Some Like it Hot

Punishment finally came last night. So today, we start with a clean slate.  Standing in the middle of the bedroom, with my pants down to my ankles, and my fingers laced together behind my head, He  delivered 5 quick, but stinging, strikes with the thin bamboo cane across my backside.  One swat for each minor infraction accumulated over the past several weeks.  It wasn't the harsh punishment I had been dreading by any means. 

Afterwards, He told me to pull my pants back up and decided we were going to make use of the warm temperatures and go for a late evening walk.  It was going to be a quick walk but one of the kids wanted milk so we decided to race the clock and see if we could make it to the grocery store before they closed.

What started out as a quick walk ended up being four miles round-trip and took nearly an hour.  With Heron's extended illness, my monthly visitor, and our recent trip, it had been over 3 weeks since He had used anything other than my mouth and by the time we got home and hopped in the shower, I had already begun resigning myself to being patient yet another day.  I figured after the oral services He received the previous night and again earlier yesterday morning, He might not be in the mood for any more physical activity, particularly after the walk.

Oh, but how wrong I was.  It's amazing how much more energy we have when work isn't stressing and draining us!!

Standing beside the bed, He slowly removed my clothes and pushed me back down onto the bed.  Tweaking each of my nipples, He added clothespins to each and began rubbing His hands all over my body, my flesh responding with chill bumps everywhere He touched.  Finally, brushing across my clit, He began massaging it first with His fingers and then with the soft, warmth of His tongue.  His right hand reached up and pinned me to the bed by my throat.   

I was a hot mess already and it wasn't long before I could feels the waves of my pleasure beginning to build but He abruptly stopped, asking if I had any wife-beater tank tops.  I couldn't for the life of me figure out why He would need one, but I pointed to my sock and underwear drawer.  He pulled one out and Had me stand so He could put it on me.  Then, He resumed working me with His tongue until I was close to the edge yet again.

And again stopped.  This time, He reached into the bedside drawer, pulling out the capsaicin cream.  Rolling the shirt up, He rubbed a finger-full of cream around each of my exposed nipples and then pulled the skin-tight shirt back down, massaging my nipples through the cloth.  The added friction instantly increased the intensity of the burn.  He picked the clothespins back up and carefully placed them on the very tips of my nipples through the outside of the shirt.  I couldn't tell which hurt worse, the burn or the pinch but I was squirming and yelping until He ordered me to be quiet and put my arms out spread-eagle.

Trying to relax and breath through it, I stilled myself while He pulled my lower body to the edge of the bed and pushed His already hard cock into the wetness between my legs.  All the sensations melded into nothing but pleasure at that point and there was only heat building everywhere in my body. He butterflied my legs in between us as He continued thrusting in and out while massaging my clit with His fingers.

The intensity of the orgasm that was building was mind-blowing and I grabbed a handful of the sheets, just as I asked permission to cum.  As soon as He granted permission, the explosion began rocking through my body.  I was nearly arching off the bed and my muscles clenched so hard...that I pushed Him right out of me!!

Bet you didn't see that one coming?! (haha...pun intended)

Well, neither did I!  My pussy continued contracting but with nothing there, I guess it's what you would call the female version of a ruined orgasm.  I could have just cried.  He couldn't even force Himself back in. It was sealed up like Fort Knox down there.  After waiting over 3 weeks, I couldn't believe it went so wrong at the last minute.

Thankfully, He was feeling generous and kept going allowing me long enough to build up to another, this time climbing on top of me so I couldn't push Him out.  It's pretty unusual that I am able to achieve two during sex, but I guess that's the beauty of having gone without for a while.  My body was no where near done and the second was just as intense, if not more so!  

By this point, I had almost forgotten about the cream on my nipples.  He had long since taken the clothespins off and the burn had somewhat subsided.  But He laid down on His back and told me to ride Him.  And while doing so, He wanted to watch me rubbing and pinching my nipples through the shirt, again activating the heat in the cream. Watching me bring discomfort to myself drove Him to His own release.

