seemed a bit amused at first but then, seriously, asked for her real name. The Mistress didn't give an inch.  And even when the slave was questioned directly, she followed the Mistress's lead and answered the same way.
 
Making her way to the patio, the Mistress took a seat, with the slave following right along behind.  Gingerly, she knelt down on the rough concrete beside the chair, trying carefully not to scrape herself while shifting around to get comfortable.  Thankfully, it wasn't long before she was instructed to find a couple wash cloths to protect her knees.

The Mistress herself wasn't eating but did ask the slave if she would like something.  Her stomach had been in knots all day but was also entirely empty.  Suspecting she might need her strength, she swallowed the lump in her throat and squeaked out the words "Yes, Ma'am".

She was to make a plate and bring it to the Mistress, but she had to crawl both to the kitchen and back.  Again, she tried to be careful as to not scrape her knees on the concrete and she was pretty sure people were watching and talking as she crawled away, but she tried to remain focused on her task and being gracious to those that had prepared the meal.

Crawling back, one hand on the floor and the other holding the plate, she handed the plate to Mistress.  "Did you make it how you would like it?". She again answered "Yes, Ma'am.

The Mistress set the plate down on the ground, instructing her to place her hands on either side of the plate and eat.  She had been made to eat and drink on the ground like a dog before, but never in front of anyone had she been humiliated in such a way.  Mostly people carried on conversation as if she wasn't there.  Sometimes people did talk to her but anytime a compliment was offered, like how well she was using her tongue to help bring the food into her mouth, she made sure to show her appreciation by kissing that person's foot.

After her initial arrival that evening, it had not taken long for her to receive her first punishment for unintentionally breaking this rule.  She had been put over the Mistress's knee and given five very hard swats with the sole of Mistress's sandal. Almost instantly, tears had welled in her eyes but she fought them back.  Not only was it extremely painful, but it was the first time she had ever been punished in front of people.  She felt not only did her failure let the Mistress down, but also her Master.
   
Slowly but surely she was able to clean her plate.  Eating a burrito without any hands is a bit tricky but she was extremely was glad to be able to do it with a bit of grace and skill.

After taking her plate back to the kitchen, the Mistress had more plans for her and she quickly became a bit of entertainment.

Crawling to the center of the room, she was instructed to kneel and then lay back, touching her head to the floor and keeping her legs bent up underneath her.  She was completely exposed as this position forced her body into a natural arch.  Several people stood around watching as Mistress told her to touch herself.  At that moment, she wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.  All kinds of thoughts tried to flow through her mind because, again, this was something she had never done before.  But rather than allow her mind to run away with her, she simply closed her eyes, shutting out everything, and went on auto-pilot.

As she rubbed circles around her clit, she heard the Mistress encouraging her to push her fingers to play with her hole and even probe further inside.  The position was incredibly stressful and didn't allow her the same reach as it would if her legs were out from under her.  She could then hear the Mistress talking to one of the men, who she didn't find out until later was also a submissive.  He was being offered the opportunity to touch the cum slut.  The slave didn't hear him answer but knew all too well what was coming.

His fingers probed her opening and the Mistress demanded to know if it was wet.  He answered that it was.   The Mistress then asked if wanted his cock sucked.  The cum slut was made to suck his fingers clean before sitting up and being presented with his cock.  She took it in her mouth, squeezed her eyes closed even harder, and knew that all eyes in the room were on them.

Mistress taunted him asking if he wanted to cum and when he said yes, she told the slave to lay back again.  He stroked himself as he watched her resume playing with her pussy, finally spilling his pleasure on her body.

Allowed to get up and go clean herself off in the bathroom, she happened to catch a glimpse at a clock. It was only 8:00.  She had only just arrived two short hours earlier and was in shock by all that had already happened.  She was afraid to imagine what else the rest of the night would hold...

Lunch Breaks

The last month or so with, all the new things going on, I have tried very hard to remember that my responsibilities to Heron come first and foremost.  He's been very patient and understanding of the times that I am somewhat distracted but I have also tried extra hard to make sure that I am not letting any of my duties here at home slide.

He's been keeping track and during the month of April, his only complaint...I had forgotten to shine his shoes several weeks in a row.  So, I knew I was due a punishment for that...just didn't know when to expect it.

Tuesday morning, Heron called me at work and asked me to come see him at lunch.  As soon as I arrived at His office, He closed the door behind me and wasted no time in walking around from behind His desk to where I was standing.  He quickly lifted my shirt over my head, took off my bra, and dropped my pants and panties until they were nothing but a pile covering my high heels.

Backing me up against the door, He removed the suit jacket on the coat hook.  Apparently, He was already prepared with one of His ties, fashioned into handcuffs. He slid them over my wrists, tightening each side and then pulled my arms up over my head, looping the middle part of the tie over the hook.

Hanging there with my nose pressed against the door, I couldn't tell what punishment implement He was holding and at first. He only teased my body.  Pressing Himself up against me, I could feel the bulge already forming in His pants and I pushed back against Him with my ass just to torment Him in return.  His breath danced on my neck as he played with my pussy and asked if I knew what I was being punished for.

He finally backed up and said that I would get three licks with the cable cord, one for each week I had forgotten His shoes.  He also reminded me to be quiet as there were people in offices on either side of us.

It stung but I was thankful for it being only 3 licks.  Apparently, this was meant to be more of a "reminder" than a true punishment. It was over before I knew it and He turned me around, with my arms still secured high above my head.  He continued tormenting and teasing my body, which was perhaps the greatest punishment of all when He abruptly stopped and told me to get dressed so we could eat our lunch.    

