How did I ever have so much time for blogging? It seems like I can't get 5 minutes these days. I know one of the things that is keeping me busy is the new workout program Master implemented.
Yes...He has now officially taken over control of my exercise. It's not that I wasn't exercising. I had been faithfully for months but my main focus is always cardio. A couple weeks ago, He handed me several printouts with lists of exercises and descriptions of how to do them properly . They were titled "Slave Sexercises" .
OK...don't laugh! I know it sounds corny:)
The first day was fun though because I he insisted that I do all my exercises naked and in front of Him.
Since then, I've just been on my own honor to do them. Each day is a different sets of exercises meant to improve strength, tone, and balance. I am on my third week of this program but the first week...oh my gosh...it was all I could do everyday to get up and walk. The entire week, everything hurt, including my ass, because apparently a week of maintenance spankings were long overdue as well. He made sure to keep my backside tender and bruised all week...just because.
Anyways, this was not the point of my post. My original thought was about how easy it is to get caught up in tackling your day to duties and THINKING "oh yeah...I got this...I am in such a good place".
I should have known better than to think my submission had become easy because here enters the shit storm.
One command from Master + one huffy attitude from slave = realization that slave has grown somewhat complacent and strayed far from her place and didn't even realize it.
So now let me explain. The other night, it was late. I was tired and just getting out of the shower. Master asked that I go through my closet and get out all the trashy clothes I own and model them all for Him. I didn't really mean for Him to hear the sigh as I continued to dry off, or the clothes hangers that I flung down in frustration on the closet floor because they kept getting tangled as I looked through the clothes. I suppose it doesn't matter whether He heard all of that or not. I knew what was in my heart and it was not submissive in the slightest.
You see, this reminded me that warm weather is upon us, and I assumed would mean the return of a certain kink of His. One that I do not share.
Note to self: Presuming to know Master's mind...not a good thing...no not all!
But nothing makes me feel worse about myself than being dressed like a whore and going into public and those are the types of humiliating things He enjoys when the weather is right. I would say that I am fairly confident about my body but I DO NOT like showing it off it places that I don't feel appropriate and He just loves to humiliate me this way.
He let me go about trying on outfit after outfit with my little frowny face, pouty attitude and when I had gotten to the last outfit, He wanted to know what was my problem. I attempted not to tell Him but decided that was not the right course of action. These feelings didn't need to fester. So I explained myself and He explained that it was OK for me to feel as such but not OK to act as such. So off to the closet He sent me for punishment. With legs spread wide, He made me bend over and grab my ankles. No spanking, just left there until He felt I had held that pose long enough, which was until my legs were shaking and tears rolled up my forehead since my head was dangling down towards the floor.
After that, He did have His way with me, using me thoroughly and verbally humiliating me the whole time as He had me turn over face down on the bed and entered me from behind. With His face right up to my ear, He talked about sending me out into public all sorts of a slutty mess since I presumed to know His mind and all. I couldn't stop crying and every wall I had wanted to go up.
However, He took great delight in the fact that when He specifically told me I would be taking a trip to the park at dusk and made to crawl on the walking trail in nothing but my collar and tennis shoes, my pussy decided to flood all over Him.
The only thing I can say is my brain didn't like the idea but I guess other parts of my body thought otherwise. Exhausted and tired of fighting tired of fighting the mental battle in my head and my body, I finally let it all go and gave in to Him.
How easy it is for Him to lead me back to my place again.