Sunday, March 31, 2013

Advanced Slave Training

 First let me start by wishing everyone a Happy Easter.  I hope you were able to spend special time with loved ones today!

Now tomorrow may be April Fools, but I assure you it will be no joke for me.  Tomorrow marks the day I am entering a new phase in my training to become a better slave.   Depending on how much time Master and I are able to devote, this training should last 1-2 months.  My goal...earning my collar! 

Even though I already think of myself as a slave, I do still lack many protocols both in and out of the home, especially in conducting myself around other Doms and subs.  My Master has been doing quite a bit of research and with the help of another, has developed an extensive plan intended to test not only my deepest boundaries, but also my strength of body and mind.

Don't get me wrong, there has been training along the way but my understanding is this will be directed more towards managing my every decision (micro-managing so to speak).  To this point, I have still maintained quite a bit of my own freedom of choice.  Moving forward, my only responsibility will be to heed his every command and direction, with no hesitation or doubt.  He is charged with teaching, guiding, and disciplining for every infraction.  This, in the end, will make me better.

As I look upon tomorrow, I have mixed feelings.  Excitement because I am about to start a new phase of our M/s relationship.  Excitement at the prospect of earning my collar and officially being His.  Excitement that I will truly earn my position as a slave and have done so in a way that all within the community can be proud.  Most of all, excitement knowing that this experience will continue to strengthen the bonds that have already formed since we committed to this lifestyle.

However, I have been warned, there will be days I feel I can do nothing right and this is the that part worries me most.  You see, I very much like to do EVERYTHING right, and when I don't, nobody can be more upset than I am with myself.  I will work on acceptance, letting go of guilt, and handling punishments with grace and poise.

I intend to blog often so you can follow this journey with me.  Your words of advice or encouragement along the way will be much needed and extremely appreciated.  

Saturday, March 30, 2013

24/7 D/s in our 24/7 Vanilla Life

For those of you who have been reading my blog, you might have started to pick on the fact that my Master and I have a pretty busy family life.  It is so difficult at times to focus on our relationship when we are pulled in different directions by so many different variables.  I am sure others of you face this challenge as well.  Have you ever been to the point of frustration and just really have to laugh at how comical it all is?

There is nothing that can take you out of the proper frame of mind like getting your ass spanked in the closet only to be interrupted with a knock at the door followed by..."Mom!  Will you come help me with my homework?"  Now, please don't think that our kids can hear what is going on or that we would ever do anything with them in close proximity.  My Master has figured out which implements are more quiet for situations such as this.   

The switch is one such implement that delivers quite a sting with almost no noise at all.  Also, if he feels that my tits need punishment but we aren't in a situation that allows for a true spanking, he will use what's called a "silent spanking". For those of you that haven't experienced this, it is Capsaicin cream (arthritis pain relief).  The first time He spread this on my nipples, I didn't feel anything at first and thought to myself "what's the big deal?".  HOLY COW, about 10 minutes into sitting down at the dinner table, I wanted to come out of my chair when the sting hit me!  The intense burning will last about about 20 minutes.  Quite an effective tit spanking and He never touched me and nobody around us knew any better. 

Our little "secret" makes it all more exciting!

Even though our household situation limits the amount of physical contact we have at times, I work hard to focus on my overall demeanor making sure that He knows I am still thinking of Him and my submission all the time. 

I would be interested to hear how you incorporate your D/s lifestyle into family life...  

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Check it Out...My Rules

Make sure to visit "My Rules" page!  Just click on the link at the top of the page.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Surrendering Control

This post is dedicated to the Luna Blog Hop Challenge "Dominant Personalities in Submissives".  It is my story of why I made the choice to surrender control and become a submissive wife.

Submitting...not just my body, but also my mind and soul, to another person is my testament of strength.

On the outside, it appeared I had it all…a devoted and loving husband, nice home, kids, pets, powerful career but inside something was missing and I was drowning. My need for control was taking its toll on me, my relationships, and now my marriage. The bedroom was the only place my husband (now Master) had asked for control but I even fought that. I knew his tendencies towards dominance, but I insisted on living within my comfort zone. Experiences in my life had taught me letting anyone have control was weakness! And to keep the peace, He chose to repress what we fondly refer to as the “beast”.

