Wednesday, November 20, 2013

KOTW: Thoughts on Being Collared

Had anyone told me even 2 years ago that I would be involved in an M/s relationship I would have thought that person was crazy.  I surely would have thought that person even more crazy had they suggested that I would willingly and proudly wear a symbol of ownership, such as a collar.

We began our D/s journey in June 2012 and it all began with a contract.  I know contracts are highly debated and I don't intend to get into that here but it's what worked for us.  At that time, outside of wearing a collar during play, there was no mention of collaring or even developing a Master/slave relationship.

Honestly, when I first submitted to Him, I didn't even know there was even such a thing as collaring.  Once I did find out, I certainly wasn't interested in wearing something that I thought was more appropriate on a dog.  Wearing a permanent sign of ownership...nope...not for me.   

After about 6 months, the D/s lifestyle was iffie for us, we struggled quite a bit.  We didn't want to give up but soon came to the realization that we both needed to make a larger commitment to ourselves and to each other.  Around January of this year, we began shifting into a Master/slave dynamic and I really made a concerted effort to better educate myself in all aspects of slavery.

I had experienced the positive impact submission had on our relationship so my walls and negative perceptions related to being owned had already begun to crumble.  Soon, I wanted nothing more than to be considered His slave and I remember reading something on Fet that sparked my interest in collaring.  The idea of wearing a "day" collar, one that could worn in the vanilla world but carried the same intent, intrigued me.  Master was pleased when I mentioned this to Him because He had apparently already been putting some thought into collaring me.

Earning His collar would not come easily though.  I would endure months of training, which is another highly debated topic that I don't intend to get into here.  He intended for training to push me, push my boundaries, and mold me into exactly the slave He wanted me to be.  Only then, would I be worthy of wearing His collar.

Collaring Ceremony

The 3 days leading up to collaring were by far the toughest, meant to push my boundaries on many different levels.  After our last session was over and I was dressed and ready to go out to dinner, Master called me upstairs.  My gut was telling me what was about to happen but I didn't want to get my hopes up.  Then I saw the candles lit and the glow of the collar sitting in front of me as I walked into the room.  One of the things I love about Him, is how diabolical and sadistic He can be on one hand, and so thoughtful and romantic on the other.

He had designed this moment so beautifully and it will be one that I will never forget.  He asked me to remove my clothes and kneel at His feel as I felt the smooth metal of the collar locking  around my neck, signifying to us both that I belong to Him completely.

He had something prepared that He wanted to say...some vows so to speak.  The short version is that He promised to guide and protect me, honor my feelings and needs, and tend to my happiness, health, and well-being.  I, in turn, accepted to follow Him on this journey, and to serve and belong to Him. 

Then He began read to me an excerpt from a book and I could no longer hold back my tears.   

The story told of  a man becoming completely "intoxicated" by the song of a Nightbird.  The sound of this Nightbird consumed his thoughts and so "enraptured" him that it consumed his soul.

Choking up as He spoke (which let me say does not happen typically), He whispered to me you are my Nightbird.

This private moment, which was exactly one year to the day of us signing our original contract, was more special and emotional for us both than the day we exchanged our wedding vows 18 years ago.         

The front is engraved with the words..."Owned by Heron"

The back is engraved with the words..."As I Own His Heart".

Obviously, this isn't a collar I can wear in the vanilla world so we went the next day to purchase a Pandora bangle bracelet which I wear every day.  I love the idea of being able to add charms that will have special meaning just for us and of course my first was His birthstone.

What an amazing journey this has been so far!  What an amazing man/Husband/Master I belong to!

This is my first writing for KOTW but the topic was so near and dear to my heart, I knew I had to post an entry. I had blogged several months ago about my collaring ceremony so I transferred some of the text to this post. 



  1. beautiful...I need to go read those blogs.

  2. i have a "training" collar. You can see it in some of my pics. It's vanilla enough that no one questions it. Master is designing a day collar to replace it with when He returns home and we are planning a short getaway and a ceremony. It's become more important to me than my wedding bands (which i still can't wear post-baby).

    i remember reading your post about your contract when we were first working on ours.

    1. It's funny how that happens. Our collating ceremony was so much more meaningful and we have been married twice! I have to admit, I do love my wedding rings as much as my collars. So glad to hear that you two will be having a ceremony:)

  3. Hello,

    Thanks so much for joining in the KOTW, and with such a great post! Your ceremony sounds like it was beautiful. :-)

    (PS - would you mind linking the KinkoftheWeek image to the KOTW blog? That way those who want to read about the topic can find other blogger's posts as well. You can either add the code from the Get the Badge page into your html editor, or simply link to the blog post itself: Feel free to email me at piecesofjade at gmail dot com if you have any questions about how to do it.) :-)

    1. Jade,

      Thank you for taking the time to read it and for the opportunity to link it to your website.

      I was having problems making the link work but will try again when I get home on my regular computer. I will contact you if I need help:)

  4. Lovely ceremony. Thanks for sharing your private moment.

  5. This was beautiful. We haven't gotten nearly this far in our journey but the emotional connection is so much more than I ever expected.

    Thanks for sharing this private moment.

    1. It was such an amazing moment and i love to be able to share it:)

      I think experiencing how intense that connection was is what keep pushing us through, particularly during the hard times.

  6. This was so beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

  7. What a beautiful story! Your master seems like a sweetheart or even better tough on the outside but sweet on the inside :)

    1. Thank you for your comment! I do love that He is exactly as you describe....seems tough on the outside but sweet on the inside. That's a perfect description:)