I've seen this topic floating around lately on Fetlife. Does it make your Master or D-type less of a dominant because they participate in certain household duties?
Well, in my opinion it certainly does not make me feel as if He is less Masterly. If anything, it is another way that I feel He is always taking care of us.
In our situation, we both work demanding and high stress jobs. There is no way I could get it all done by myself and run the kids everywhere they need and want to go. Well, I could do it, but I don't think I would have any energy left for other wifely duties without His help.
We have spent years figuring out a system of what works for us, but it wasn't always easy though. The early years of our marriage were spent battling over who did what, who should do what, and who had it worse. Finally, I think we came to understand that it didn't really matter. It's all just stuff that needed to be done. Eventually, we just became very comfortable that even though our roles seem somewhat reversed at times, it worked and that's OK.
One specific example is the laundry. He does it all and always has. He is very specific in how the laundry is to be done (maybe a little OCD even). Don't get me wrong, I can and will do it when I need to but I certainly don't mind that being His thing.
I try to do the majority of the maintaining the indoor cleaning like sweeping, mopping, scrubbing, dusting, and vacuuming while He takes care of all the outdoor duties.
I would say cooking is 50/50. He definitely has a lot more creativity when it comes to menus and I absolutely love the pride He takes in food and plating presentation. He even loves to use the crock pot! I know it seems contrary to the M/s dynamic but He really enjoys putting His heart into cooking and serving a good meal to all His family.
Shhhh....don't tell but I think He really enjoys being completely outnumbered by the females in the house. Wife, 2 daughters, 3 female dogs...He doesn't stand a chance:)
Now that I mention dogs, being the "Treat Man" is contribution enough for Him. Unless, I am just completely unavailable, He doesn't deal with the feeding, walking, vet visits, throw ups, or occasional accidents.
While I take care of most of the day to day stuff with our girls, He is a wonderful dad and completely engaged. Where they are concerned, there isn't anything He won't do if I just ask for His help. Most importantly, He is always there when they need Him. They always love His funny stories and most of the time appreciate His sage advice. While my dad was around when I was growing up, He wasn't what I would consider "present". He had the philosophy that the man's only responsibility was to make a living for the family and the kids were solely the mom's responsibility. So finding a man that wanted to be part of raising children was a big thing for me in finding a life long partner.
Recently, He's even gotten more involved in the grocery shopping. He price shops, studies the nutritional info and helps me with the couponing. Is it scary that He is almost more excited than me when we come across a good deal?
So do I respect Him any less for sharing the load? Not at all. If anything I think it has helped us build a healthier respect for each other. I have no doubt if I stayed at home, it is likely that I would take care of all the household chores. Actually, I would feel that is what I should do.
But since we aren't in that situation, it's more productive to share responsibilities based on who might be better at or enjoy that particular task, irrespective of "traditional" household or gender roles.
What are your thoughts? Is there anything that your Master or D-type does that could be considered not particularly dom-like? Does it affect your ability to respect their status?