Life Since Loan

It's been exactly one month since the weekend of my loan.  And while Heron and I have described in great detail what happened during that weekend and directly upon my return, I haven't really discussed how we continued to cope in the days and weeks afterwards. 

I'm not typically one to need, or even desire much aftercare when it comes to most things Heron and I do.  But in this particular situation, it's probably not difficult to imagine that proper aftercare was crucial to my ability to process and accept everything that happened and to do it in the most positive way possible.  Working through all the emotions wasn't going to take just a couple of hours, or even a couple of days.  Aftercare was going to be an on-going process until it wasn't necessary anymore.

The one thing that was quite obvious after I returned on Sunday was that we needed more time together to rest and recuperate.  Heron insisted that I call in to work and take that following day off, and He did as well so He could stay home to look after me.

His process of "reclaiming" me had been yet another intense experience but from that point forward, His focus became helping to build me back up, both physically and mentally. 

The entire next week, I was required to do very little. All household chores and tasks were suspended. Any physical exertion, outside of just normal day to day activities, was reserved solely for intimacy with him. He pampered me in just about every way possible which I thoroughly enjoyed even though I tried not to get too used to it. 

We also spent more time that I can even comprehend just talking that week.  Heron wanted, or rather NEEDED, to know every last detail of my experience.  It's how He processes and being quite honest, it wasn't just me who had a lot to work through.

But there was so much, so many little details that I didn't remember until even days later.  While He knew the major highlights of my time away, the depths of the story unfolded bit by bit as my brain and body relaxed enough to regurgitate it all.  It was odd how I could be doing the most random thing and then out of the blue, some thought or memory would flash in front of me.  He was always right there ready to listen and talk about it.    

At times, the conversations between us were quite emotional.  And I am thankful he exposed that vulnerable side of Himself.  It proved to me that He didn't take His choice, or my experience, lightly and that He really was bearing the full weight of His decision. The honesty in our discussions kept me from retreating to that quiet place inside myself.  It's in that quiet place where my thoughts get confused and lost, and my mind settles into the darkness.  He was determined to keep me from going there.   

But eventually, even I grew pretty tired of thinking and talking about it.  Routine and resuming life as we knew it was what I craved.  Kneeling in front of Heron exactly one week after coming home, I expressed how I needed our structure again and He agreed it was time. 

Heron was very fond of the greeting and serving protocol that I had learned so those were implemented into our normal routine starting that second week. And with the soreness pretty much finally gone from my body, we also resumed position training.  This was something Heron was unhappy with Himself for neglecting. Not only was it a good refresher but a good way to ease my body back into light physical demands.  He kept exercise still limited though.    

We have still continued to talk about it but on a much less emotional level.  Usually it's because He has some kind of question about something I have already told him and is just looking for clarification.   Sometimes we talk about where we go from here.  I know this won't be the end of my challenges, which is a little scary.  

I think we both recognize how it has changed us and how we have grown both as individuals and as a couple.  But overall, I am amazed at the profound positive impact it's made in our relationship and our dynamic.  It's almost as if we have spent this past month in our own special bubble, nurturing the closeness that this experience brought us.

Fly Free (A Post By Heron)

He stared up at the beautiful slave as he sat, one leg folded over the other in the arm chair in their bedroom.  She presented herself, hands clasped behind her head, legs spread slightly apart.  Eyes downcast.  A thousand thoughts raced through his mind as she stood before him.

He had loaned her out to another for the weekend.  The Mistress that he had given her to had pushed her hard.  Tested her.  Challenged her limits. Marked her.

Had he done the right thing? What if he had failed her?  What if he had not prepared her properly for what had happened? What was the look on her face?  Was she afraid that he wouldn’t love her after the things she had done? These thoughts ran through his head as he stopped, just short of touching her.

He knew there was only one way for him to find out.  He wanted to reach out, stroke her cheek, but he didn’t think that would ease the thoughts that were bouncing around in her mind.  He wanted to release her from worry, but he wasn’t sure how.  So he did the only thing he knew how to do….

When he rose and moved towards her she flinched slightly. 

He spoke to her cruelly asking if the marks belonged to the Mistress.  She could only nod.  He touched her tits.

“Did the Mistress whip these?”

“Yes sir”, she barely whispered.

Moving behind her, he touched the bruises on her butt.  “And did she leave these?”

Again she whispered, “Yes sir.”

