Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Cheers to Girl Dates

As she opened the door and smiled, I couldn't help but notice her long brown hair as it draped over one shoulder, reaching all the way down to her waist.  And the long dress she was wearing, clung to her gorgeous figure, undoubtedly with nothing else underneath.  How quickly I felt the strain of what every man must go through when taking in the sight of such an attractive woman. 

She invited me in and I followed her to the kitchen, setting down the bag of goodies I brought to make our cocktails for the evening.  After a few minutes of chatting, we decided to break into the take-out she had picked up.  While she got the plates, I made our drinks and then we sat down at the table.  Raising her glass in the air, I touched mine to hers and she made a toast, "Cheers to girl dates!". 

It's obvious she is very passionate about her health and nutrition and wasn't quite sure if I would enjoy her food choices.  She already has me trying all sorts of new things and I love it!  And everything was amazing...the food, the atmosphere, the conversation.  It all just felt relaxed and natural.

We continued talking long after dinner, because it seems we never run out of things to talk about. And eventually, she suggested that we take our drinks and enjoy the hot tub.

The first thing that popped out of my mouth was "Well, I didn't bring a bathing suit...all I've got is my birthday suit".  She giggled and said that was all she intended to wear anyways.

Taking a couple deep breaths, I thought to can do really want to do this!

I put my hair up, still gathering my thoughts and courage as she slipped out of her dress, and I couldn't help but watch as she walked towards to the door.  She sweetly offered not to look if it would make me more comfortable.  But at that point, I didn't really mind.  I hurried to get my clothes off and join her.


We have talked about a name for her here in my blog, something that was meaningful and representative of this stage of our journey.  One of her ideas was chrysalis, as this part of nature represents change and transformation.  I thought that was a beautiful way to honor her, Chrysalis. 

Monday, April 27, 2015

Open Doors

Growth is something I have really seen in myself particularly the last few months, not just in the ways that I respect and serve Heron but also in how my mind is opening to new possibilities. Fear is a bitch to overcome but I don't want that to hinder me any longer.  He's willing to let me explore, encourages me even to experience some of my deepest desires. You know the cliche..."you only live once". 

And while it's not been easy, He's helping me to realize that it is okay to put myself out there.  And yes, putting yourself out there comes with the risk of getting hurt or being rejected but if you don't try, you might miss out on something really good.  I've been hesitant to post too many details about what's been going on for a couple of reasons.  For one, I still wasn't sure how things were going to unfold (and I'm still not completely sure) but mostly I stayed quiet out of fear of jinxing myself.  Everything was going so well, sure enough as soon as I opened my mouth, I would mess it up.  But yes, I did say that I wasn't letting fear stop me, right?! 

So, I wasn't actively searching but I had to come to point in my life where I knew I was ready to fulfill this particular fantasy, should the opportunity come along.  If it was never meant to be, well I was alright with that too.   

But then I met her.

It all started with a random stranger "loving" several of my pictures on Fetlife.  Because his profile didn't seem creepy, I sent a private message, simply thanking him for taking the time to enjoy my pictures.  Usually people are flattered that I took the time to acknowledge them and then we go about our business.  But this man was quite friendly and respectful. After several messages back and forth, He had Heron's permission to send me a friend request. 

Well, a couple days later, this new friend of mine commented on a picture, which showed up in my main feed page of Fet.  Nosy person that I am, I clicked on the picture and couldn't help but notice how attractive this woman was.  Looking through her other photos, I was more intrigued and went to her main profile.  Strangely enough, she lived very close to me and stated very clearly what she was looking for.   

I don't know how many of you believe in "signs" but it felt like things were being placed in front of me and I knew if I didn't at least follow these crumbs, I was letting fear hold me back.  So, as scary as that first step was, I put myself out there and sent her a message.  It was nothing more than a quick hello to say that I had seen her profile and noticed that we lived near each other. 

When she messaged back shortly thereafter, I was in shock.  We began talking back and forth and this continued for days until we made plans to meet in person for dinner.  Exactly one week after that first message, I was standing in my bathroom trying to decide what to wear and was so nervous I could barely stand myself.  She texted me a picture of what she was wearing and I'm not one who easily rendered speechless but I almost couldn't think straight.  She looked amazing! And like just about any other female, I instantly debated on changing outfits, thinking that I was way under dressed, but then decided to stop second guessing myself and stick with what I had originally intended.      

Heron stayed on the phone with me while I drove to dinner talking me through my nerves.  But once her and I met, the dinner went so well, neither of us was ready to end the evening.  So, we went next door to Starbucks, staying there until closing time.  We spent five hours together that night just talking and getting to know each other.  Honestly, I don't think I have ever spent that kind of time with a woman, even in a strictly platonic sense.  Women are not the easiest for me to make friends with and I think a lot of that has to do with feeling like I can't be myself. But with her, I found myself instantly at ease and everything just flowed naturally.

