Thursday, June 26, 2014

It's Not Really About Humiliation

Some readers have commented or sent messages inquiring as to if or when Heron might have a contribution for this blog.

I should probably mention that He is a very private and quiet person. However, I always find, when He does speak up, His words are well thought out and very enlightening.

It took a while, but He finally took the opportunity to comment on my recent post (In)Decently Exposed. Admittedly, it really was a good one for Him to comment on given that the topic is something I struggle with greatly and I have a hard time understanding why that aspect of our dynamic is so important for Him.

For me, His perspective was extremely insightful and I thought it could really stand as it's own post. Plus, for those of you inquiring, I didn't want you to miss it.

So, I have copied and pasted His response and associated references below.

To me there is something enticing about watching your discomfort when you know you have to present yourself...your body...in a public arena.

Now you know, I would never put you in a situation that would put us in jeopardy, so it doesn't bother me that you are wearing a thin t-shirt that displays your delicious assets!

I get that most women are not in the least bit turned on by humiliation Women are constantly faced with cat-calls, whistles, wandering eyes, accidental touches, etc.
I think it is important to understand that it is not your humiliation that I crave.

The distinction lies in the definition of what is happening to you. It is not your humiliation that either of us respond to. Rather, it is your embarrassment. When you have on skin tight clothes that are showing glimpses of the treats underneath, it embarrasses you. Your embarrassment and the fact that I am taking you out of your comfort zone entices me! (Does it entice you? We both know the answer to that. Don't we pet?).

Warren and Warren (2008) noted that humiliation makes the recipient feel less valued, less treasured and bad about the self-image. Showing off your body may be embarrassing, but it is because you have a great body that I acknowledge it and show it off. In turn, that should bring you a greater sense of self-worth (Warren & Warren, 2008).

This should happen for two reasons. First, despite your fears, you overcome your hesitation and doubt and successfully accomplish the task presented to you. The other reason, is that you have pleased your master.

It is for those very reasons that I will continue to see just how far down the rabbit hole you are willing to go.

Love you my pet!

Warren, J., & Warren, L. (2008). The loving dominant (3rd ed.). Oakland, CA: Greenery Press.



By the way, He also requested that I add a picture of the shirt in question to the His collection of  favorite Pics.

7 comments:

  1. That's an interesting perspective and one I had not thought about. I'm so glad you shared this because I would have totally missed it.

    Thanks for adding the pic as well. I can see why Heron chose that shirt. Very sexy!

    xo

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    1. Awww...thanks; I agree...i think it's sexy, just not in public:)

      co

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  2. Love hearing Heron's pov. Interesting point by Warren and Warren. I need to think about this more.

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    1. It is an interesting perspective isn't it. So simple...sometimes I just over think things.

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  3. Now isn't that interesting! And it makes complete sense!

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    1. Thanks Misty! It does make sense and that is why I love when he shares his thoughts and perspective because sometimes I just get stuck in my own head and can't see it any other way

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    2. I do that ALL the time!

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