Circling her again, he ran his fingers along her jaw and turned her head.  “What about the bruises on your neck? Did the Mistress have other men suck on your neck?”

The first tear appeared in the corner of her eye.  Again, she whispered, “Yes sir”.

“Did the Mistress allow men in your mouth?  Did you suck cock?  Did you swallow their come?”

Even as she nodded, the tears streamed down her cheeks.

“I know what you did and how many times.  You danced for other men.  You begged for their cocks.  And then you sucked them.  Didn’t you?”

More tears and a choked “Yes sir.”

He began to fire words at her. “Do you know what the Mistress was doing?  She was passing you around.  You were nothing more than a piece of meat. As a matter of fact, you had to beg like a whore.  Right?”

She sobbed slightly, tears streaming freely.  “Yes sir.”

“You. Are. A. Whore.”

He spat the words at her.  He thought that this might be her greatest fear.  The look behind her eyes, but he wouldn't know until he spoke the cruel phrase. 

She tried to hold her position, but as she heard his words she broke and began to sob uncontrollably. 

“No”, he said forcefully, raising his voice for the first time.

“You will not cry.  I will take all of those marks back.  You belong to me and it’s time I reclaim you.”

He held her for a moment, allowing her to regain her composure.  Holding her close.

Placing her back in position, he examined her breasts and asked her what the Mistress had used to whip her tits.  When she replied, he grabbed the implement from his bag.  “I’m going to whip them harder.  These are mine”, he said simply.

He used the leather on her tits as she sobbed.  He stopped using the leather only after the breasts were an angry bright red.

Then he bent her over.  Grabbing a cane, he walked back over to her.  “Your ass is mine.  I will not stop until I have covered all of her marks.”

He struck her over and over.  She sobbed freely, but didn’t move, even as he crisscrossed her ass with welts.  

When he was satisfied that he had covered the Mistresses bruises with marks of his own, he stopped.  He could only stare at her.  She was bent over, sobbing and shaking.

“Move to the bed”, he ordered.

Sobbing softly, she did as required.

He positioned her and traced the barely visible words on her stomach.  “What did this say,” he asked, even though he knew the answer.  For the Mistress had written two words on her midriff.  The words noted her for what she was. She had been required to parade around with it all day for everyone to see. 

She could barely bring herself to say the words, “Cum slut, sir.”

He grabbed a marker and moved next to her.  He wrote over the words to supply his own…Heron’s nyghtbird. She couldn’t help but smile, as he said, “There.  Now I own that as well.”

He traced the bite marks on her thighs.  She winced in pain as he did so.  “Did she bite you?  Did she mark you with her teeth?”

“Yes,” she replied softly.

He lowered his mouth to her bruised thigh.  He kissed the wound softly and she moaned.  He took her hand and placed it on the side of his face.  “This is going to hurt.  I’m taking that bite mark as my own and it may make you scream.  I want you to push me away when the pain is too much.”

He looked at her once and then his teeth covered the bruise.  He heard her cry out, not caring how much it hurt her.  Harder and harder he bit, waiting for her to push him away.  His teeth dug into her and he felt her hand on his face begin to move.

To his surprise, she cupped the back of his head and pulled him down harder on the wound.  He increased the intensity and heard her gasp in pain, but still she held him to her flesh.   Finally, afraid that he would draw blood, he pulled himself away from her and stared at her.

She was panting, but he understood the look in her eyes all too well.

He moved on top of her.  She moaned softly and greedily as he slowly slid himself into her. 

Then he grabbed her head and turned, exposing the marks on her neck. Whispering softly, he said, “Your neck is mine.”

He lowered his mouth to the bruises. She gasped as she felt his lips touch her neck.  First he kissed the marks softly, then biting and finally sucking hard on her neck.  Once he was satisfied that he had covered the bruises with his own, he turned her head the other way and lowered his mouth to her again.

Then he was sucking and biting again in an attempt to erase all traces of the men who had marked her.

Finally satisfied, he turned her head to face him.  “Look at me,” he ordered.

She faced him, barely able to look in his eyes.  

“All of the marks that were made have been covered with mine.  There is nothing that you did, that you weren’t supposed to do.  You were required to obey.  To submit.  My marks will erase any guilt, for there should be none.  My marks take away any self-doubt, for you were required to serve her.  My marks take away any thought that I would not love you. Do you understand?”

She nodded.  Tears began to fill her eyes once again.

