Saturday, July 27, 2013

Preparations for a Scene

More often than not...there is no time to prepare.  Typically, our only time together is a few stolen moments at the end of a long day. 

But on the rare occasion that I do have time, I like to make sure that everything about me is pleasing to all of His senses (most importantly...sight, smell, touch).

Starting with a long hot shower, I will see that every part of me is clean and smooth.  I wash and condition my hair and then take my time shaving as Master is not fond of any hair on my body...well except on my arms and on my head.  A new trick I learned recently is to use coconut oil instead of shaving cream.  Strangely enough, it can be found in the health food section at the grocery store and comes in solid form.  While in the shower, the warm water and steam will cause it to liquefy.  Pouring a little out in my hand, I use it as if it was shaving cream.  Not only does it help the razor to glide so gently without leaving any irritation, but it also leaves my skin so silky smooth even after my shower.

It is a well known fact that the scent of vanilla is an aphrodisiac for many men.  Studies have proven that this scent is the one that arouses men most!  My Master is no exception to this rule so I make sure that my shower is always stocked with plenty of vanilla scented body wash. 

There is nothing hotter than having Him walk up to me, put His nose to my neck and drink in my smell like a wild wolf.  Oh...the crazy look He gets in His eyes makes my tingly in my stomach.

Anyways, the body wash is perfect because it isn't such an overpowering scent and leaves just the right amount after washing it off.  I make sure to lather my entire body, and sometimes if I am really trying to get into the right head space, I will lather again.

Focusing on nothing except that my body is being prepared for His use and pleasure, my time spent showering is my pre-scene "meditation" so to speak.

As I get out of the shower, I dry off and stay completely naked until the scene is to start.  The feel of the cool air touching all of my most sensitive spots is just so erotic to me.

I will usually ask Him before I start preparations, how He wishes my to see my hair.  Sometimes it is down but typically He requests it to be up and out of the way so He has better access to my neck and shoulders.  He loves when I sweep my hair to the side and just do a single braid draping over my shoulder.  Sometimes, if I am feeling extra playful, pig tails will be the choice.  We aren't into age play, but there is something about pig tails that just makes me feel like a sweet helpless little slave and I love seeing the little crooked grin He gets when I surprise Him in this way. 

Next is my makeup, which I work on to perfection.  The way I see it, my makeup is going to run off my face if and when I start to cry but that is what He loves to see...mascara running in little streams down my cheeks and painted on my face as the tears dry.  Bright red whore's lipstick and big hoop earrings are also a must have for Him.

As I do my hair and makeup, naked in front of the mirror, I soak in what I see.  My body...His body...accepting myself with the flaws I see whether they are physical or mental.  I no longer linger in the doubt and self-consciousness anymore.  This is His body and my only responsibility in this moment is to focus my mind on the anticipation being what He needs me to be and opening myself up to moment our souls connect in the most vulnerable and intimate of ways.

So you see, preparing for a scene is a time for you to perform the physical preparations for your body that will appeal to your Dom's senses   I use my body in any way to drive Master wild and induce pleasure whether it be sexually, mentally, or sensory. But more importantly, it is about connecting with your own spirit. 

It is when I am in this head space....I find the deepest connection with my Master.

Just a couple of other little hints:

Make sure you are well rested
Don't forget to hydrate with water throughout the day...not just before the scene
I prefer to eat just a little something light about an hour before (trail mix is a personal favorite)   


Sunday, July 21, 2013

My Biggest FEAR!

So we all have fears in life whether it be of dying, getting into a car accident, or losing the person we love.  I attended an event today and the discussion was about fears.  So many of the ladies shared some very touching and personal struggles.  I was able to also open up and talk about my own fear...the fear of disappointing others.

My entire life, I have wanted everyone around me to be happy with me.  I despise failure of any sort and agonize if I think that I have let someone down.  Turning myself inside out to do what other people would like me to do has been a fatal flaw of mine as far back as I can remember. 

