Daddy's Girl

As I said in my last post, a lot happened on Monday (and since) so let me start with the change from Master to Daddy, since that one seemed to come out of left field.   

Oddly, I never mentioned this Him but I had been thinking a lot lately about the Daddy dominant dynamic.  So it's a bit coincidental, and quite fitting maybe, that He chose this as one ways to put me in my place.   

Even though the word "Daddy" flows out of my mouth quite naturally around our kids,  He's always known me to be somewhat put off by any expectation He had of me using this word in other contexts. But being the mental sadist that He is, long before I even began calling Him Master, He would take great delight in watching me squirm, occasionally forcing the word "Daddy" from my mouth.  Oh, how it made me grit my teeth and want to crawl under a rock!

I am sure this goes back somehow to the relationship I have with my father.  Almost as far back as I can remember it has been strained, so naturally one might surmised that I have "Daddy" issues.  I have yet to admit that one out loud, but sadly, there is probably some truth to it.  Referring to my husband as "Daddy" never created any warm and fuzzy feelings for me, it just felt wrong.   

As I said though, lately I have found myself drawn to the idea of this firm yet loving, gentle, and nurturing type of dominance.  In fact, even though our dynamic had become somewhat stagnated, He was still very much taking care of me and our family.  The undercurrents of D/s were there but He seemed softer towards me and it almost seemed more fitting to think of Him more as a Daddy than a Master.   

So Monday, I stood naked in front of Him, with a reminder to cast my eyes downward.  Without being allowed to speak or question, He listed off several areas in which my obedience to His expectations had slipped.  Things that for one reason or another, just got put by the wayside. He didn't even have to finish the list...the point was well made...and well received.   

My privilege to refer to Him as Master or Sir was stripped away until otherwise notified.  When the setting is appropriate for me to do so, I am only to refer to Him as "Daddy". 

Now, I am pretty sure He might have meant this as a punishment (or a humiliation) of sorts, and yes, it did certainly sting because He was pointing out my short comings.  But with my recent curiosity about this dynamic, I didn't mind as much as I would have in the past.  Plus, I can say this in front of our kids and no one is the wiser. 

My only conundrum is while He is being so hard on me right now, "Daddy" doesn't necessarily feel quite fitting. 

Uggg...so confusing! 

But, I guess little by little, the whole concept is growing on me. It still feels a bit weird hearing "Daddy" come out of my mouth but apparently my brain is adapting to the idea...

and well...it seems to make other parts of me wet... so I guess she is adapting too!