Some Like it Hot

Punishment finally came last night. So today, we start with a clean slate.  Standing in the middle of the bedroom, with my pants down to my ankles, and my fingers laced together behind my head, He  delivered 5 quick, but stinging, strikes with the thin bamboo cane across my backside.  One swat for each minor infraction accumulated over the past several weeks.  It wasn't the harsh punishment I had been dreading by any means. 

Afterwards, He told me to pull my pants back up and decided we were going to make use of the warm temperatures and go for a late evening walk.  It was going to be a quick walk but one of the kids wanted milk so we decided to race the clock and see if we could make it to the grocery store before they closed.

What started out as a quick walk ended up being four miles round-trip and took nearly an hour.  With Heron's extended illness, my monthly visitor, and our recent trip, it had been over 3 weeks since He had used anything other than my mouth and by the time we got home and hopped in the shower, I had already begun resigning myself to being patient yet another day.  I figured after the oral services He received the previous night and again earlier yesterday morning, He might not be in the mood for any more physical activity, particularly after the walk.

Oh, but how wrong I was.  It's amazing how much more energy we have when work isn't stressing and draining us!!

Standing beside the bed, He slowly removed my clothes and pushed me back down onto the bed.  Tweaking each of my nipples, He added clothespins to each and began rubbing His hands all over my body, my flesh responding with chill bumps everywhere He touched.  Finally, brushing across my clit, He began massaging it first with His fingers and then with the soft, warmth of His tongue.  His right hand reached up and pinned me to the bed by my throat.   

I was a hot mess already and it wasn't long before I could feels the waves of my pleasure beginning to build but He abruptly stopped, asking if I had any wife-beater tank tops.  I couldn't for the life of me figure out why He would need one, but I pointed to my sock and underwear drawer.  He pulled one out and Had me stand so He could put it on me.  Then, He resumed working me with His tongue until I was close to the edge yet again.

And again stopped.  This time, He reached into the bedside drawer, pulling out the capsaicin cream.  Rolling the shirt up, He rubbed a finger-full of cream around each of my exposed nipples and then pulled the skin-tight shirt back down, massaging my nipples through the cloth.  The added friction instantly increased the intensity of the burn.  He picked the clothespins back up and carefully placed them on the very tips of my nipples through the outside of the shirt.  I couldn't tell which hurt worse, the burn or the pinch but I was squirming and yelping until He ordered me to be quiet and put my arms out spread-eagle.

Trying to relax and breath through it, I stilled myself while He pulled my lower body to the edge of the bed and pushed His already hard cock into the wetness between my legs.  All the sensations melded into nothing but pleasure at that point and there was only heat building everywhere in my body. He butterflied my legs in between us as He continued thrusting in and out while massaging my clit with His fingers.

The intensity of the orgasm that was building was mind-blowing and I grabbed a handful of the sheets, just as I asked permission to cum.  As soon as He granted permission, the explosion began rocking through my body.  I was nearly arching off the bed and my muscles clenched so hard...that I pushed Him right out of me!!

Bet you didn't see that one coming?! (haha...pun intended)

Well, neither did I!  My pussy continued contracting but with nothing there, I guess it's what you would call the female version of a ruined orgasm.  I could have just cried.  He couldn't even force Himself back in. It was sealed up like Fort Knox down there.  After waiting over 3 weeks, I couldn't believe it went so wrong at the last minute.

Thankfully, He was feeling generous and kept going allowing me long enough to build up to another, this time climbing on top of me so I couldn't push Him out.  It's pretty unusual that I am able to achieve two during sex, but I guess that's the beauty of having gone without for a while.  My body was no where near done and the second was just as intense, if not more so!  

By this point, I had almost forgotten about the cream on my nipples.  He had long since taken the clothespins off and the burn had somewhat subsided.  But He laid down on His back and told me to ride Him.  And while doing so, He wanted to watch me rubbing and pinching my nipples through the shirt, again activating the heat in the cream. Watching me bring discomfort to myself drove Him to His own release.

What a great night!  I'm so giddy today...



  

Crawling Back to You

The quick little beach get away was wonderful.  It's so relaxing putting your feet in the sand and looking out over a beautiful sea of emerald green waves, but my favorite is just walking on the beach. I'm not a get-in-the-water kind of person though, especially this time of year...just too darn cold.  But I do love to be there.  It's just soothing to the soul. 

But yesterday, it was time to come home and Heron and I were definitely ready.  We had plenty of good times and great food and of course the kids wanted to stay longer.  But after several days of being with them 24/7, we were ready to resume some normalcy.

With everyone worn out, the ride home was extremely quiet.  The kids plugged into their music and we just enjoyed the peace.  Heron did make a point of reminding me that now He is feeling better, I do have a punishment awaiting for the missed chores several weeks back and a few other miscellaneous things.  So, I mulled over that for a while.  I don't quite know when or what to expect it but I assume it will be before the weekend is over.  The waiting in and of itself is quite painful in my opinion.  

We got home pretty close to bed time so we unloaded the car, spent some time playing with the dogs who are always super excited that we have returned.  Finally, we were alone and He was already lying down waiting when I climbed in on my side of the bed. 

There was no doubt He expected to use my mouth so without a moment's hesitation, I crawled across the bed to His side and eagerly took my place between His legs, worshipping and sucking until He found His release.   

I love traveling but there is nothing like returning to your own home, your own bed, and all that is familiar.  
 

Randomness and Rain Dances

It's such a beautiful Saturday afternoon here where we are.  We just got home from a soccer game...so excited that our team won!  And now, I am sitting on the deck enjoying some lunch.  The youngest has already headed off for the day with some friends and the oldest is getting ready for her first ever job interview! 

