Back to Routines...and New Experiences

Vacation was great and the beach was absolutely beautiful.  Oh...wait...we did see a shark!!  It was like a scene from Jaws...people running out of the water, frantically looking for their children.  The lifeguards paddled out and confirmed it was ONLY about a 6 foot long hammerhead.  Crazy...huh?

But no matter how nice vacation is...it's always nice to get back home to your own home, your own bed, and all your other comforts.

I did manage to get myself in a little bit of trouble on the last day of the trip though.  Guess just  being out of our normal element and routine, I was just feeling very full of myself and got a bit sassy.  It was all meant very playfully and Daddy seemed to really enjoy the fact that I was digging quite a hole for myself.

Later that evening, He sent the kids down to the beach because we needed to pack...or so I thought.  As soon as they left, He rummaged through the kitchen drawer in the condo, pulled out a plastic slotted spatula and pointed to the bedroom. 

Oooo...I might have poked the bear one too many times! 

He bent me over the side of the bed and immediately brought the spatula down on each of my cheeks.  I can't even describe the pain.  I've been spanked plenty of times with a spatula but this time it was so intense that my body immediately tried to bolt back upright.  He tried forcing me back  down with His free hand and after only a few more strikes, the spatula broke. 

As He returned to the kitchen, I buried my face in the bed trying to hold back the tears, unsuccessfully I might add and truly regretting my smart mouth.  He returned this time with a wooden spoon and continued paddling hard and fast. There was no chance to count like usual to focus my mind, I just held my breath and waited for it to end.  Within moments afterwards, the kids returned with impeccable timing as always, but just like that, all was right in our world again.

Life since we got home has been crazy getting ready for the kids to start school.  I really enjoy the summertime without worrying about sports, homework, bedtimes, etc. but just like our D/s relationship, our family functions better with structure and routine.  The youngest started middle school this week and the oldest will be starting college in about 10 days.  So, needless to say, I am very happy to be returning to a normal type schedule.  

On a different note, there are a couple of things happening this month that I am SUPER excited about.  Both should be fun but will push my limits of comfortability a bit, perhaps alot.  I'm not going give away one of them just yet but the other happens this weekend and I have been looking forward to it now for about a month.  A friend, someone I met at the very first munch I ever attended a couple years ago, invited me to spend the weekend at a clothing optional resort!! 

This was an opportunity I just couldn't resist and Daddy wouldn't have wanted me to miss out on it  anyways.  He is always supportive and encouraging me to experience life and have fun, even if it's not something that he isn't interested in doing. 

So...as they say...let the good times roll!!

Reflections of Last Night

It isn’t often that I need an emotional purge or “catharsis”.  And it is even rarer occasions that Daddy will use physical pain to bring about such a cleansing.  But last night I guess He saw all the signs and decided that was exactly what was in order.

He didn't even let me choose and bring Him the implement this day.  This day, He chose the bamboo cane himself.  I laid across the bed, bracing for the first strike.  It stung and I flinched, but almost instantly, I could feel my body relaxing and my breathing slowly returning to normal.  Still counting in my head, the number grew closer to 20 and each strike hurt a little more than the one before.  By 25, I was biting down on the pillow and trying hard very hard not to squirm.  Daddy noticed and commented on the faintest of moisture beginning to develop in my eyes. 

This is where oftentimes He would stop but not this day.  This day, He ordered me up and to the walk-in closet.  Waiting for Him, I assumed my pose.  Facing the corner of the wall, I laced my fingers behind my head and moved my feet just shoulder width apart.  I could hear His footsteps across the tile of the bathroom floor as He approached and stood behind me.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the wooden spoon in His right hand.  He proceeded to paddle me with the spoon, 2 swats to each cheek at a time, finally stopping when the count in my head reached 50.  

As soon as He was finished, I turned around to face Him.  Dropping to my knees as I am expected to do, I filled my mouth with His smooth, hard flesh.  I didn't expect Him to stop me so quickly but He did and pulled me into His arms, wrapping me in His blanket of safety.  The tears finally began to slowly flow.

It very much took me by surprise when He turned me around again, grabbing my hands, and told me  to place them above my head and brace myself against the corner of the wall.  

This is when the hardest of the paddling began.  My flesh was already stinging and sore and I hadn't been expecting the spanking to continue, which made it all harder to handle.  After 10 really hard strikes, the tears flowed just a little freer.  But it wasn't until the next set of...honestly at this point, I don't know how many...that the dam finally broke.  Each strike brought harder sobs as I stood there helpless, while His voice coaxed and encouraged me to let it all go. 

When the spanking stopped, His body engulfed me, and we stood there together in the closet while my tears continued pouring down His chest.

I think for the first time, I realized and really appreciated just how much I needed that release. I have a really bad habit of stuffing things down, burying the emotions and trying to remain stoic.  For what....I don't know, except that I hate to cry.

Of course, you can see by the picture...I had a lasting reminder even into today. 

Playing Alone

Wednesday night I could feel all the tell-tale signs.  Certain parts of my body would soon be out of commission for Daddy's use.  As I happened to be showering off after our walk, He came in, pulled open the shower door, and took in a glance. 

When He closed the door and started to walk away, I squirmed around trying to find the words. 

Just so you are aware, I think come tomorrow, I might be wearing my red necklace. 

Anyways, my not so subtle hint seemed to go fairly unnoticed until I was standing naked in front of the vanity mirror and drying my hair.  He came back in the bathroom and patted my butt.  Leaning close to my ear, He told me not to bother coming out of the bedroom until I had given myself five orgasms.

Not really the direction I was expecting but who's complaining...right?  He closed the bedroom door behind Him and disappeared to the office, leaving me to my business.

I was aroused, but not really 5 orgasms aroused, so I started plundering through the toy cabinet looking for the heavy artillery that could help me get the job done. 

Well...He didn't specifically say anything was off limits!   

Daddy got quite a surprise and chuckled out loud when He came back in the room.  At that point, I had only gotten through number 4 and there was chaos all over the bedroom. 

Towel on the bed...

Magic wand attachment lying on the nightstand table...

Kong well used and lying in the sink...

And I was sitting on the exercises bench looking sheepish, holding the magic wand, with a wooden spoon lying beside me.  I'm a little embarrassed to admit what I actually was doing.  Let's just say at that point...I needed a little extra stimulation if number 5 was ever going to happen. 

I have to give mc kitten over at Pillow Talk credit because her recent post and some of the follow-up comments made me reflect back on this task of masturbating alone.  I really admire those who are more comfortable doing this in the presence of their significant other.

Certainly, I prefer that He is an active participant because I need and crave that emotional connection and let's face it...it's just more fun that way! 

But this isn't always how He wants it.  Sometimes, He just wants me to touch or please myself. Possibly, it's for His own entertainment. At times, it's for my own build up or relief of sexual tension. But I venture to say, in most cases, is just because He can. 

Maybe I'm a bit odd, but I actually would rather do this alone.  Of course, I will "perform" for Him if asked but I don't know...I just feel so awkward and self conscious, particularly if He is just watching and not participating.

As long as we have been together, it really doesn't make sense and I don't understand why, but I do know this shyness ultimately inhibits my own exploration and overall experience.

In thinking about why I prefer it this way, I realized there is a positive side in that I have probably stretched some of my own limits when experimenting by myself, particularly when tasked with multiples orgasms like the other night. Multiples, for me, don't come (pun intended) easily so I have to push myself further, both physically and mentally.

Maybe Daddy understands this, and uses it as just one of His many ways to nudge me...

deeper into my own dark desires and fantasies...

to a place of acknowledging and accepting their existence.