“Do not cry my love,” he whispered as he kissed her softly.  He moved his hand underneath the small of her back and pulled her tightly to him. He began to kiss her again and again.  She responded hungrily.

Their bodies began to move together.  A harmonic dance they’ve practiced thousands of times before.  He knew her body well and could tell she was nearing her climax.  “When you orgasm,” he said to her, “You are my cumslut.  You are my whore. You were not marked by anyone but me.  You are mine!”

With his words, her orgasm neared, “Please sir may I come, “she cried out.

“Fly free my nyghtbird,” he whispered softly in her ear.

And she did.

Coming Home

Continued from The Long Night and the Girl at the Club: this slave's account of being loaned for the weekend.  

Thoughts consumed my mind as I drove home late that Sunday morning.  His instructions were to be home no later than noon and the last thing I wanted to do was displease Him by starting off with a punishment for being late. 

After being completely naked for two days, it almost seemed odd to be wearing clothes again.  Every part of my body, from my jaws to my ankles, ached and was fatigued.  But all I wanted was to be in my Master's arms, to know that I had made Him proud and that everything between us would be okay. 

As I looked at myself in the rear view mirror, I couldn't help but wonder how I was going to hide the large bruises on either side of my neck, the very obvious remnants from a game of "who could leave the largest hickey".  

I then looked down and very gently touched the swollen and extremely tender bite marks left on each of my thighs by the Mistress. They were already bruising but would be hidden more easily than the marks on my neck. 

The faded phrase "Cum Slut", my given name for the weekend, was hidden underneath my shirt.  I thought back to how the group of people in our condo had stood around watching while the words had been neatly written across my pelvis and how I had been required to wear my humiliating name all day Saturday so that everyone at the pool would know who I was.  I felt a bit protected hiding behind sunglasses but apparently that wasn't disguise enough. People still stared and some even asked, "are you the girl from the club last night?"
         
But overall, Saturday was tame by comparison to Friday night, and for that, I was thankful.  I had been unable to fall asleep after all that had happened so I was running on nothing but fumes and the last reserves of adrenaline.

My gut instinct was that she was planning something else big for that night.  I stayed on pins and needles all day and my stomach churned from the lack of sleep and the thought of what was to come. Not only was I afraid of being the entertainment yet again, but this time I feared being used even harder and longer than the night before and with no rest, I wasn't sure I would be able to handle it. 

As luck would have it, everyone else was exhausted too and ended up relaxing for the evening. 

While I spent the day still technically "in service", following protocol and rules, the mood was much more relaxed.  It was nice just spending some time together with the Mistress more as friends.

In case you ever get the chance, playing naked Twister is actually a whole lot of fun!

I was also the afforded the opportunity to provide some pleasure to the Mistress.  A couple of times actually!

And when joining the Mistress and her boyfriend in bed that night, they requested that I put on a little show just for them.  Normally, I would have felt uncomfortable masturbating in front of someone else, especially in such an up-close and personal kind of way. But I guess after everything else I had already done, it just didn't seem like a big deal at that point and was actually quite enjoyable.

Laying on the bed, I played with my pussy as the Mistress required.  After I had been pleasuring myself for several minutes, the Mistress and her boyfriend began fucking right there beside me.  The thought of them watching me, while I watched them, was incredibly erotic and pushed me right over the edge of an earth shaking orgasm.       

All the images from the weekend, both the pleasurable and the painful, played out in my head over and over again as I drove.  Being the perfectionist that I tend to be, I even thought of the ways I could have been better.  But everything seemed almost surreal.  It was quite a lot to process and it was obviously going to take time before I knew how I really felt about it all. 

The house was quiet when I walked in the door.  Looking for Master, I climbed the stairs, my sore legs reminding me of the exertions of the weekend.  I found Him waiting, sitting in the armchair in our bedroom.  As I approached Him, He stopped me with an icy tone in His voice.

I wasn't expecting to see such darkness in His eyes. 

Primed for the Night

Continued from Initiation of Cum Slut: this slave's account of being loaned for a weekend...

After returning from dinner, the slave prepared and served drinks.  She had learned very quickly how to properly present in this situation as the Mistress is very particular about protocol.  Kneeling with her arms outstretched and above her head, the Mistress accepted the drink from the slave's hands and then requested the large duffel bag of toys that had been packed and sent with the slave by her Master.  The Mistress seemed quite pleased as she opened the bag and looked over the assortment of goodies.  Settling on the 3 layer leather slapper, she instructed the slave to stand and bend over.   