For example, as a child, I was expected to participate in a sport in which I grew to hate.  This was a choice made for me before I was even old enough to say the word "sport".  As I grew older, I wondered what it would be like to feel like a "normal" kid.  I wanted so badly to see what it was like to hang out with friends after school or try other sports that interested me so I tried to verbalize these feelings.  The only thing my mother would tell me was that watching me perform was the ONLY thing that brought her joy.  No pressure there!! 

As I watched her marriage unravel and all the unhappiness surrounding her life, how could I even fathom adding to her unhappiness?  So, I sucked it up, hated my life every single day, and continued to do what pleased her.  This was no short lived part of my childhood...this was 17 years!  I have this saying..."if I am going to do something, I am going to be the best."  Whether I like what I am can be assured it will not be half-assed because I hate failure.  So being good at it didn't really help my case when I claimed that I didn't want to do it. 

I grew up in house where both my parents regularly reminded me that children have no rights and no say.  Our house was a "dictatorship...not a democracy!"  All this did was continue to drive home the fact that I had no control over myself or any choices.  My sole purpose was to do what others wanted and expected of me.   

I suppose had I been a different type of person, I could have been a rebellious hell-raiser and bucked the system.  But looking back, my submissive tendencies were already well established.  Doing for others was already part of my nature. Being a people pleaser has lead to so many frustrations in my life because it's hard keeping everyone happy and finding happiness yourself.  I am finally understanding that no matter how hard you try, you will never make everyone happy. 

My inability to say NO left me feeling quite out of control of my life, and what did I do?  I took it out on the one person that really never expected me to be anything but myself and spent all of His time trying to make me happy, my Husband and lifelong best friend who I am proud to call Master.  From day one, He accepted every single thing about me, the good and the ugly.  It really is true that we tend to be our worst to the people we are closest to. 

This past year, in my journey to become a slave, I have learned more about myself than I have in the previous 39 years of my life.  The act of surrendering has forced to continually evaluate my behaviors, the reasons for them, and how to overcome so many obstacles from my past. 

Being submissive obviously comes naturally, and in being His slave, I embrace my people pleasing nature for Him only. 

I want to obey Him.

I want to endure intense painful sessions for Him.

I want to please Him in everything that I do.

I still believe in being a kind, helpful, and humble person but the part of me I see changing is that I  no longer feel obligated to do what EVERYONE thinks that I should...only what HE thinks I should.  In every way, I try to be a person with only good intention but if someone isn't happy me, I no longer twist myself in knots worrying about it.  I am not responsible for everyone's happiness. 

The only person I live to please now is my Master and that is such freedom! 

Thursday, July 18, 2013

This Slave ALWAYS Needs More Cum

Yep...I do that!!

Master knows how much I love to swallow each and every load of precious juice that comes from Him.  Somehow, I never realized before now how much I was committed to pleasing His cock with my mouth until I starting keeping track in my Sex Slave Statistics, and not much thought had been put into anything about the come itself.  I know the amount and consistency changes, as does the taste, but never bothered to take the time to figure out why.

My slutty greedy need for more of his come in my mouth, started a conversation between us because He wants to make sure that He can fill my mouth with as much as possible at any given time.  So, I spent some time researching "how a man's load of cum can be increased" and was amazed at what I didn't know.  I mean, a lot of it is common sense but we are both excited to try some of the  suggestions I found. 

Let's start with overall health.  Plenty of exercise and rest is always key to keeping the body healthy but it will definitely improve sex drive and the body's ability to create more of that creamy liquid I crave.  Also, it is recommended to abstain from sex or masturbation for 2-3 days to maximize the regeneration of sperm.  WTF!  I don't know about you but this really isn't always an option now is it?

A little interesting fact: A man will reach his full load potential in 2-3 days.  If he doesn't shoot off after about three days, his sweet man juice will start hitching a ride out of his body through the urine...haha...a built in pressure release valve!  But Master's come would be going to waste and that just won't do. 