What a great night!  I'm so giddy today...



  

Motivation: In Response to DtBHC

Don't know how many of you reading this are down here in the South, but we are on our second round of snow in just as many days.  Thankfully, school was already cancelled and I was released early from work so there wasn't a repeat of last year's nightmare with people stranded all over the city but I didn't feel completed at ease until Heron was able to leave work and join us here at home. 

Unfortunately, I am nursing yet another cold.  This one, thanks to Heron.  It's the gift that just keeps giving! So, hopefully I can keep this post on track despite my stuffy head.

Anyways, on to other things...

I want to thank DtBHC for his honesty in the following comment on my last post, Saddle Sore. I'm sure it's quite possible other people have had similar thoughts and after starting to type out a long reply, I thought perhaps it was better to just create a post.

Hi lg, I sometimes want to ask you the same question. Not judging in any way but trying to understand your journey and what motivates you to further your submission. Reading your posts triggers some strong feelings which I find difficult to process. I'm sure that I would fail if I was to be taken down this path. It's not likely to ever happen but I am fascinated by your journey.


Without knowing exactly which part triggers these strong feelings, I am going to try my best to explain my journey and what motivates me to further my submission.  Feel free to elaborate if I have made any wrong assumptions in the direction  your comment.

First of all, I am a consensual slave.  I made a commitment to do as He asks, whenever and wherever.  Of course, this takes a huge amount of trust to know that while pushing my boundaries, He will never push me farther than I can handle.  He has spent years learning my body and my body signals, and He knows exactly where my physical and mental threshold is.  He also understands that this threshold changes based on my hormones, stress, fatigue, and any numerous other outside influences.
   
In His vision of M/s, my purpose and focus should be ensuring His pleasure.  He is not, in turn, required to ensure mine.  My pleasure comes in serving Him.  He sometimes plans scenes that are specifically geared towards enforcing this very principle.  And I emphasize that this is "His vision" of M/s because everyone has their own way, none of which we believe are right or wrong

In the beginning, our dynamic was very much a punishment based system.  I was trained to serve Him in the ways that He expected and failure was met with a very swift negative reinforcement.  I get that some people don't like the idea of this.  But it's what worked for us.  I admit, it was what was needed to break so many of my disrespectful habits and years of conditioning.  And yes, I tried harder because I feared failure and punishment. 

Eventually, as I grew in my submission and transitioned from the mindset of "what will I get our of this", He transitioned to more of a positive reinforcement dynamic and that's when I truly began to thrive. Fear of failure no longer drove me to improve in my service.  Wanting to please Him did.

However, I admit, there are times when I have trouble processing things.  Usually it is only when my desires and expectations are getting the better of me.  It's something I continue to work on.  In fact, the morning that I cried all the way to work was the morning after the horse and extra long cock worship session.  In that moment, I felt like how much more can I give?  

So yeah...if I feel like this on occasion, that probably comes out in my writing when I am recounting a scene.   And questions like "what motivates you in  you submission"...I've had to ask myself frequently.

I'm not a masochist so it's not about getting off on pain.  

And I am quite frankly denied sex quite a bit so it can't be about the sex.

The simple answer is and the one that applies probably 90% of the time is that I have found so much love and contentment in serving Him.  

It took me a long time to get to that point though.  I had always loved serving Him outside the bedroom.  It was in the bedroom I had major control issues and feared His sexual appetite, but mostly I feared His sadistic needs.  For years, I forced His desires into an imaginary closet.  To top it off, I worked pretty damn hard to make Him feel like a freak for having such needs.  He loved me despite it all but it was obvious neither of us was completely happy or fulfilled. 

Our journey has been filled with plenty of bumps and bends in the road and I have failed more times than I can count.  But I've learned that this journey isn't about successes or failures.  This journey is about staying engaged and in tune with each other, always trying to give the other our best.  I don't always enjoy what He chooses to do to me (or not do to me) but it was trust and respect that allowed me to give myself over to Him and it's what allows me to continue doing so. Trust is also what helped created a completely different energy and connection in our marriage.    