Before meeting, we had already discussed that we weren't just interested in the physical aspect of a relationship.  There also needed to be a connection and chemistry.  And while we had talked enough to know that connection wasn't going to be a problem, the chemistry was yet to be determined.  But if it wasn't there, at least we would have found a friend.       

I think it's safe to say there was plenty of both and we were already making plans to meet again the next weekend. 

We continued talking throughout the whole next week and counted down the days.  Before I knew it Saturday evening had arrived and I was standing at her front door, not nearly as nervous as I had been the week before.

With the house to ourselves for the next few hours, we went in with no expectations but knowing the possibilities were quite exciting!

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Things You Find

So, you really can find a wartenburg wheel at the chiropractor's office!!

Honestly,  I didn't even see it until I stabbed myself trying to get a squirt of hand sanitizer.

Wheel of doom is what these little things are.

Just had to sneak a picture before the doctor came in:)

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

My Idea...Or Is It?

Happy Earth Day
Ever notice how you react sometimes when you are introduced to something new or out of your comfort zone?

I don't know about you, but sometimes my initial reaction on the inside is to fight it.  I find it interesting how some things Heron insists on me doing anyways.  Sometimes it's because He knows I will end up enjoying it.  Sometimes, He knows I won't and that's OK with Him too.  While other things, He simply plants the seed and waits patiently, watching it grow until it almost seems like my own idea. 

Recently, someone commented in an email to me about my apparent  breast implants  Well, I don't go around announcing that they aren't real but it's probably no secret.   Many, many years ago, I complained about my small chest and the toll that having children had taken on what little I did have.  And being that Heron is most definitely a boob man, I was even more self-conscious.  He was always quick to assure me that He loved my body.  But when I would complain, He would say that if it would make me feel better about myself, I should have something done about it. Which translated in my head to...I want you to get something done about it.

My immediate reaction was to scoff at the notion, feeling insulted that He would even suggest such a thing.  But that was me being silly because He would never have expected me to do something so drastic to my body if I wasn't comfortable doing so.

Truth be told, the main reason I didn't want to do it was fear.  Which seems to be the case with so many other things I chose not to pursue in this life. Heron will attest, I am going to over think it and convince myself of the worst case scenario happening every single time.

So for years, I assumed that I would end up getting some botched plastic surgery and hate myself for it.  Well, that didn't happen...I've been perfectly happy with the choice I made.  

All of the same can be said for our dynamic.  He wanted it but wasn't going to push me into something I didn't want.  With my heels dug in for years, He waited patiently while that little seedling took root.  It took a really...really long time but eventually I came around.  And guess what?  I've been perfectly happy with the choice I made.  

I've learned time changes things and opens the mind to new possibilities, if one lets it.  Sometimes there is an impetus that helps me see things differently and sometimes it just takes the right circumstances to present themselves. 

But once my mind is open, curiosity is bound to overcome the fear that resides there. 

This new development in my life is just another example, except this time the seed didn't really need to be planted.  It was there all along, hiding deep down in a place where I could deny it's existence. With plenty of encouragement, He brought it to the surface where it could finally reach the sunlight and grow.

This is a big step...a huge leap of faith...all sorts of scary and exciting.  And I'm fighting just about every insecurity I have as a woman.  But I'm ready and I know I wouldn't be able be in this position if it hadn't been for a wonderfully supportive and patient man.

Sometimes pushing boundaries can be so subtle, you don't even realize it's happening!

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Room Full of Secrets

Do you ever find yourself in a situation and wonder if you unintentionally give off a vibe that may give away your "secret'?  

Sitting in a conference room the other day for a meeting of upper management and department managers, I looked around the room and thought about the fact that out of the twelve or so people around the table, I was the only female.  Yes, I work in a very male dominated field but I don't mind at all.  I've always worked very well with men.  

Thankfully, I am well respected not just for being good at what I do, but also for being confident and assertive, without being aggressive.   

But people sense things...we all do. It's just human nature to observe peoples quirks or demeanor and make certain assumptions. 

So, in this meeting of all men except myself, I found myself wondering if any of them pick up on my "secret".  Particularly the men that may be naturally more dominant.   

Would love to hear thoughts from both submissives and dominants on this.   

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

A Hitachi Has OTHER Uses??

Apparently some of Friday's activities caught up to me.  My neck, back, and shoulders have been a mess of knots for days now.  Heron was kind last night to set up the massage table for an actual massage. 

Ten years of being a very happy Hitachi owner and not once has it ever been used in a non-sexual way until last night.

Just hearing the buzzing made me wet though.  Damn Pavlovian response.

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Cured of "Giddy"

"I'm so giddy today"...that's how my last post ended, right?!

That was early in the day Friday.  Well, by the end of Friday...I was anything but giddy!

The evening started off fun and innocently enough.  It all began with an impromptu photo session which lead to my new profile photo and this...

Then, we unexpectedly had the house to ourselves and He pulled out some other really fun stuff.

Rope, Candle wax, Hitachi, Fucking machine...

Which led to this...

However, several hours and fifteen orgasms later, it ceased to be fun.  It became sheer torture my friends!  Oh...let's not forget the plastic clothespins (which had to have been made by the devil himself by the way!)