I love learning new things!  

Now, for those interested in sweetening up the taste, try cutting back on the beer (makes cum bitter) and eat more cranberries, pineapple, and papaya.

There are plenty of other nutritional tricks that will help with increasing a man's load size and also the speed at which it is replenished. 

Limit alcohol and caffeinated drinks as these tend to dehydrate.  Semen is made up of 98%         water so drink LOTS and LOTS of water. 

Eat a low fat, high protein and high fiber diet with plenty of vegetables, beans, wheat germ, whole grains, and oatmeal.

*  We have all heard that oysters are aphrodisiacs.  Apparently, not only do they increase libido but you guessed it...a healthy serving will increase load size.  And believe it or not, supposedly celery does the same thing.

*  Amino acids are the "building blocks" of protein so eat legumes such as chick peas, baked beans, lentils and peanuts.

*  Fruits, particularly melons and berries, provide necessary fructose.  Also, melons contain plenty of much needed water. 

*  Zinc seems to be a very important nutrient in cum production.  It can be taken in supplement form but can easily be incorporated into a healthy diet by choosing the right foods.  Below is a top 10 list of foods rich in zinc.  Hmmm....I think you will find #1 very interesting! 

     1) Oysters - Steamed Wild Eastern
2) Toasted Wheat Germ
3) Veal Liver
4) Roast Beef - low fat shoulder, shank, chuck
5) Roasted Pumpkin and Squash Seeds
6) Dried Watermelon Seeds
7) Dark Chocolate
8) Lamb
9) Peanuts
      10) Crab       
It's a good thing I am not trying to increase my load size, because the only thing I would be eating on this list would be beef, chocolate, and peanuts:)
We eat fairly healthy but I think I will be adding some things to our grocery list.  It can't hurt to try! 
Feel free to comment with other suggestions.  



Monday, July 15, 2013

What NOT to do with a TENS Unit!!

In my last post, Memories of a Night with Master's New Toy, I just briefly mentioned the TENS unit.  Well.........let's just say I left out the details for a reason.  I really could only do it justice by dedicating an entire post on the experience!!

I have read accounts of mid-scene blooper moments and quite frankly was a little jealous that I didn't seem to have something in all of our time together to contribute.  I guess, give it long enough and something is bound to happen. 

In the midst of the fucking machine and Hitachi scene, Master thought that it was quite funny to light me up with the TENS by placing them very strategically close to my pussy and increasing the voltage until I was yelping and jumping all over the table.  He really was laughing at me!!  Pretty sadistic if you ask me:)

That is until He decided it was time to move on to the Violet Wand, but in His excitement forgot to turn the TENS unit OFF before removing the pads from my body.  Boy...did He get a SURPRISE!! 

Then it was I, while strapped to a massage table, who couldn't stop laughing when He first yelled, "GOD DAMMIT!!" as the electricity coursed through His hand and then cussed Himself for being a "FUCKING IDIOT" (His quote...not mine)

This was a Master's lesson learned.  HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Memories of a Night With Master's New Toy: The Violet Wand

I knew this week would be crazy and it certainly didn't disappoint.  Everyone was home and family life was back to normal...maybe even a little crazier than usual, hence my inability to put together a blog post all week.

Unfortunately, in a the craziness, I slipped on a couple of chores and forgot to properly greet Master as He came in from work one day in particular.  A sincere apology and a punishment with a fly swatter on my ass and nipples quickly reminded me of my place.

Other than that, not much to report so I thought I would reminisce about my first experience with Master's new toy...the Violet Wand!

Just before the end of our "official" training period, Master introduced me this new toy of His.  I cringed with nervousness as He pulled it out of the box with almost giddy delight, like a little boy at Christmas!  A few days later, with me lying on the bed, He testing it out starting at the lowest intensity and slowly increasing, really just getting a feel for how it worked and judging my reactions to the different intensities on different areas of my body.  It also comes with several different attachments, some definitely delivering a more of a zap than others. 