Not much has been going on this past week.  I did manage to lose some focus last week and missed a couple of my usual household duties.  So, this weekend, I got smart and knocked them all out as soon as I got home from work yesterday.  Nothing like going to bed on a Friday night with chore list pretty much complete.  I do still, however, have a punishment awaiting for my oversights.  But Heron spent the week fighting the crud again so I'm sure He will make up for that when He gets better.

Can I just say that the crud didn't stop Him from enjoying a blow job last night though!!  Let's face it...there isn't much that would ever make Him miss out on that.  But I think it might have made Him sicker because instead of just being congested, He woke up in the middle of the night with a fever. I don't know why He doesn't rest until He feels better. That's what He would make me do. But I'm not the boss so if He thinks a blowjob is the miracle cure, who am I to stop Him?! 

However, I am now holding my breath hoping I don't get sick.  Not from swallowing his cum, if that's where you thought I was going with that:) 

What I am worried about is Him spitting in my mouth while fucking me several nights ago.  Spitting in my mouth...well that's one of those things that I hate to love but my body sure does give me away every time.  Of course, this all happened the very night before He started feeling under the weather.  Yeah...that shit is going to make me sick for sure.  I just know it!

Have I mentioned that one of Heron's new expectations is that He never find a kitchen towel left on the counter?  Nope, don't think I have.  Picky, right?

Well, I actually can't blame Him really.  I have this horrible habit when I'm cooking to take out a towel, wipe my hands, and lay it down.  Then I need to wipe my hands again or the counter, and I pull another towel out of the drawer. Usually, by the time I finish making dinner, I will have 3 or 4 dirty cloths laying around.

So, He is breaking me from that habit, but darn!  It's been a tough one.  I actually have been punished for it a couple times already.  I'm being very conscious about it so it's getting better but I couldn't believe my eyes yesterday when my mom walked into the kitchen, took the cloth from where it was draped over the handle of the stove, wiped her hands, and then walked over to the sink, folded it and laid it down right there on the counter.   

I almost had a stroke.  Hmmm....got to figure out a way to train everyone else in the house so that I'm not getting in trouble when it's not even my fault.  I do that enough on my own. But it's not like I can say...Hey, when you leave that on the counter, I get my ass caned.  I'll have to think of a more subtle way.  I'm certainly open to suggestions if you have any. 

Well, I should stop rambling on about random stuff and take advantage of this sunny afternoon.  Getting the cars washed was the only thing left on my list to do.  Of course, I will cry later on because we all know how getting the cars washed is apparently some kind of rain dance!

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend!!

It All Adds Up

This weekend kicked off the busy season for us.  With soccer back in full swing, we will spend the next couple months cheering on our little one from the sidelines which is always fun.  Saturday morning I had to work and then spent far too long waiting on my car to be serviced.  Older one's senior project is due in just a couple of weeks so she was working on that and while Heron tried to squeeze in a little fishing Sunday morning, there were plenty of chores that needed tending to.

But the whole weekend, there was something looming over my head.  I tried not to worry too much over it but it was there, in the forefront of my mind, especially after He asked me where I had put the bamboo.  I talked about this bamboo in a post earlier in the year.  It was something He picked up while we were out on a walk, but was still too green to use.  

It had been quite some time since He saw fit to punish me for anything.  With a very concerted effort to dot my I's and cross my T's, there have been no major infractions to speak of.  But earlier last week, Heron began casually hinting to some things He had noticed.  They were all minor, nothing He was really concerned about, but it was a firm warning that they had been duly noted and they were  beginning to add up. 

For example, it's my responsibility to keep our cars clean inside and out (but particularly the inside).  Just an FYI...white dog and dark car interiors just don't mix.  She never even rides in the car unless going to the vet, but somehow her hair gets everywhere.  For weeks, the weather just hadn't cooperated on the weekends.  So, the washing and vacuuming was...shall we say...a little inconsistent. Admittedly, the interiors could have been vacuumed regardless.

Maybe complacency was a little bit of the problem.  He had been pleased with me in so many other areas and I was often doing more than was expected.  Surely it wouldn't be a big deal if the weather wasn't cooperating enough to take care of the cars.

I tried to take care of the other little things He pointed out and then finally came the tipping point.  The air vent and ceiling fan above our bed had begun to grow dust bunnies and He'd asked me to take care of it.

Well, at what point do you think He noticed that I had forgotten?

Of course, Saturday night while He was receiving my oral pleasures.  I didn't even know what to say  and my mouth was full anyways so there wasn't really anything I could say.       

All I could think was Damn...I had been so proud of myself for remembering to clean the fan but apparently I had completely forgotten about the vent.  Doesn't even make sense that I flaked on that because they are only like two feet apart from each other. 

Nothing else was said until Sunday evening after dinner when He said to follow Him upstairs.  With very little time before we would most likely be interrupted, He told me to pull my pants down without bothering to remove them all the way.  He actually liked the look of my jeans pulled down around my ankles with my boots still on.   Standing in the middle of the room, with legs spread as wide as my pants would allow, hands laced behind my head, I waited as He walked around me with the bamboo in hand, asking me to say out loud why I was being spanked.

The first strike landed across my backside, making my legs buckle just a little.  The next four were slow, methodical even, and each one made me squirm more than the one before.  But I was reminded these were the easy ones, for the lesser infractions.  The last 10, reserved for not cleaning the vent, came with a reminder to hold my position.  They came fast, one right after the other, making it hard to catch my breath much less move. 

I was sure the angry stripes would still be there the next morning but when I looked in the mirror, they had faded.  It was weird though...the heat of the shower seemed to bring them back. Not sure if I've ever experienced that.    