Overall, I think by living within the confines of His expectations, I have become a better person.  Patience is definitely having to become one of my virtues. And I think it's made Him a stronger,  more confident person.

So what keeps me motivated the other 10% of the time that I don't find my cup running over with happiness just doing what I am supposed to be doing?  Well, then it's just a matter of being obedient.

Again, thank you for you thoughts and comment DtBHC!  I'm glad to know that my journey fascinates you:)

Righting The World

Daddy almost immediately noticed the drink I made myself sitting on the table when He arrived home from work.  He commented that I must be feeling better.   

I stood nervously waiting for Him to say something about my hair. Earlier in the day, on a whim, I ran into the hair salon for a quick trim.  I had just colored my hair, noticed how unhealthy the ends looked, and happened to have a minute while out running some errands.  It wasn't until I got home, that the panic set in.

How could I have forgotten to ask permission? 

Hoping to minimize the damage, I called Him at work, admitted that I had probably just screwed up, and tried to explain that it had only been a slight trim to get the dead ends off, not a drastic change in length or style.

He would decide for Himself once He got home. 

As it turned out, He didn't even notice until I reminded Him.  He said it was fine, hardly a noticeable change as He disappeared upstairs to the office.  Whew!

Even though I have been sick and we have been far from strict protocol, that's no excuse for forgetting such a simple rule so I appreciate His leniency this time, but it was a good reminder in how easy it can be to lose focus on the little things.

Later in the evening, He was still in the office becoming more and more frustrated with all the work He had to do, I suggested that maybe He call it a night and offered to relieve His stress.  Thankfully, after over a week and half of being sent to bed to get my rest, He stood up and commented that it was a good idea.

He thought it best that I still not over-exert myself but did allow me to spend some time worshipping His cock.  Oh, how I had missed everything about that.  

The feel of Him growing hard beneath the touch of my lips.

The slight moan that escapes His lips when I run my tongue over the sweetest of spots.

The satisfaction in knowing that I was finally able to bring Him pleasure in the way the He likes it most.    

Honestly, I can't remember the last time I've gone that long without Him using and filling my mouth.

It was nice for all to become right with the world again.

 

Fleeting Thought

This past weekend, I was thankful to feel so deliciously sore and sated.  It had been a couple weeks since feeling Heron's touch or receiving any pleasure myself, other than orally servicing Him of course. So He made sure that I was quite indulged.  Two days in a row even!

But of course, there always that moment when I realize such luxuries come at a price and this time was no exception.  As I laid on the bed, still soaking up His full attention and affections, He explained my impending doom. 

A period of extended denial that would begin at the conclusion of the weekend. Now how long, I don't really know.  I assume weeks, maybe a month.   

I kick myself though because no matter how many times I've been here before, it remains difficult to still my thoughts to this situation. Rather than continuing to enjoy the moment, my mind had already jumped ahead to the "what's to come". But I suppose that's part of what He enjoys...feeling me mentally squirm, watching as the panic sets in while He describes all the ways He intends to torment me in the (un)coming weeks.

Surely, allowing me several orgasms over the weekend would at least help during the first few days of my going without but it is most certainly NOT.  It's not often that I get to enjoy the full pleasure of His body and mouth, and now it's all I can think about.  Then that little voice in my head reminds me that constant craving will not be quenched any time soon.  

My brain is already such a jumbled mess, and even though I'm supposed to be preparing for this week's "story time", I can't put anything reasonable together with the distraction of this throbbing between my legs. 

While pillaging the internet last night, hoping to find inspiration for my upcoming story, I even considered breaking the rules and touching myself.  The pictures really did me in. 

He wouldn't have to know...obviously a fleeing thought, but a thought nonetheless.

I know He's got me right where He wants me.  I'm just not exactly sure where that is and what He intends to do with me.