After twenty years together, I finally realized to achieve true happiness within myself and a deeper more sustainable connection within my marriage, something (or someone) had to change. I guess maturity, along with lots of brick walls, showed me that I couldn’t control everything in my life, nor did I want to anymore. And the only person I could change was me. So, I made a commitment to trust and surrender. While the change started in the bedroom, it quickly morphed into a complete power exchange of all things in our relationship.

Not only did our increase in "play" rouse my sexual appetite which had previously seemed dormant, but gradually, my overall behavior and attitude began to change. The weight of trying to control everything was lifted, my patience level increased, and I felt much calmer inside. I was no longer lashing out at the people I loved the most and then carrying the guilt afterwards for doing so. I worked to find more effective ways to communicate with my Master, which transcended into better communication with everyone around me.

Now, I am not going to claim this change is always easy. I do still have an independent attitude which presents challenges along the way for both me and my Master. For me, it is learning to do without hesitation and question. For my Master, it is finding control and patience with my antics. My nature is to question everything and, in many cases with Him, is my way of trying to weasel out of something that I am not comfortable with. Acceptance, when my Master is pressing my deepest boundaries, is something I am still working on. It is beginning to come easier by continually reminding myself that He will see to my well being and not put me in harm’s way. I am His most precious belonging after all.

Another challenge is changing roles between work and home. To make this transition easier, my first task when leaving work each day is to call my Master on the drive home. I always greet him with “Hello, Sir” and this immediately helps reset my focus. This phone call is also an opportunity to vent about whatever happened during the day so it’s not part of our life at home. I, once, made the mistake of forgetting to call. Trust me, after that spanking I will not forget again…at least anytime soon!

Now, I cannot speak for all or even most women, but how many of us have run around, doing everything and complaining that we “have to do it all”?  Or how many women live a life of the same, once in a while boring sex, but secretly daydream of just being grabbed by the hair, thrown down, and taken! Shall I dare say, in many cases our need for control was to blame? I believe that a man that is made to feel like he can’t take charge, WON'T. Thus, the process of mentally and physically “checking out” of the relationship begins for both partners.

Bottom line, I am not a submissive person by nature. I made a choice to surrender for our mutual happiness because I love, trust, and respect my Master. My encouragement comes in knowing that my service and submission makes Him happy. In turn, He is fully engaged in our relationship in a way that I have not experienced throughout our whole life together; and therefore, I am happy.


Sunday, March 24, 2013

Whip It or Whip it Good!

I receive spankings for many things.  It may be punishment, maintenance, or in some cases, just because Master feels like it.  Of course, the nature of the spanking usually determines the level of pleasure associated because if it is punishment related, I will not enjoy it because it's meant only to be corrective.

Let's talk about the actual instrument of choice.  I have been spanked with all sorts of items, including but not limited to these below due to my Masters endless imagination of spanking implements! 
Wooden Spoon
Plastic Spatula
Leather Belt
Riding Crop
Metal Coat Hanger

Admittedly, the coat hanger ranks very high on the list of my least favorite, but my Master reserves this for the most rare severe infraction due to it's intense nature.  The pain delivered goes beyond a sting and is so intense, even without much force applied, is felt very deep in the butt muscle.

Now, the loopy, which in our case is a homemade devices of looped cables is my all time least favorite.  When given the choice, I take the coat hanger over this little device.  It's like I can feel all 3 loops hitting my ass indiviually.  Not to mention, I sported nice looped shaped bruises for several days! favorite is THE RIDING CROP!!  I love the short little slap this delivers and I almost get giddy with excitement as soon as I see Master pull this out.  Chance are, my ass isn't the only thing that is getting spanked when he uses the riding crop.  He can easily redirect his blow to reach in between my legs, driving me wild with each slap to my pussy.

Any thoughts or comments on spanking or those objects used to deliver a such a good ass warming?

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Ecstasy through Agony: My Love/Hate Relationship with Clamps

Master's favorite pair...of clamps I mean!

Ever have that experience when something is so brutally painful, but your Master reaches down between your legs and you just know that your body is about to completely betray you?

This is my relationship with clamps...specifically clover clamps.  These are amazing little torturous devices.  I can't even begin to describe the agony when these are pulled or weights are added, but even that doesn't come close to the intensity of pain when the blood rushes back into your nipples once they're removed.

Assuming these are used during play (I am not going to claim that I enjoy these during punishment), wth the right kind of stimulation, it is amazing how my body reacts.  I no longer feel the pain but just intense pleasure. 