So while I was a little discouraged at first, wanting to justify why I hadn't been able to do this or that, I realized that no matter how hard I think I am trying, there may still be room for improvement.

Deadlines

"Did you complete your story like you were supposed to?"

She stopped sucking only long enough to whisper "no, Sir".

"You do know that you will be punished.  You know tonight I am going to spank you and then probably spank you some more."

Now, she knew she wasn't really in trouble. She had asked for extra time to complete the story and he had been generous enough to allow two more days.  She also happens to know punishments are delivered separately from any type of sex. 

He stopped her again, with an instruction to hand Him the switch and the fly swatter, both of which always stay tucked safely between the mattress and box spring on her side of the bed for use at a moment's notice.  She scrambled out of the bed and retrieved both as He walked around the bed and stood next to her.  Taking both from her hands, He bent her over the side of the bed, spread her legs, and delivered several stinging swats with the switch.  She could feel her body responding, getting wetter and more desperate with each swat.

Her body had been screaming for His attention and affections. And it had also been far too long since feeling the sting of His implements.  He knew exactly what her body was craving and His cock was rock-hard pressing against her from behind.  With her face pressed into the mattress, she rocked up just slightly on tippy toes to make His access just a little bit easier. 

After a few thrusts, the sting of the switch again cut across her backside.  She's not one to enjoy pain just for the sake of pain, but this...this is what she really enjoys and it's not often that He spoils her in such a way.  Spankings tend to be reserved for either punishment or maintenance.  But oh how she love the dichotomy of two opposing forces when used together, the pain and the pleasure when it all melds into one.  

The switch tends to be a bit unwieldy though, especially when bodies are so close.  So He picked up the fly swatter and backed up behind her, leaving her hole aching and unfilled.  Using the metal handle end of the swatter, He gave her ten slow methodical swats.  Some of them landed across her ass, some of them traveling down to kiss the sensitive area just between her cheek and leg.  Still bent over the bed, she reached for the pillow and pulled it under her face to muffle any noise.

Each swat stung but it was deeper pain, not like the surface sting of the switch.  But the pain faded quickly as He spread her legs farther apart and worked Himself back inside. Now, the pillow  muffled a different type of sound, but only for a few moments. He pulled out again, replacing the stroke of His cock with five more strokes of the fly swatter, faster than the ones before but equally painful.  And then the relief flooded her as He filled her again.  This went on several more times before He finally told her to get up on the bed.

Her backside was on fire as He climbed on top of her, pressing her tender flesh against the bed.  But even that pain disappeared quickly.

As she laid there drifting off to sleep that night, feeling well used, sated, and content, she couldn't have been more thankful for everything He gave her that night.  And she realized something in that moment.  She may not always get what she wants, or even what she think she needs...

But that's part of what makes her truly appreciate the times that she does.
 

Tricks of the Mind

Daddy came downstairs yesterday morning, greeting me in the kitchen and drawing me in with kiss that made me melt just a little. He told me that I needed to plan on getting the grocery shopping done early, while He was finishing up school work and then be prepared for a paddling in the afternoon.

I wasn't sure if this was one of those...I just want to paddle you moods or if I had done something wrong because there is quite a difference.

He grinned and said "you know exactly what you did".

My mind started racing.  I'm quite sure at any given time, there's something I've done wrong, or some chore that didn't get completed, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was this time.

I shook my head and told Him that I didn't know.  He gave me a hint, telling me it was something I mumbled after getting up the previous night to put my pajamas on.   

Nope...still doesn't ring a bell.

I'll tell you the first couple of words then. " That wasn't..."

Huh??

Ok..the next word  "That wasn't...what..."

I was like a deer in headlights and had no idea what He was talking about.  And then He finished the sentence.

You said, "That wasn't what I was expecting."

Now, I did come to bed that night without any clothes on, hinting that my monthly visitor had vacated the premises.

And I was being pretty forward, rubbing my body all over His legs as I used my mouth on Him, hinting that I was SUPER horny.

Of course, since I was rubbing my nipples on Him, He thought they deserved some special attention and sent me to get the Young's forceps. 

As I continued to suck, He took turns on each of my nipples, pinching, pulling, and tugging until my whimpering got on His nerves.  He then told me to lick and stroke His balls, until He was ready for my mouth to finish Him off.

So afterwards as He lay there basking in His glory, I got up to get my clothes from the dresser and that's when He thought He heard me say "well, that's wasn't what I was expecting".

I might not have learned much, but I have certainly learned not to say THAT!  Think it...ok...I might be guilty. But I wouldn't say it out loud.

Yikes!  Maybe he can actually read my mind!  Can you get in trouble for that??

After quite a bit of convincing, He did believe me.  But I have no idea what I said that He misheard because I honestly don't remember saying anything.  I suggested that perhaps   His guilty conscience was speaking to Him.

Yeah, He wasn't buying that one!!  

Have I Made My Point?

Friday night, as I was enjoying the taste and feel of Him on my lips, He began questioning me about the bathroom floor. There wasn't much I could say except to admit that I hadn't cleaned it.  It wasn't that I had been neglectful or forgetful.  I just hadn't done it yet that day. But it was too late.  He had already seen it and taken care of it Himself.   
 
He informed me that the next day I would be cleaning it, every inch of it, with my tongue.  AND I would do so completely naked and lying flat on my stomach on the cold tile.

Oh, this didn't sit well with me.  I continued working to please Him with my mouth but my mind was reeling.  I don't know what bothered me more, the form of punishment or the timing of it as we were supposed to most of Saturday alone together. 

Why did He put me off tonight, with promises of play tomorrow, only then to decide to punish me? 

