Sometimes, when my life feels out of kilter, I desperately try to grasp for control of something and I tend to revert back to old habits of controlling food. It's always been empowering to have it right in front of me, want it, yet possess the will to say no.
Daddy has known this about me since day one but I don't think He could fully appreciate the level of control I felt in saying "no thank you" when I was offered food.
From time to time, He will order for me, which I don't seem to mind at all. It's refreshing to not have to make that decision. But let Him tell me that I am going to eat something, whether I want to or not, and watch me start to panic.
Now, asking me if I would like something is all together different. He has always had a very sweet habit of asking me if I would like to try something of His. Sometimes I do want a bite and will take it. On the other hand, sometimes I do want a bite and won't take it. I know...He reminds me how complicated I am all the time.
So the moral of the story is...no longer will He be offering. He acknowledged that it gave me too much control and I really have to agree. So now if I want a bite, I have to ask for it.
Then, He is the one that has the power to decide whether I get it or not.
 |
| photo credit: http://farm6.staticflickr.com/ |
Oh wow, This is something i have done with Little One! Not about food but taking away her control in something. The similarities are really quite canny!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree. The more I read of what you write, the more I see those similarities!
DeleteOh, this will be interesting to see what He does in order to get you to ask for it.
ReplyDeleteWho knows!? I am learning not to let anything surprise me:)
Deleteoooo gosh. I'll be reading with interest to see how this goes!
ReplyDeleteI have my own issues around food - due to severe intolerances since I was a young child I have always had to be very careful about what food I eat, how it's prepared, what's in it, etc.
Relaxing that limit and him then playing with it a bit, forcing things I don't like into my mouth and that kind of thing - he'd never do that with anything that would actually make me ill, I hasten to add - has been simultaneously terrifying and amazing.
Sorry to hear that you had to deal with that growing up.
DeleteYeah...food has been one of the last things I have let go control of because it's such a personal issue for me. I can very easily get carried away with regulating it too much.
Growing up, I wasn't exposed to a large variety of food. I will say though, He has really expanded my horizons as far as that is concerned..