I have been trying so hard to pull out of this funk I am in.
Every time I would try to sit and write, my thoughts were so jumbled, the words just failed me. It was easier to simply close the computer and walk away. I was at the point were something had to give, and apparently it was my writing. I have probably 5 different posts that I started but never finished so hopefully I will get back to those.
Privacy...don't even know what that is anymore. Struggles
with our youngest munchkin have left us almost no time to spend
The weeks leading up to Christmas were indeed stressful, especially since I couldn't muster the motivation to get things in order early. I'm not typically a procrastinator but have I ever mentioned I do my best work at the last minute? Every year I tell myself that I am going to plan better the next year but our fall schedules just seem to prevent that from happening.
As hard as it was, we have been trying to maintain some semblance of our dynamic but were both left so frustrated. I continued to do all the things He asked of me but the physical aspect of our D/s just wasn't there (the training, punishments, spankings, etc.). I never imagined that I would miss spankings so much. Shhhh...don't tell Him I said that!
All day every day, I felt so numb and disconnected, like I was just going through the motions. I wanted nothing more than to count the hours until I could be with Him and doing what pleased Him. But then left disappointed because circumstances continually dictated that we put ourselves on the back burner.
We did have a wonderful Christmas though and it's like I have this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can finally think more clearly. All the family functions are over, the presents are put away and my house is back in order. Something else about me...clutter and mess REALLY makes me anxious. Yesterday I spent the whole day cleaning out all the rooms and filling up the truck with load after load of stuff to take to Goodwill. It feels so good to look around and see things so neat and tidy.
Master must be feeling the weight lifted as well because He announced yesterday that come the New Year, we will hitting the reset button. He intends to get back to training and has already given me some new "resolutions" for the coming year. This was exciting news but also scary since things have been so relaxed between us lately.
So...here's to hitting the reset button!!