After He found His relief and lay drifting off to sleep, I was left even more frustrated and upset with questions swirling around in my head. When I tried to ask Him something specific related to this punishment, He just said we would talk about it the next day.  Needless to say, it took me quite a while to fall asleep.

Of course, my unresolved feelings carried over into the next morning and He demanded to know what was wrong.  I didn't say much other than it had to do with the punishment. He chuckled a little and asked again if I had cleaned the floor.  I just shook my head no and stared out the car window.

After little one's soccer game, we shuttled her off to her cousins and decided to go grocery shopping.  The whole morning was so tense and was certainly not shaping up to be the day alone that I had hoped for. At one point, I thought maybe I had pissed Him off but He said no, only that He was hungry. 

He hadn't mentioned the punishment again so after we ate some lunch, I asked if I could please go ahead and get it out of the way so that I could stop worrying about it.  Our bathroom is big enough, I just knew it was going to take me every bit of the last four hours that we had alone anyways.

Of course. It's your punishment.  There's nothing stopping you.  

In my mind, I imagined myself stomping all the the way upstairs like a petulant little child and slamming the door.  Of course, I didn't because that would have meant a whole lot more trouble. I couldn't find it in me to handle this one with much grace apparently. 

I moved the bathmats off the floor, then removed my clothes and got a washcloth, just in case I needed to wipe my tongue off.  I didn't know if He would have approved of the washcloth but He hadn't specifically said not to use one:)

Staring down at the white tile, feeling it's cold against my flesh,  I fought the urge to cry.  It took a while before I actually found the courage to make myself take that first lick.  When I finally did, there was a pretty overwhelming urge to gag.  The toilet is in it 's own little closet and I was no where close to it but I still found myself hoping that I would somehow get sick. Maybe that would make Him feel bad.

Yeah...I did say I wasn't handling this one with much grace, didn't I? 

Then, I just decided the only way to get done was to just blocked out all the crap floating around in my head.  I had only cleaned about 12 tiles (each one about 6 inches by 6 inches) when He opened the door and stood there...

Watching...

Making me very uncomfortable and more humiliated than I already felt, if that was even possible.     

Please go away, I tried to tell Him.

No, I actually like watching you like this.

I continued licking the floor as He came over and crouched down pushing His fingers between my legs.

That's what I thought!

He stood back up and, after delivering a few strikes to my ass with the new leather strap, told me to get up and lay on the bed.   

Have I made my point or do I need to make you clean the rest of the floor?

Yes, Sir...you made your point.

And just like that, punishment was over and you better believe I was pretty thankful.  In fact, my giddiness almost got me in trouble again.  Thankfully, I keep my bathroom pretty clean.  I only randomly picked stuff out of my mouth for about an hour. 

For Your Pleasure

It was time to pay the piper so to speak.  I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, that I had inadvertently neglected some of my chores.  To be more specific, I had not been washing the cars and had not been as diligent as I should about the toilets.

Just to clarify, the cars...well there isn't much I can say except that there never seemed to be enough time and if there was, the weather seemed to be gloomy.  Honestly though, Daddy had been pretty lenient on that and I probably took a little advantage.  Now the toilets...well that was a matter of failed delegation on my part.  Let's just say, you better believe those girls of mine are not going to get me in trouble again.

So punishment came.  I entered the closet, stood facing the wall in display position and took my swift twenty licks of the paddle, not fun ones by any stretch of the imagination.  My cheeks wore the red rounded imprint of the paddle for hours. 

But also in the closet was a strange contraption.  In reality, it was a microphone stand he rigged for kinky purposes.  I don't know how easy it will be to picture in your mind but it stood a little taller than myself  and looked like a large T.  Daddy had looped twine around each arm the T and left a couple feet of twine hanging on both the front side and back side.

My eyes couldn't help but travel to the two ends of twine where the clover clamps were fastened.  

The look of THAT is pretty scary!

Oh, there's nothing to be scared of.

Hmmm...me thinks differently...

As I remained facing the wall of the closet, with my hands clasped behind my back, He positioned the stand right up behind me and brought one of the pieces of twine, with attached clover clamp, down over my shoulder and attached it upside down to my nipple.  Then did the same for my left nipple.  Obviously, I wondered what he would do with the two ends of twine still dangling over the back side of the stand.

Well, that was answered soon enough when I heard the jingle of weights. I tried to remind myself to  to breathe as the twine grew taunt and the full force of gravity pulled down from behind me, pulling  my nipples upwards. I think it's pretty fair to say this was somewhat uncomfortable!

Daddy walked around to my side and placed a ping pong ball against the wall.  He told me to lean forward, my own body weight now also pulling against the clamps, until my nose could hold the ball in place.

I thought He would just have me hold this for a few minutes.  But as He walked out of the closet, He reminded me that the ball BETTER NOT FALL and He would be back to check on me periodically during His workout....and add weight each time He returned.  Gulp

I stood there thinking is this really happening?

Then I heard the sound of the elliptical start up and the squeaking sound it makes while someone is on it and I had my answer.

Yep...it sure is.  I didn't know whether to be upset or think it was hot.   

At first, all I could think about was how my nipples felt like they were on fire and I tried so hard not to move a muscle.  But I also thought how silly I must look with this darn ball.  Eventually, my mind kind of wandered, focusing less on the pain, and more on why I was in this situation in the first place. I thought about how I would try harder and not take any of my chores for granted. 

I had no way to count the time but I figured it was somewhere around 5 minutes when I heard the elliptical stop.  Maybe He was just testing me and not going to put on more weight.  Maybe He was coming in to let me loose.

Nope!  That was not the case. 