What I find most interesting is that in my previous "vanilla" life, having my nipples played with was completely unstimulating.  Now, just the slightest pinch on my nipples from my Master sends spasms all the way down to my pussy.

By the way...tweezer clamps with the little bell on the end are my favorite!  What's your favorite?



Monday, March 18, 2013

Spankings are Motivators Too!



I could see by the look in His eyes, I had just issued a direct challenge when the two words "I did"   fell so freely from my mouth.  This would be the first of my two mistakes.

He very confidently walked over and started to take the shelf off the inside of the fridge door, revealing those last few drops of spilled juice I had missed when cleaning up.  Oops...there was mistake number two.  I didn't even need to see the crooked grin that moved across his face to know what this meant for me. I was about to be on the hard end of this stick...literally!

Punishment didn't come right away because there were too many little people around, but later when the house was empty, Master delivered his message loud and clear with a sound paddling that not only hurt my ass but also my pride.   

Apparently, "approval" will not be my only motivator!

Saturday, March 16, 2013

What is Your Motivator?

This has been a week of self reflection for both my Master and i, mainly evaluating where we are, where we want to be, and how to get there. 

Maybe because we have been together so long in a "vanilla" relationship,  compliance is not  something that comes easy for me at all.  Also, as an Aries, i am extremely head strong and stubborn. Tempering my tendencies to "do things my way", argue, question, roll my eyes, and pout has been a real challenge.  i know i made a great deal of progress this week, so much so it took Master by surprise.  See, the other thing about Aries is that we strive to succeed in all that we do.  For the first time, i actually crawled to him without being instructed to.  I know it sounds like nothing...but trust me...this was a BIG step for me. 

However, i know there is still a ways to go in my overall growth and service.    i think Master is working on plans for some intense training which is both exciting and scary!  i have no idea what to expect but i can't wait to keep you all updated:)

One of things Master and i talked about earlier in the week was my motivation. i don't need much but i do need approval and tend to lose focus and drive to do or be better if i feel that my service and accomplishments go unnoticed. i don't know if that is right or wrong but i think we all need motivators.  What is yours?

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Delicious Cock Worship

What better way for a slave or "cock slut" to show her admiration than through worshipping her Master's cock.  This, when done right, should be extremely pleasurable to your Master. 

For me, cock worship is time that I spend solely focused on His cock and balls without the stress of bringing Him to orgasm.  Although I am sure some men could be brought to orgasm during cock worship, my Master prefers to maintain control and uses it merely as a warm up.

During cock worship, I am connecting with him and his body in almost a spiritual sense.  It isn't about just sucking, even though at times that may be appropriate, but it is more about caressing, licking, tasting, admiring, respecting, and showing you lust for such an important part of him.

I use my mouth, lips, tongue, face, hair, fingernails...whatever brings him to the point of sighing or moaning out loud.  Then I know my sluttiness is pleasing him.  Nothing makes me hotter and throb with desire for Him like hearing His moans of approval, feeling his cock grow hard under my touch, and his balls tighten in anticipation of release.

In fact, I hope there is enough time left tonight for a little worship...

Whether Master or slave, what does cock worship mean to you? 

Monday, March 11, 2013

Emotions "Exposed"

Master Al wrote:

Glad you switched to blogger. Liked the post. Good insight from a subs mind. I would liked to know how it made you feel from an emotional stand point.
Thus the idea for this blog came to mind.
In my previous post "Breaking Through", I explained the details of the night and what I was able to accomplish.  Now the bigger question was how did it make me feel emotionally.  I really had to stop and think.  Obviously, exposing yourself in a public place is taboo, so there is an excitement about the whole ordeal.  Walking through the store, I felt slutty and trampy as I felt the random eyes following me. 
But when I really stopped to think about it, I felt something deeper...Compliance and Trust.
I stopped fighting that internal battle about what he was asking me to do and just did it.  It really was much easier once I moved into a compliant frame of mind. Then I could begin to trust that He would handle the situation with His and my best interest in mind.  

Kneeling in Submission...

Thank you to those that commented with photo suggestions.  I had hoped to have this posted before the end of the weekend so I hope it was worth the extra wait. 

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Breaking Through

Last night, Master and I enjoyed an evening out.  He instructed me to dress appropriately (as much as I could with it being cold).  I have to admit, I was pretty proud of my choice which was jeans and a purple sleeveless tight fitting top that had a cut out exposing my cleavage.  Master was pleased! He did let me wear a very thin black shrug to keep me a little warm getting in and out of the car.

