The task had been set for weeks. No longer could I wrestle with the conflicted emotions in my head.
Today had to be the day.
No more stalling...
No more waiting and hoping He might change His mind.
Though this task was not something completely foreign to me, this time would be different.
This task would push the limits of my exhibitionism.
At first, I can only hear the sound of my heartbeat thumping wildly in my ears. Despite the fear clutching in my chest, I slowly remove all my clothes and stand completely exposed amongst the trees.
Then, off in the distance, I hear the soothing roll of thunder.
I begin to focus on the rustle of leaves dancing in the wind.
I try to relax, savoring the feel of a warm summer breeze caressing every inch of my skin.
Crouched down and leaning back against the rough bark of a pine tree, I touch myself, just one of the parts of me that is yours.
Even though my mind is still on alert, still somewhat worried that someone might see, my body is already on the edge.
As I get closer, I can focus only on you and my all consuming need.
My desperate need to do what pleases you, because in the end, that's the only thing that matters..
You may not be close enough to hear but I whisper into the wind, "Daddy, may I please".