At this point, the pain was pretty steady, but tolerable, and actually, I barely felt the additional weight.  I tried to ask Him how much longer and was disappointed when He ignored me and returned to His workout.  While He was gone this time, I thought more about the stupid little ball in front of me.  Toying with it, rolling it around just a little but not enough to make it fall.

Again no words when spoken when He returned, only the rattle of more weight and I don't remember feeling much at that point, in fact, I was getting pretty sleepy.  There were no thoughts, just waiting.

This time when He returned, He spoke.  It was gruff as He told me to back up and turn around.  I winced as the clovers pulled against the direction I was moving so He moved the stand with me.  Once He had direct access to my nipples, He took the ball and shoved it between my teeth.  This ended up being a really good idea because when those clovers came off it helped muffle my screams and sobs.  Wow...did that extra weight make it so terribly painful as they blood rushed back in.

Immediately, He plunged His hand down between my legs...

That's what I thought...

You can stop that crying.

The spanking was your punishment...

The last 20 minutes has been for your pleasure.  

And here I thought the whole thing was punishment!

Digging it Deeper

One of these days I am going to learn!

Maybe? 

OK...on second thought...probably not.

But I do try.

The other night as I was going to bed, I walked into the office where Daddy was working and asked if He was coming to bed or if He intended to keep working. 

He thought for a few seconds but then decided to send me on to bed. However, before I walked out of the room, He handed me a bill and said that it needed to be taken care first thing the next morning. 

Since I was already upstairs, I carried it into the bedroom and laid it down on the dresser.

You already see where this is going, don't you?
 

Actually, I already found out the next is really your eyesight!

What makes this whole story even worse is that when I got into bed, I thought...Self, you should really not be lazy.  Just go ahead and take that downstairs and put it in your purse because you are going to FORGET it.  Self said "nah...we'll be extra sure to remember in the morning."

Well, just as I suspected, I was sitting at my desk about mid-morning when it hit me. 

Oh gosh...I forgot!!

No, problem though.  I would just wait for one of the kids to get home from school, call them and have them read the phone number and invoice number to me over the phone and then I would call and get that thing taken care of.

I even gave myself a little pat on the back for my super ninja problem solving skills!

Haha...that is until I got that lunch time phone call.  You know the one.  It's the one when your significant other, calmly and casually, inserts into an otherwise completely normal conversation that you are in trouble. 

Oh crap...He must have seen it laying on the dresser when He was getting ready for work.   

I launch into my explanation about how I was going to handle it and at some point I just stopped mid-sentence.

Wait...did you already take care of it?

Yes.

Shit <squeaky voice in my head>

But I really did have a plan to take care of it.  I promise I was going to...blah blah blah. 

Oh, hell...I might as well face it.  This wasn't working.  The only thing I heard from the other end of the line was Him smiling as I continued to dig this hole 6 feet deep. 

I finally just admitted I screwed up. 

Next time, someone please remind me NOT to listen to that devious little voice in my head, the one that wants to pretend I don't have a shit memory.

We'll see how much this one costs me!  

   

   

A Mouth Full

Conduct rule #3:

 

I am not allowed to swear at home or at work.

 

So, it's not surprising when I yelled, "G_ _ D_ _ _ _ _ !!" out the front door, after the dog ran out for the second time in a row, that I earned myself a punishment.

 

The little brat...she's made a quite a habit of bolting as soon as she sees the slightest opportunity and she's so quick.  You don't stand a chance getting your hands on her.  No sense in chasing her around the neighborhood either.  The only option is to wait until she decides to come home.

 

Anyways, as soon as GD popped out of my mouth, I knew I had done it.  A couple days earlier, He'd even warned me I was really pushing it lately, not necessarily for cursing but just in general.  Little things were starting to add up, and this one was going to be the final straw. 

 

My hand flew up over my mouth in shock, not just because Daddy clearly witnessed my transgression but so did my father-in-law, who quite honestly has probably never uttered words like that in his whole life.  This certainly wasn't going to help my case.     

 

But all I could do was wait for it and wonder...all afternoon and all evening.

 

Finally, after the littlest one was in bed, He called me in the bedroom and ordered me to take my clothes off.  Then He led me into the bathroom.   

 

Do you know how you are going to be punished?

 

Thinking that He took me into the bathroom where it would be more quiet, I meekly replied, a spanking.

 

Oh, NO!  Don't you wish it was a spanking!

 

After turning me around to face the sink and mirror, I saw what He intended.  The yellow bar of soap lying beside the sink made me cringe.   

 

Now do you know how you are going to be punished?

 

Yes, Daddy.  You are going to wash my mouth out with soap.

 

Quite a fitting punishment, don't you think?  We are going to wash all those dirty words out of your mouth. 

 

He had me open up while He pressed it in.  I clamped my mouth around it and felt my teeth sink in as I bit down slightly to keep it  in place.  He then sent me off to stand in the corner of the closet.   

 

As I stood there, I thought really how fortunate I was.  This wasn't so bad...there were worse punishments. 

 

But I should know better than to think that...

 

I heard His footsteps after just a few minutes and when He came in the closet He told me to turn and face Him.  With the bar still firmly in my mouth, He began thumping each of my nipples, alternating sides over and over as I tried desperately to wriggle away and the soap muffled my yelps of pain.  

 

Just when I thought He was done, He took me back to the sink and told me to spit the bar out into His hands.  He held it under the water and worked up a good lather, had me open my mouth back up and then used the suds on His fingers and hands to completely coat the inside of my mouth.

 

Oh my goodness...how awful!  YUK!  YUK!  YUK! 

 

And apparently, gagging was not an option because when I did, He curtly informed me there would be none of that or I would find myself holding the bar of soap in my mouth for hours.

