Had anyone told me even 2 years ago that I would be involved in an M/s relationship I would have thought that person was crazy. I surely would have thought that person even more crazy had they suggested that I would willingly and proudly wear a symbol of ownership, such as a collar.
We began our D/s journey in June 2012 and it all began with a contract. I know contracts are highly debated and I don't intend to get into that here but it's what worked for us. At that time, outside of wearing a collar during play, there was no mention of collaring or even developing a Master/slave relationship.
Honestly, when I first submitted to Him, I didn't even know there was even such a thing as collaring. Once I did find out, I certainly wasn't interested in wearing something that I thought was more appropriate on a dog. Wearing a permanent sign of ownership...nope...not for me.
After about 6 months, the D/s lifestyle was iffie for us, we struggled quite a bit. We didn't want to give up but soon came to the realization that we both needed to make a larger commitment to ourselves and to each other. Around January of this year, we began shifting into a Master/slave dynamic and I really made a concerted effort to better educate myself in all aspects of slavery.
I had experienced the positive impact submission had on our relationship so my walls and negative perceptions related to being owned had already begun to crumble. Soon, I wanted nothing more than to be considered His slave and I remember reading something on Fet that sparked my interest in collaring. The idea of wearing a "day" collar, one that could worn in the vanilla world but carried the same intent, intrigued me. Master was pleased when I mentioned this to Him because He had apparently already been putting some thought into collaring me.
Earning His collar would not come easily though. I would endure months of training, which is another highly debated topic that I don't intend to get into here. He intended for training to push me, push my boundaries, and mold me into exactly the slave He wanted me to be. Only then, would I be worthy of wearing His collar.
The 3 days leading up to collaring were by far the toughest, meant to push my boundaries on many different levels. After our last session was over and I was dressed and ready to go out to dinner, Master called me upstairs. My gut was telling me what was about to happen but I didn't want to get my hopes up. Then I saw the candles lit and the glow of the collar sitting in front of me as I walked into the room. One of the things I love about Him, is how diabolical and sadistic He can be on one hand, and so thoughtful and romantic on the other.
He had designed this moment so beautifully and it will be one that I will never forget. He asked me to remove my clothes and kneel at His feel as I felt the smooth metal of the collar locking around my neck, signifying to us both that I belong to Him completely.
Then He began read to me an excerpt from a book and I could no longer hold back my tears.
The story told of a man becoming completely "intoxicated" by the song of a Nightbird. The sound of this Nightbird consumed his thoughts and so "enraptured" him that it consumed his soul.
Choking up as He spoke (which let me say does not happen typically), He whispered to me you are my Nightbird.
This private moment, which was exactly one year to the day of us signing our original contract, was more special and emotional for us both than the day we exchanged our wedding vows 18 years ago.
The front is engraved with the words..."Owned by Heron"
The back is engraved with the words..."As I Own His Heart".
Obviously, this isn't a collar I can wear in the vanilla world so we went the next day to purchase a Pandora bangle bracelet which I wear every day. I love the idea of being able to add charms that will have special meaning just for us and of course my first was His birthstone.
What an amazing journey this has been so far! What an amazing man/Husband/Master I belong to!
This is my first writing for KOTW but the topic was so near and dear to my heart, I knew I had to post an entry. I had blogged several months ago about my collaring ceremony so I transferred some of the text to this post.