Just a hint...smaller tip = more intense!  At least I think so. 

He found it pretty funny watching me jump, flinch, and squeal every single time He touched my skin or waved it over my body.  I lay there thinking, how was this was going to be erotic at all?  The sound that it was emitting reminded me of the blue bug zapper that hangs outside and I could actually smell the electricity!  On the other hand, He thoroughly enjoyed watching the purple light and was fascinated to watch as the tiny little bolt of electricity reached into the air and connected with my skin.

Moving on to the night I was collared....

In my post, Collaring of Nightbird, I made reference to my favorite part of being strapped to the massage table and experiencing one of the most amazing orgasms with a combination of different things.  Well, the grand finale of this 3 hour "Attack of the Senses" session was quite intense.  With both of my arms and legs spread and strapped down, Master brought the fucking machine and placed it on the table between my legs.  With the largest (and my most favorite dildo attachment I should add), He positioned it and turned it on so that it was slowly sliding in and out of me.  The Hitachi, which had been strapped to an adjustable microphone stand, was brought over and He made sure that it was driving me crazy by humming directly on my clit.  Oh....Oh....I was already in heaven but it gets better!

He pulls out the TENS unit and has a little fun with it shocking first my tits and then the areas around my pussy (which will lead me to my next post...LOL!). 

Now, He is ready to incorporate the Violet Wand for the first time into one of our play sessions.  I am not sure why this little gadget is so intimidating to me but it is.  Again, as He waves it all over my body, I jump and squeal, but after a while of tormenting me He focuses the wand all around my pussy...up around the top portion near my tattoos and even around the opening of my pussy and around to my ass.  Laying there, trying to figure out what this sensation reminded me of, I finally determined it felt almost like getting tattooed and oddly this helped me to relax.  Weird...huh?

He doesn't let up at all, just keeps waving the wand in circular motions all around the lower portion of my body and the pain began to meld and intensify the pleasure of the fucking machine and Hitachi.  I thought my entire body was about to short circuit as I could feel the almost blinding orgasm that was making it's way to the surface.  When I finally let it go, it is likely that anyone standing outside on our street probably hear the animalistic moans and screams coming out of me.  I can't recall ever making any such sounds! 

Ah, what a great night and I am certainly no longer intimidated by that little purple light:)


Saturday, July 6, 2013

Today...It Comes to an End

Two glorious weeks come to an end in just a few short hours.  Don't get me wrong...I am so looking forward to having our family back together but the time that Master and I have shared has been more than amazing and something that we haven't had our almost 18 years of marriage since children were part of the equation since day one.  We experienced some pretty powerful moments and felt such an intense connection every minute of every day.

I am thankful for the time we have had but I already find myself sad...

as I put away all the play things that have been sitting out and used pretty much every day. 

as I think there are no more extended play sessions and going out to dinner at 11:00 at night, completely exhausted and starving. 

as I will wish I could still sit with Him in the living room watching TV, completely naked with only my collar on.

as there will be no more sex at any time of the day, how ever many times a day, and completely uncontrolled screaming orgasms. 

It's time for us to go back to our grown up life, putting the needs of our family above our own.  Our bodies and minds are tired so rest will do us good but I am sure we will both drop pretty hard.  I am already starting to feel mine.  The weepiness set in last night and is coming again as I write this.  I don't want to feel or sound selfish for enjoying my time away from responsibility but I think we earned it. 

One lesson learned is that somehow, someway...we must make more time for US!    

There is still so much that happened that I haven't blogged about yet.  Maybe catching up on some of those stories will help me make it through the withdrawals.


Wednesday, July 3, 2013

The Collaring of Nightbird

The days leading up to collaring were difficult to say the least.  To start we had "Night of Riding the Cross" on Thursday, followed by a humiliation day on Friday (which I won't go into to many details since it is similar to some of my other blog stories). 