 

With my mouth and tongue fully coated, He pressed the bar back into my mouth until one end of it was touching the back of my throat and the other end was just peeking out from my lips.  I stood there, desperately trying not to gag. 

 

After a couple more minutes, He finally let me take it out and told me I would want to rinse really well so it didn't make me sick.  

 

I really wish I could say the whole ordeal worked.  Unfortunately, when the dog bolted yet again today, I just might have yelled, "DAMN DOG". 

 

How could I do that after just being punished last night?  I really don't enjoy disappointing Him! 

 

My first thought was lucky for me Daddy is taking a nap.  I even went up to check and see if He was really sleeping.  He was out cold...didn't hear a thing.  It would have been so easy to let it slide. 

 

But that didn't feel right so I went ahead and owned up to it.  That's gotta count for something, right?

 

He thanked me for telling Him and told me we'd deal with it later.  Now, back to waiting and wondering...    

 

  

 

Daddy's Girl

As I said in my last post, a lot happened on Monday (and since) so let me start with the change from Master to Daddy, since that one seemed to come out of left field.   

Oddly, I never mentioned this Him but I had been thinking a lot lately about the Daddy dominant dynamic.  So it's a bit coincidental, and quite fitting maybe, that He chose this as one ways to put me in my place.   

Even though the word "Daddy" flows out of my mouth quite naturally around our kids,  He's always known me to be somewhat put off by any expectation He had of me using this word in other contexts. But being the mental sadist that He is, long before I even began calling Him Master, He would take great delight in watching me squirm, occasionally forcing the word "Daddy" from my mouth.  Oh, how it made me grit my teeth and want to crawl under a rock!

I am sure this goes back somehow to the relationship I have with my father.  Almost as far back as I can remember it has been strained, so naturally one might surmised that I have "Daddy" issues.  I have yet to admit that one out loud, but sadly, there is probably some truth to it.  Referring to my husband as "Daddy" never created any warm and fuzzy feelings for me, it just felt wrong.   

As I said though, lately I have found myself drawn to the idea of this firm yet loving, gentle, and nurturing type of dominance.  In fact, even though our dynamic had become somewhat stagnated, He was still very much taking care of me and our family.  The undercurrents of D/s were there but He seemed softer towards me and it almost seemed more fitting to think of Him more as a Daddy than a Master.   

So Monday, I stood naked in front of Him, with a reminder to cast my eyes downward.  Without being allowed to speak or question, He listed off several areas in which my obedience to His expectations had slipped.  Things that for one reason or another, just got put by the wayside. He didn't even have to finish the list...the point was well made...and well received.   

My privilege to refer to Him as Master or Sir was stripped away until otherwise notified.  When the setting is appropriate for me to do so, I am only to refer to Him as "Daddy". 

Now, I am pretty sure He might have meant this as a punishment (or a humiliation) of sorts, and yes, it did certainly sting because He was pointing out my short comings.  But with my recent curiosity about this dynamic, I didn't mind as much as I would have in the past.  Plus, I can say this in front of our kids and no one is the wiser. 

My only conundrum is while He is being so hard on me right now, "Daddy" doesn't necessarily feel quite fitting. 

Uggg...so confusing! 

But, I guess little by little, the whole concept is growing on me. It still feels a bit weird hearing "Daddy" come out of my mouth but apparently my brain is adapting to the idea...

and well...it seems to make other parts of me wet... so I guess she is adapting too!

Just When You Think You Have it Licked...

How did I ever have so much time for blogging?  It seems like I can't get 5 minutes these days.  I know one of the things that is keeping me busy is the new workout program Master implemented. 

Yes...He has now officially taken over control of my exercise.  It's not that I wasn't exercising.  I had been  faithfully for months but my main focus is always cardio.  A couple weeks ago, He handed me several printouts with lists of exercises and descriptions of how to do them properly .  They were titled "Slave Sexercises" . 

OK...don't laugh!  I know it sounds corny:)

The first day was fun though because I he insisted that I do all my exercises naked and in front of Him.  

Since then, I've just been on my own honor to do them.  Each day is a different sets of exercises meant to improve strength, tone, and balance.  I am on my third week of this program but the first week...oh my gosh...it was all I could do everyday to get up and walk.  The entire week, everything hurt, including my ass, because apparently a week of maintenance spankings were long overdue as well.  He made sure to keep my backside tender and bruised all week...just because.  

Anyways, this was not the point of my post. My original thought was about how easy it is to get caught up in tackling your day to duties and THINKING "oh yeah...I got this...I am in such a good place". 

I should have known better than to think my submission had become easy because here enters the shit storm.

One command from Master + one huffy attitude from slave = realization that slave has grown somewhat complacent and strayed far from her place and didn't even realize it.

So now let me explain.  The other night, it was late.  I was tired and just getting out of the shower.  Master asked that I go through my closet and get out all the trashy clothes I own and model them all for Him.  I didn't really mean for Him to hear the sigh as I continued to dry off, or the clothes hangers that I flung down in frustration on the closet floor because they kept getting tangled as I looked through the clothes.  I suppose it doesn't matter whether He heard all of that or not.  I knew what was in my heart and it was not submissive in the slightest.   

You see, this reminded me that warm weather is upon us, and I assumed would mean the return of a certain kink of His.  One that I do not share. 

Note to self: Presuming to know Master's mind...not a good thing...no not all!

But nothing makes me feel worse about myself than being dressed like a whore and going into public and those are the types of humiliating things He enjoys when the weather is right. I would say that I am fairly confident about my body but I DO NOT like showing it off it places that I don't feel appropriate and He just loves to humiliate me this way.

