Wednesday, April 22, 2015

My Idea...Or Is It?

Happy Earth Day
Ever notice how you react sometimes when you are introduced to something new or out of your comfort zone?

I don't know about you, but sometimes my initial reaction on the inside is to fight it.  I find it interesting how some things Heron insists on me doing anyways.  Sometimes it's because He knows I will end up enjoying it.  Sometimes, He knows I won't and that's OK with Him too.  While other things, He simply plants the seed and waits patiently, watching it grow until it almost seems like my own idea. 

Recently, someone commented in an email to me about my apparent  breast implants  Well, I don't go around announcing that they aren't real but it's probably no secret.   Many, many years ago, I complained about my small chest and the toll that having children had taken on what little I did have.  And being that Heron is most definitely a boob man, I was even more self-conscious.  He was always quick to assure me that He loved my body.  But when I would complain, He would say that if it would make me feel better about myself, I should have something done about it. Which translated in my head to...I want you to get something done about it.

My immediate reaction was to scoff at the notion, feeling insulted that He would even suggest such a thing.  But that was me being silly because He would never have expected me to do something so drastic to my body if I wasn't comfortable doing so.

Truth be told, the main reason I didn't want to do it was fear.  Which seems to be the case with so many other things I chose not to pursue in this life. Heron will attest, I am going to over think it and convince myself of the worst case scenario happening every single time.

So for years, I assumed that I would end up getting some botched plastic surgery and hate myself for it.  Well, that didn't happen...I've been perfectly happy with the choice I made.  

All of the same can be said for our dynamic.  He wanted it but wasn't going to push me into something I didn't want.  With my heels dug in for years, He waited patiently while that little seedling took root.  It took a really...really long time but eventually I came around.  And guess what?  I've been perfectly happy with the choice I made.  

I've learned time changes things and opens the mind to new possibilities, if one lets it.  Sometimes there is an impetus that helps me see things differently and sometimes it just takes the right circumstances to present themselves. 

But once my mind is open, curiosity is bound to overcome the fear that resides there. 

This new development in my life is just another example, except this time the seed didn't really need to be planted.  It was there all along, hiding deep down in a place where I could deny it's existence. With plenty of encouragement, He brought it to the surface where it could finally reach the sunlight and grow.

This is a big step...a huge leap of faith...all sorts of scary and exciting.  And I'm fighting just about every insecurity I have as a woman.  But I'm ready and I know I wouldn't be able be in this position if it hadn't been for a wonderfully supportive and patient man.

Sometimes pushing boundaries can be so subtle, you don't even realize it's happening!

10 comments:

  1. "I am going to over think it and convince myself of the worst case scenario happening every single time." - this is me to a T! As I was pointed out over the weekend - i think of every little detail.

    I can't wait to hear what is going on. I'm so excited for you.

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    1. I can't speak for everyone, but over thinking things is probably quite normal for us females, I would say. I wonder if it is connected to the walls we build? We build those walls to keep us safe, physically and emotionally.

      I can't wait to share either! Soon...i promise:)

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  2. Beautiful and very exciting how you are embracing this new development. Hugs.

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    1. Thank you K so...so much. Oh....I could just give you big hugs!!

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  3. I feel the same way. New things push me into a defensive mode. This last week is certainly evidence of that. I hope it goes well.

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    1. Hi Collared mom! Why is it that we react that way? Lol! The funny thing is...so many times I look back at the things that once made me defensive and just have to shake my head at myself. Doesn't keep me from feeling the same darn way about something new though!

      So glad you commented! Apparently, I have a lot to catch up in with you. Just realized I never added your new site to my reading list.

      Hugs xo

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  4. Your hints have me thinking.....and I am very excited to hear how this new opportunity plays out for you!

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    1. I am excited to see how this plays out too! I hope to be able to share something soon:)

      xo

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  5. having their support makes everything worth it, hugs

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    1. Hi Angel Blue. Their support really does make all the difference doesn't it?! Hugs to you xo

      Hope you are having a great weekend!

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