However, I will say this, humiliation day did not end the way I thought it would.  I did my tasks as assigned and gave myself a big pat on the back.  No questions....just doing!!  My final task of the day was to go to the sex shop dressed, well um, let's just say really slutty and buy a new spanking implement.  No problem!  I drive home topless.  No problem! But when I arrive home, I can tell Master is somewhat displeased.  He didn't believe that I had completed my tasks earlier in the evening with enough confidence and proceeded to immediately turn me around in the kitchen spank me with the new implement that I had just bought.  I can't be sure what it's called but  I think it's a triple layer leather slapper. So the equivalent of a three leather belts combined into one and a nice little handy instrument of destruction.  Apparently, I need to do more research before I go and buy stuff because THAT SHIT REALLY HURT!!! Not to mention, quite unexpected so that made it hurt all the worse!

For the first time that I can remember in a long while, I was really angry at Master.  I don't know what made me more upset, the fact that I felt the punishment wasn't warranted or Him telling me to stop crying afterwards.  Either way, once I could compose myself, I explained to Him my feelings.  I know that a lot of people speculate on is it OK to feel anger as a slave and I say absolutely.  We are only human and are going to carry all of our normal emotions.  It's all in how those emotions are handled and communicated that makes the difference in acceptability.   Unfortunately, He felt it necessary to push me harder in this area and the discussion was closed but at least He knew where I stood and it was all handled in a non-threatening manner.    

Saturday, I woke up feeling more clear headed than the night before.  It was a new day and another adventure was planned.  Master once again refused to share any of the details with me but I knew it was to be another long intense session which had to do with affecting all of my senses.  Sounds fun...right?  Imagine being blindfolded and tied to a massage table for 3 hours with just about every kinky implement being used on you...until you are about crazy!  One minute feeling the soft touch of a feather across the entire backside of your body and immediately being swatted over and over again with a crop.  Or being flogged across the front side of your body and then rubbed down with ice only to be immediately flogged again.  Throughout the entire scene, I never knew what was coming.  Would it feel good, hurt, smell nice, taste funny?  After a while, I felt like I was going just a little crazy from the emotions and stress of it all. 

So much happened through this session, there is no way I can even do it justice so I will just say that my least favorite part was being slapped on the bottom of my feet VERY HARD with the riding crop.  I don't know how many people of ever experienced this but just one slap on each foot had me screaming all kinds of obscenities.  I told Him later it was a good thing I was strapped to the table otherwise I probably would have jumped up and hit seriously!  My absolute most favorite part was an insane combination of several things (fucking machine included along with a new toy for us) that gave me the most amazing intense orgasm just about ever...but that is another blog story in and of itself. 

Collaring Ceremony 

After our session was over and I was dressed and ready to go out to dinner, Master called me back upstairs.  My gut was telling me what was about to happen but I didn't want to get my hopes up until  I saw...the candles lit and the glow of the collar sitting in front of me as I walked into the room.            

He had designed this moment so beautifully and will be one that I will never forget.  He asked me to remove my clothes and kneel at His feel as I felt the smooth metal of the collar as it was locked around my neck signifying to us both that I belong to Him completely. 

He had something prepared that He wanted to say...some vows so to speak.  The short version is that He promised to guide and protect me, honor my feelings and needs, and tend to my happiness, health, and well-being.  I, in turn, accepted to follow Him on this journey, and to serve and belong to Him. 

Then He began read to me an excerpt from a book and I could no longer hold back my tears.   

The story told of  a man becoming completely "intoxicated" by the song of a Nightbird.  The sound of this Nightbird consumed his thoughts and so "enraptured" him that it consumed his soul.  Choking up as He spoke (which let me say does not happen typically), He explained that I am His Nightbird.   

The front of the tag on my collar is engraved with the words..."Owned by Heron"

The back is engraved with the words..."As I Own His Heart".

What an amazing journey this has been so far! 

What an amazing man/Husband/Master I belong to!