He let me go about trying on outfit after outfit with my little frowny face, pouty attitude and when I had gotten to the last outfit, He wanted to know what was my problem.  I attempted not to tell Him but decided that was not the right course of action.  These feelings didn't need to fester.  So I explained myself and He explained that it was OK for me to feel as such but not OK to act as such.  So off to the closet He sent me for punishment.  With legs spread wide, He made me bend over and grab my ankles.  No spanking, just left there until He felt I had held that pose long enough, which was until my legs were shaking and tears rolled up my forehead since my head was dangling down towards the floor.

After that, He did have His way with me, using me thoroughly and verbally humiliating me the whole time as He had me turn over face down on the bed and entered me from behind.  With His face right up to my ear, He talked about sending me out into public all sorts of a slutty mess since I presumed to know His mind and all.  I couldn't stop crying and every wall I had wanted to go up. 

However, He took great delight in the fact that when He specifically told me I would be taking a trip to the park at dusk and made to crawl on the walking trail in nothing but my collar and tennis shoes, my pussy decided to flood all over Him. 

The only thing I can say is my brain didn't like the idea but I guess other parts of my body thought otherwise.  Exhausted and tired of fighting tired of fighting the mental battle in my head and my body, I finally let it all go and gave in to Him. 

How easy it is for Him to lead me back to my place again. 

Question: Did You Ever??

One reader asked me in an email:

Did you ever get punished for the situation referenced in the "Can't Blame a Girl for Trying" post?

If you are new to my blog, you can go back and read about the whole situation here.

I was wondering if and when someone would ask about this punishment.  Several weeks back, I actually did write a fairly lengthy post with all the gory details and then somehow accidently deleted most of it.  At the time, I wasn't interested in trying to retype it so I just assumed it wasn't meant to be...well, that is unless someone asked.

Overall, I would say that this punishment was fairly mild in comparison to some of the others Master has provided.  And for that, I was thankful. There was acceptance of the fact that I had disobeyed, flat out refused to do something He requested rather, and I was aware there would be a subsequent penalty. 

But what of His role in the matter?  After all that had happened, it still felt like we were on a bit of shaky ground and I was a little afraid of how I might react if He pushed too hard, too fast.

There really wasn't a punishment as much as there were a small series of them throughout a period of about a week.  Starting with a clear reminder of my place, I was driven mad with need by the pleasure of His mouth on me, only to be left wanting and handed the cap of a pen with an assignment to edge myself with my "little dildo" ten times daily.

Yes, the cap of a pen. A small ball point pen I might add with a small little plastic cap about half the size of one's pinky finger! 

As if it wasn't degrading enough to find my body responding to such a pathetic little piece of plastic, I received other random messages to hump myself for a certain amount of time on objects of my choosing. 

At the end of the week, the more painful part of the punishment was delivered.  Stripped naked on the bed, I found myself in a new position, one that He intends to specifically use for punishment and  allows uninhibited access to both my ass and pussy.  Master made sure that I felt the sting of His belt across both until I was whimpering and squirming with each blow.   

As with any punishment received from Him, it is the intent and the disappointment I feel from Him and in myself that sets the tone, making the sting of punishment...that much worse.   


   

A Decision Made

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Can't Blame a Girl for Trying

 

 

Me: (joking around in my sweet innocent voice) Well, since we both admit we made mistakes...can't we just consider it a wash and forgo the punishment?

Him: (chuckling) No...that's not the way this works!
 

Mending Fences

It kind of goes without saying that this has been a week of reflection for us both.  We have spent quite a bit of time just being...relaxing together, catching up on the new show True Detective and talking about things a little at a time.

It upsets me that recent events threatened to unravel the fabric of our dynamic, but sometimes as unsettling as it can be, re-evaluation is necessary and in the end, hopefully helps us both to grow.

The issue was servicing others or being "loaned out" and it's not something I take lightly. I constantly struggle with the idea of it and always worry about any risks that could be introduced into our marriage and cause permanent damage.  While I had done it once in the past and did enjoy the experience, this time, the circumstances felt all wrong. I think He realizes that now as well.  Had I respectfully expressed my concerns at the time, He would have understood and agreed.  

Now, I don't consider myself at all bratty. He would never tolerate that. However, I admit to requiring a bit of affection and attention along with A LOT of reassurance.  Without proper attention given to the maintenance of our dynamic, the lack of intimacy and connection over the past few months have left me frustrated and feeling neglected, only working to steadily fuel my self-doubt and insecurities.  Rather than talk to Him about these issues, I withdrew into myself, hoping not to burden Him further.

I knew the moment He issued the order, I was far from the appropriate headspace and following through might very well have put my mental state in jeopardy.  Besides being angry, my first thought was he's too busy to want or need me for Himself so He is casting me aside and sending me elsewhere.   I needed Him and the security only He could provide me, not to be given away.

So, where are we now?

We know this isn't something that we want to give up.  It's not just something we do, it's who we are now.  We haven't been able to go about our days without feeling like something was just...missing.
 
He is determined to make more time for us so that our dynamic is fed and maintained because I need to feel His ownership.  It wouldn't be fair to expect me to meet all His needs, if I am left feeling that mine are not being met. 

We have discussed the issues I have with expectations of servicing other men and while I am not completely off the hook, He has offered me a reasonable compromise.

At this point, the ball is in my court.  The choice...whether I will accept the terms of my surrender with the understanding that if I disobey again, it will most definitely be the end of the dynamic.

 
Oh but there will be a little matter of punishment that I am due. Yikes...scary thinking how bad it's going to be, given that I stand accused of committing the cardinal sin in His book!

Decisions...decisions