There were several other men sitting close by, watching. Since she had already been punished in front them earlier, there wasn't much shock in being completely exposed and spanked in front of them now.  The first few swats stung only a little.  Then the Mistress told her to bend all the way over, touching her hands to the ground.  Still wearing the very high heels, this was a bit difficult but she managed by to touch her finger tips to the ground by bending her knees slightly.  Each swat to her ass was harder than the previous.  As the leather landed lower down where the skin was stretched tight across the back of her legs just under her cheeks, it took her breath away. She yelped and crumpled to the ground when one well placed slap caught her directly between the legs.  The tears instantly flowed.

She could barely get back into position when ordered to do so.  The Mistress had found her weakness that quickly.  Pussy spanking is almost unbearable for her.  After a moment, she resumed her position but braced herself for the next set.  With trembling legs, she was instructed to turn around, this time facing the Mistress. Again, the Mistress honed in on her weakness.  "You like having your nipples slapped, don't you?"

She answered truthfully, "No, Ma'am".  

She was instructed to put her arms behind her, arch her back to push her breasts out, and tilt her head back.  The Mistress stood to her right side and used the slapper, hitting each of her nipples over and over again.  Every time her body instinctively pulled forward to protect her breasts, the Mistress scolded her and demanded she pull her head back again to expose her breasts.  The Mistress began taunting her, demanding to hear swear words. 

The slave's mind was reeling at this point.  Not only is she typically forbidden from cursing, but she also knows that she can only process pain when she is quiet and stoic.  Almost unable to form words, she continued to endure the leather as long as she could.

The Mistress kept on until the tears turned to sobs and finally the flood gate of swear words broke free.  She was cursing, pleading, and begging for the Mistress to stop.  And upon hearing the words she wanted to hear, the blows ceased.. As the slave stood still crying and shaking, the Mistress began gently wiping the tears from her face and assuring her that her tears were wanted. 

After asking permission to use the restroom, she was alone for a minute trying to compose herself and thought how, again, this was a first for her. Accepting pain is simply an act of submission, and never before had anyone else, besides her Master, pushed her limits of pain tolerance.

The Mistress stopped her at some point a little while later when she was in the bedroom and acknowledged that she could be tough and demanding.  But even more important, she wanted the slave to know that at any point she needed a break, she need only say so as long as it was communicated between just them and not in front of anyone.  It was a sweet moment because despite how hard her limits were pushed, the slave understood that neither wanted to put their friendship in jeopardy.

It couldn't have been but a few minutes later, while she was kneeling on the patio, that the Mistress instructed her to move towards one of the men, the Mistress's boyfriend, and was ordered to take his cock in her mouth.  After a few minutes the Mistress stopped her and pointed to one of the other men, only this this time, she had to beg for his cock.  Her mind went blank.

It was one thing to beg for her Master's cock, but someone she barely knew, that was a different situation all together.  Lucky for her, he gave in pretty quickly, sparing her further embarrassment.  As she moved around to the third man, he would not be so easily persuaded.  She pleaded, letting the man know how bad she wanted it and was rewarded.  This experience had been, by far, the biggest challenge for her so far that night.

Each cock had only received a few minutes of attention before the Mistress stopped her.  She was still kneeling as the Mistress petted her and brought her face up close to her own, lips parted. 

"Do you want to kiss me?"

"Yes, Ma'am" the slave quickly answered.  Secretly, she had wondered what this moment would be like since the day they had met a couple years ago.

But the Mistress's response caught the slave off guard.  "Do you really expect me to kiss that mouth after it's been on all those cocks?".

The slave flushed.  Nothing like a little added dose of humiliation.

The slave offered to go brush her teeth and upon returning was finally allowed to kiss the Mistress.

The evening was growing late and there had been talk of going to the nightclub on the property. The Mistress changed into a short, tight black party dress.  Kneeling on the floor, the slave slid the heels onto the Mistress's feet.

The chosen outfit for the slave was something the Master had packed and is one of His favorite outfits. It is a merely a bunch of straps and nothing else. Each strap accentuating the slave's body...and her nakedness.    

actual outfit-photo previously taken by Heron

Still wearing her heels, tweezer clamps with bells adorned her nipples, and she was filled with a butt plug.

Before the group left, the Mistress explained the rules for the rest of the night.