While at dinner, he ordered me to remove the shrug and sit with my back arched.  This part was really no big deal.  We sat, talked, and enjoyed our food.  He also ordered me couple of drinks appropriately named the "Fruit Loopy" which helped ease my insecurities.  Before leaving, I was tasked to walk to the bathroom and back.  I didn't even need to look down to know that all the guys at the bar were getting a great glimpse at my nipples pushing far out of my top. 

On the way home, Master had me remove my shirt and put on just the shrug with the two ends in front tied at my navel, leaving everything exposed.  The only thing covered was my back, shoulders, and just enought material to cover my tits.  He turns a different direction from home which makes me very nervous.  We pull up in the parking lot of a store we all know and love, and decides we are going in for a stroll.  OH GOD....I look down and see so much skin, realizing that the material was so thin you could see through it, and my nipples were pointing out for the world to see but I follow Him in regardless. 

Master was very thoughtful about not taking the main aisles of the store so we don't really pass too many people.  We get to an area in the back of the store and while standing waiting on him, he has me undo my top and expose my tits completely.  What had seemed impossible to do, I actually did and He was very happy.  Of course, no one was around so that helped until I looked up and realized, I had just bared my tits in front of a security camera.  Oh well...lucky night for the nerdy security guy!

Bonus Post!!!

Tell me what you think my first picture should be for my blog…

Baring My Soul

10 things Master could do to humilate me…and some of them I’m sure he will do

·         Make me expose myself in public

·         Call me “Cow” or any other demeaning nick name in front of someone

·         Make me lick dildos clean

·         Expect me to call him Master or sir in front of others or making me call him “Daddy”

·         Make me confess BDSM lifestyle to family

·         Allow others to hear what is going on behind closed doors

·         Speaking to me in a way that insults me

·         Wearing a sign of ownership (ie. Collar) in public

·         Make me ask permission to do everyday activities

·         Doing a scene in front of other people, being forced to have sex with someone else,
or being dominated by someone else

Break Out Those Kneepads

Sorry I have missed writing lately. As with most families this winter, I have been battling my fair share of illness. Master was kind enough to take it very easy on me the last couple of weeks but now that I am recovering, it will surely be business as usual.
This last couple of weeks, I realized one thing I missed most about my submission was being on my knees. Why you ask? As a slave, being on your knees is a position you find yourself in most often. Not only do Masters love to see their pretty little slaves at their feet but this position is used in all sorts of situations. Whether it be for discipline, training, or simply pleasing Master’s cock, being on my knees makes me feel exposed and vulnerable.
So why do you like being on your knees?


Mall Tramp

       I have fought this test since day one…exposing my slutty self in a public place. This is one thing Master expects of me but causes such a great deal of inner turmoil. My concern for how others view me makes this type of experience very humiliating but yesterday was to be the day. I had put it off long enough and knew there was no getting out of it. I kept telling myself I just had to get it done. Master and I went upstairs to figure out my attire for the event and after trying on many different outfits, I came out feeling better than I imagined. Thanks to the cold weather, Master decided on a pair of tight jeans, high heeled black boots, and a tight fitting blue sweater…no bra of course. You could definitely see my tits and nipples, but honestly, I was just thanful that you couldn’t completely see through it. With my big hoop earrings and bright red lipstick, I walked out the door with instructions to text him along the way, walk both the top and bottom level of the mall twice, look every person in eye and smile, and use correct posture. Starting slow he says…hmmm.
        I get to the mall and walk in, slowly take my jacket off and begin the slut parade. Completely aware of what every single person around me is doing, I start to walk. It doesn’t take me long to realize most people don’t even look in my direction. They are either wrapped up in conversation with someone else or just seem to be on their own mission. I finish the first two laps and get comfortable enough to stop in a couple of stores. Got to multi-task…bra or not. I did notice a couple of odd glances, mostly from other women, which is what I was most afraid of but just kept reminding myself that I didn’t know them. I was most surprised as I was walking out of the food court, to see my Master walking towards me with a big grin on his face. He was just checking to see if I was cheating and then he left me to finish my last lap. No one approached me but I think overall it was a success.
       I survived and realized the experience wasn’t as bad as I had pictured in my mind. Do I look forward to doing it again…well I don’t think so, but my responsibility as a slave is to always please Master.

