Slavery with Poise, Grace, and Sophistication

Slavery and servitude while exhibiting a certain poise, grace and sophistication... 

This is what I am supposedly striving for, I know.  But in reality, the execution of this concept seems to elude this very seriously klutzy, clumsy girl.

I am THAT girl...the one you can't take anywhere. 

You know the one that always spills food on herself.  Yep...that's me.  And it's always a bit embarrassing how Daddy has to point out that I have some speck of food dangling from my chin or smeared on my face.  What's worse, is now my kids have taken to pointing this out.
 
Then the other day, we were out on a family walk 7 mile hike in the woods, and of course, I trip over just about every rock and tree root.  At one point, my eldest, who was leading the way, yells back..."You ok mom?  Did you trip?"  To which Daddy replies, "Is your mom walking? Then yes, she tripped!" 

But today...today takes the cake!  I mentioned in my post the other day about knocking my cup and spilling coffee not on myself, but on Daddy just as we were all loaded up in the car to go out of town.  Well, me and coffee must have this thing going right now and it's not pretty. 

I met Daddy at His office today for lunch.  Before leaving, I poured myself a cup of coffee to enjoy on the ride back to my office.  With empty containers from lunch in my left hand and coffee in my right, I go to open the glass door of the office suite and somehow lose the grip on my cup.  Thankfully, I kept it from hitting the floor, but in the process, sloshed it all over my hand, down the door and onto the floor.  Of course, this had to happen right in front of two of His co-workers.  Ignoring the searing pain (because it was HOT coffee, you know!), I quickly ran and got papertowels to clean up my mess but the whole ordeal was pretty embarrassing.

It would be a bad enough story if that was the end of it...but OH NO...that's not the end of this story. 

After dutifully cleaning up the mess I had made and kissing Him goodbye, I continued on down the elevator.  Obviously, at this point, I am being ever so careful as I reach the main floor and approach the door leading to the outside the building.  Still holding the coffee, I put my right arm out to push open the door because I CAN DO THIS without making an idiot of myself.  From the other side, a gentleman approaches and begins to pull the door open for me. 

How nice!!

Except that part where my sleeve got caught on the handle of the door and despite my best efforts to NOT make another mess, some of my coffee sloshed out of the cup and right onto his shoes! 

Oh God, it doesn't get much more embarrassing than spilling something on a perfect stranger.

So, I guess the lesson here is that I am meant to enjoy coffee only in the safety of my own home or at my desk and not on the run! 

But the bigger lesson...apparently I have a lot of work ahead with that poise, grace and sophistication thing!