-You will only refer to me only as Mistress
-You will only refer to yourself only as cum slut
-You will keep your eyes lowered and not speak unless I tell you otherwise
-You will walk one step behind me at all times.

With that, the pink leash was clasped to the ring at the neck of her outfit, and she was led out the door for what would surely be a night never forgotten...

Inititation of the Cum Slut

Continued from Into the Lion(ess)'s Den: This slave's account of being loaned for the weekend... 

Walking naked back down the steps to the car to retrieve her belongings, she realized just how quickly the tone was set. But it wasn't until dinner that she fully appreciated how intense this experience was going to be.
 
Dinner was planned with some friends of the Mistress staying at the condo just below and everyone was saying their hello's when someone asked the slave's name.  The Mistress quickly answered, "This is cum slut".  The woman seemed a bit amused at first but then, seriously, asked for her real name. The Mistress didn't give an inch.  And even when the slave was questioned directly, she followed the Mistress's lead and answered the same way.
 
Making her way to the patio, the Mistress took a seat, with the slave following right along behind.  Gingerly, she knelt down on the rough concrete beside the chair, trying carefully not to scrape herself while shifting around to get comfortable.  Thankfully, it wasn't long before she was instructed to find a couple wash cloths to protect her knees.

The Mistress herself wasn't eating but did ask the slave if she would like something.  Her stomach had been in knots all day but was also entirely empty.  Suspecting she might need her strength, she swallowed the lump in her throat and squeaked out the words "Yes, Ma'am".

She was to make a plate and bring it to the Mistress, but she had to crawl both to the kitchen and back.  Again, she tried to be careful as to not scrape her knees on the concrete and she was pretty sure people were watching and talking as she crawled away, but she tried to remain focused on her task and being gracious to those that had prepared the meal.

Crawling back, one hand on the floor and the other holding the plate, she handed the plate to Mistress.  "Did you make it how you would like it?". She again answered "Yes, Ma'am.

The Mistress set the plate down on the ground, instructing her to place her hands on either side of the plate and eat.  She had been made to eat and drink on the ground like a dog before, but never in front of anyone had she been humiliated in such a way.  Mostly people carried on conversation as if she wasn't there.  Sometimes people did talk to her but anytime a compliment was offered, like how well she was using her tongue to help bring the food into her mouth, she made sure to show her appreciation by kissing that person's foot.

After her initial arrival that evening, it had not taken long for her to receive her first punishment for unintentionally breaking this rule.  She had been put over the Mistress's knee and given five very hard swats with the sole of Mistress's sandal. Almost instantly, tears had welled in her eyes but she fought them back.  Not only was it extremely painful, but it was the first time she had ever been punished in front of people.  She felt not only did her failure let the Mistress down, but also her Master.
   
Slowly but surely she was able to clean her plate.  Eating a burrito without any hands is a bit tricky but she was extremely was glad to be able to do it with a bit of grace and skill.

After taking her plate back to the kitchen, the Mistress had more plans for her and she quickly became a bit of entertainment.

Crawling to the center of the room, she was instructed to kneel and then lay back, touching her head to the floor and keeping her legs bent up underneath her.  She was completely exposed as this position forced her body into a natural arch.  Several people stood around watching as Mistress told her to touch herself.  At that moment, she wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.  All kinds of thoughts tried to flow through her mind because, again, this was something she had never done before.  But rather than allow her mind to run away with her, she simply closed her eyes, shutting out everything, and went on auto-pilot.

As she rubbed circles around her clit, she heard the Mistress encouraging her to push her fingers to play with her hole and even probe further inside.  The position was incredibly stressful and didn't allow her the same reach as it would if her legs were out from under her.  She could then hear the Mistress talking to one of the men, who she didn't find out until later was also a submissive.  He was being offered the opportunity to touch the cum slut.  The slave didn't hear him answer but knew all too well what was coming.

His fingers probed her opening and the Mistress demanded to know if it was wet.  He answered that it was.   The Mistress then asked if wanted his cock sucked.  The cum slut was made to suck his fingers clean before sitting up and being presented with his cock.  She took it in her mouth, squeezed her eyes closed even harder, and knew that all eyes in the room were on them.

Mistress taunted him asking if he wanted to cum and when he said yes, she told the slave to lay back again.  He stroked himself as he watched her resume playing with her pussy, finally spilling his pleasure on her body.