Calm after the Storm

       Last night was intense but today, I feel calm. Started the morning with a blow job and by lunch we were back in the bed again. Master ordered me to lie with on the bed with my legs spread and hand clasped behind my head. Knowing this allows him full access to my body, my pussy instantly started burning with desire before he even put his hands on me. There is something hot about being so exposed to him. The longing only intensified when he turned me so that my head was hanging slightly off the side of the bed, again with my legs spread wide but my hands clasped behind the small of my back. He stands beside the bed and easily slides his cock in my throat while being able to pull my nipples and spank my pussy. I am finding that my body is responding quite well to this type of attention. He loves when my lips spread wide open in response to him.
      Thankfully, we finally had sex…seems like forever since I had Master’s cock inside me. Fortunately or unfortunately (don’t know which), I seem to be getting pretty hot while writing this. Guess we will see what Master has for me next!

My First Time (Part 2)

Moving on to the next part of my training session, I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be treated like a dog but Master commanded me to get down on hands and knees, and play fetch. Did I feel weird wearing a pair of knee pads and fetching balled up pairs of socks…OH YES! But I did as he asked over and over, picking up each pair with my mouth and dropping them at his feet. My only break, was to lap water from a bowl on the floor.  During this game of fetch, Master felt it was time I experience my first butt plug. Other than an overwhelming fear that it was going to shoot out across the room and and punch a hole in the wall every time I moved, I admit I liked the feeling of being so full.
Now, Master LOVES to use clover clamps on my so very sensitive nipples. So to add a twist to the game, with clamps on my nipples, Master attached string from them to my fingers. As I crawled, I would pull my own clamped nipples. The pain was intense and at times more than I thought I could bear but nothing compared to removing the clamps. This type of pain is like slamming your finger in a car door and we have all done that!
As I lay on the floor after the clamps had been removed, Master came down beside me. He softly began stroking my clit and whispered in my ear how proud he was of me. Despite the pain in my body, his soft words and touch started to ignite a sensation that I am all too familiar with, and I felt my orgasm quickly building.  Master must have felt my body responding to his touch because he stopped and instructed me to mount the dildo attached to the workout bench. With the dildo buried deep inside my pussy, he vibrated my clit with my most favorite toy. My whole body was shaking and begging to explode. Thankfully, Master granted permission to orgasm because there wasn’t anything in the world that could have stopped it. I would have gladly accepted any punishment just to release all that had been pent up.
What I experienced was mind blowing…and the longest and most intense orgasm ever.

My First Time

I was on the edge all day long thinking about what was going to happen. The nipple rings I had worn all day kept me extremely horny making the idea of training easier. I only hoped that if I did well, Master would let me come as I hadn’t since Monday and was aching to release.
Once training started, I was a little more scared than I had been earlier. Stripped naked with only my collar, I was facing the wall the way Master positioned me as he told me what was coming. As he whispered in my ear in his commanding tone, my nipples hardened and my breath quickened.
First, it was a little light flogging to get the blood flowing. Then Master introduced me to the cat-o-nine tails. Since it was my first time, he wasn’t too hard on me. A little sting but it wasn’t too bad. As he commanded me to turn around, I was much more fearful. My heart beat heavily in my chest knowing that he was about to spank my tits. I am terrified of having my tits whipped because my nipples are SO sensitive. Then the flogging began, first lightly and then harder. As hard as I tried, I failed to keep my composure. Tears instantly sprung to my eyes when it clipped my left nipple and then again on the right. Thankfully, Master realized I had been pushed far enough.
Coming soon…part two of my first training session.

Day One

      Well, Hello everyone. I am very new to this whole building a website/blog so please be patient as I work through all of this! Anyways, you can call me little girl, which is my Master’s pet name for me. We have been married for over 17 years, have 3 kids, both have full time jobs, and are trying to make our Master/slave relationship work in between. My Master/husband always had tendencies towards domination and we have experimented along the way. I have always wanted to please others and even derived a certain amount of pleasure from some pain. Basically, it was OK as long as it was my idea. Well, our marriage definitely needed a change in pace so I made the choice to submit myself.  Nine months have gone by at this point and all I can say is some days are good and some days are not. I was given an assignment at the start of the year to start a blog so here I am. I am hoping that my experiences might help other submissives in their day to day life…and maybe help me. My role does not come without some personal sacrifice and struggles. I look forward to writing and hopefully getting to know some of you.