Looking at all these toys, one might think that I rather enjoyed myself but THAT was not my lot in life last week.
MASTER'S ASSIGNMENT: I was to ride home from work each day with these little friends tormenting me.
RULE: No orgasm all week
I had already been out of commission for the 2 weeks prior so finding out about this little assignment didn't sound like much fun, for me anyways.
Monday and Tuesday- I was to use the clothespins and the purple butt plug.
Wednesday and Thursday- Add the wireless bullet vibrator for my pussy.
Friday- Add the other vibrator for external clit stimulation.
Luckily, I made it through the week with no "accidental" orgasms and no car accidents. I'm not sure how I would have explained any of it to a police officer.
Every ride home, I was so turned on I could barely stand it. Knowing that I would be denied any release anytime soon, I still just felt alive and happy to be doing as He wished. As soon as I got out of the car, there were kids and house duties to tend to, so I was able to put away my toys and get on with the rest of my day.
But every night, after working so hard to please Him, being good in every possible way I could think of, I rolled over and went to bed horny as hell...fighting the urge to cry, beg, and plead for His affection. This time, I would find acceptance and not allow myself to break down...but I secretly hoped His resolve would break. No such luck!!
By Friday, my 45 minute drive home almost made me crazy.
The feeling of complete fullness.
The constant humming both inside and outside my pussy.
The ache in my nipples.
No doubt, the other days felt good but adding the clit stimulation was sending me over the edge. I could have fully enjoyed myself right there sitting in traffic.
Oh, it would have been so easy to allow myself an orgasm. He would never have known but the guilt for disobeying and/or being dishonest would have been a much harder burden to carry. So I fought the urge until it was almost making me sick to my stomach.
Thankfully, I was rewarded for all my hard work later that night with a nice play session including the violet wand and the vibrator. Finally after being teased and edged until tears were streaming down my face, I was allowed the release that I so desperately needed.
Some people don't prescribe to the philosophy of orgasm denial/control. Honestly, I can't say that I like it a whole lot myself. However, it boils down to acceptance and trust. These are the two things I remind myself of often.
Acceptance is understanding that I am His to do with as He desires in all things, not just the things I enjoy. Trust is simply having faith in Him, the path that He chooses for us and the decisions that are made to get us there.