Allowed to get up and go clean herself off in the bathroom, she happened to catch a glimpse at a clock. It was only 8:00.  She had only just arrived two short hours earlier and was in shock by all that had already happened.  She was afraid to imagine what else the rest of the night would hold...

Into the Lion(ess)'s Den

Continued from And She Thought She Had the Weekend Free: This slave's account of being loaned for the weekend...

As requested, she sent one last message letting her Master know she had arrived safely.  Saying goodbye to Him in the parking lot of her office earlier that afternoon nearly tore her heart out.  She confided to Him that she felt like a kid being sent away to camp, not how she thought the weekend was going to go by a long shot.   

The two hour ride felt like forever, yet somehow seemed not quite long enough.  No one else had ever dominated her and the fear of that great unknown played out in her head over and over.  

Her instructions to start were simple. 

Wear something easily removed

Heels but no bra or panties

Kneel with eyes downcast and wait for Mistress's foot to be presented.  Kiss it and await further instruction.

She sat inside her car, just outside the condo trying to still her mind. She had already changed into a black strapless sundress before leaving work, but used those last moments in the car to slip into her heels and out of her panties.

As she walked towards the door, the sound of her heels pounded across the wood decking almost as loudly as the sound of her heartbeat thumping in her ears. And once she stood in front of the door and knocked, she wasn't sure if she should be kneeling when the door was opened or wait to be brought inside. 

She erred on the side of caution but when the door swung open she realized quickly she had been mistaken and was already embarrassed.  She quickly stood up and the gentleman that had opened the door told her she could resume her position in the living room area.  The Mistress's voice could be heard coming from the outside patio when she was informed of the slave's presence but the slave continued to kneel and wait.

Seconds clicked by, an eternity, before she heard the stern instruction, "Slut, you come out here to me".  Not knowing whether to stand or crawl, she chose to crawl and was happy that this seemed pleasing.  She also couldn't help but notice how beautiful the Mistress looked with nothing but a sarong covering her from the waist down.

Before coming any closer, she was ordered to stand and remove her dress. As she stood completely bared, except for the heels on her feet, she turned, presenting her entire body to the Mistress and her guest.  She knew she should feel embarrassed, but their obvious pleasure as she bent over to display all of her assets, actually put her at ease.     

The slave then resumed crawling and once she reached the Mistress's chair, she kissed the foot presented.  This act alone is a simple reminder of how far she has come.  There was a time when the thought of touching someone's feet would have probably been some type of limit for her, much less kissing them.

Now that the proper greeting had taken place, the two women stood and hugged as friends typically do and the slave was sent to bring in her bags and get settled in...

And She Thought She Had the Weekend Free...

At the very end of my last post, I mentioned that I had some special plans for this past weekend.  I had been invited by a friend within the lifestyle to go clothing optional resort for the weekend, which was exciting as it was something I had never done before.  

Through a crazy turn of events, I was literally hitting PUBLISH on that post Thursday night when I got a text on my phone.  My friend was asking if Heron had given me any particular rules or tasks for the weekend.  She then told me that I was free to give Heron her number if He cared to "conspire" on anything. Now, I knew she was pretty well experienced and quite tough as a Mistress so this was both exciting and scary for me.    

In the span of a few short minutes, the two of them were talking.  Even though I had never "played" or participated in any type of scene with her, we both trust her implicitly.  They discussed ideas she had, ideas He had, limits, etc.  And just like that, my weekend went from that of rest and relaxation to something far different.  Heron agreed to my being her slave for the weekend.

Yes...I was being loaned!

Since I returned home Sunday, I have had a lot to process. The experience was unlike anything I had ever been through.  Some of it was really good, but some of it pushed me FAR past my comfort zone into places I never thought possible.  

Slowly but surely I intend to write about some of it, probably not all. As always, there will be pieces I keep for myself and Heron.  To be completely honest, I debated writing about this at all.  But in all fairness, it is a huge leap in my journey and now part of my growth as a slave.

I realize some of it may be uncomfortable to read about, some of you may even have very strong feelings about it. 

Please keep in mind, this is the dynamic we have and it is consensual.  I trust Heron enough to do with me as He wishes, even if that means He entrusts me to someone else. I knew there was a point in time this may come.  I think the scary realization for me is that I am beginning to believe that there is nothing I won't do to please Him.    

He carries the responsibilities for the choices made and as I re-tell the story, He will be glad to address any questions or comments Himself. He has had a great deal to process as well and I think we are doing a great job of that together.