Several times, I found myself caught somewhere between laughing, crying, and begging Him to stop.  My delirious pleas only served to feed the sadist.  Oh, the sadist was thoroughly enjoying inflicting a whole different type of pain.  But He was kind enough at one point to give me a choice...continue until I reached the fifteen orgasms He expected or suck his cock to completion twice.

Guess I failed to see that there really wasn't a choice after all because somehow I ended up doing both anyways.

You know it's bad when your body is so exhausted you can't sleep, every muscle in your body is twitching and you are already so sore you can't get comfortable.  All day Saturday,  I walked around in an absolute daze.  It felt like I had been hit by a truck and then it backed up and rolled over me again!  Ok...that's a bit of an exaggeration but you know what I mean. 

He did get a good laugh though when I finally admitted Saturday night that I was hiding from Him and hoping He might forget me and my holes even existed.  No. Such. Luck!     

Friday, April 3, 2015

Some Like it Hot

Punishment finally came last night. So today, we start with a clean slate.  Standing in the middle of the bedroom, with my pants down to my ankles, and my fingers laced together behind my head, He  delivered 5 quick, but stinging, strikes with the thin bamboo cane across my backside.  One swat for each minor infraction accumulated over the past several weeks.  It wasn't the harsh punishment I had been dreading by any means. 

Afterwards, He told me to pull my pants back up and decided we were going to make use of the warm temperatures and go for a late evening walk.  It was going to be a quick walk but one of the kids wanted milk so we decided to race the clock and see if we could make it to the grocery store before they closed.

What started out as a quick walk ended up being four miles round-trip and took nearly an hour.  With Heron's extended illness, my monthly visitor, and our recent trip, it had been over 3 weeks since He had used anything other than my mouth and by the time we got home and hopped in the shower, I had already begun resigning myself to being patient yet another day.  I figured after the oral services He received the previous night and again earlier yesterday morning, He might not be in the mood for any more physical activity, particularly after the walk.

Oh, but how wrong I was.  It's amazing how much more energy we have when work isn't stressing and draining us!!

Standing beside the bed, He slowly removed my clothes and pushed me back down onto the bed.  Tweaking each of my nipples, He added clothespins to each and began rubbing His hands all over my body, my flesh responding with chill bumps everywhere He touched.  Finally, brushing across my clit, He began massaging it first with His fingers and then with the soft, warmth of His tongue.  His right hand reached up and pinned me to the bed by my throat.   

I was a hot mess already and it wasn't long before I could feels the waves of my pleasure beginning to build but He abruptly stopped, asking if I had any wife-beater tank tops.  I couldn't for the life of me figure out why He would need one, but I pointed to my sock and underwear drawer.  He pulled one out and Had me stand so He could put it on me.  Then, He resumed working me with His tongue until I was close to the edge yet again.

And again stopped.  This time, He reached into the bedside drawer, pulling out the capsaicin cream.  Rolling the shirt up, He rubbed a finger-full of cream around each of my exposed nipples and then pulled the skin-tight shirt back down, massaging my nipples through the cloth.  The added friction instantly increased the intensity of the burn.  He picked the clothespins back up and carefully placed them on the very tips of my nipples through the outside of the shirt.  I couldn't tell which hurt worse, the burn or the pinch but I was squirming and yelping until He ordered me to be quiet and put my arms out spread-eagle.

Trying to relax and breath through it, I stilled myself while He pulled my lower body to the edge of the bed and pushed His already hard cock into the wetness between my legs.  All the sensations melded into nothing but pleasure at that point and there was only heat building everywhere in my body. He butterflied my legs in between us as He continued thrusting in and out while massaging my clit with His fingers.

The intensity of the orgasm that was building was mind-blowing and I grabbed a handful of the sheets, just as I asked permission to cum.  As soon as He granted permission, the explosion began rocking through my body.  I was nearly arching off the bed and my muscles clenched so hard...that I pushed Him right out of me!!

Bet you didn't see that one coming?! (haha...pun intended)

Well, neither did I!  My pussy continued contracting but with nothing there, I guess it's what you would call the female version of a ruined orgasm.  I could have just cried.  He couldn't even force Himself back in. It was sealed up like Fort Knox down there.  After waiting over 3 weeks, I couldn't believe it went so wrong at the last minute.

Thankfully, He was feeling generous and kept going allowing me long enough to build up to another, this time climbing on top of me so I couldn't push Him out.  It's pretty unusual that I am able to achieve two during sex, but I guess that's the beauty of having gone without for a while.  My body was no where near done and the second was just as intense, if not more so!  

By this point, I had almost forgotten about the cream on my nipples.  He had long since taken the clothespins off and the burn had somewhat subsided.  But He laid down on His back and told me to ride Him.  And while doing so, He wanted to watch me rubbing and pinching my nipples through the shirt, again activating the heat in the cream. Watching me bring discomfort to myself drove Him to His own release.

What a great night!  I'm so giddy today...


Thursday, April 2, 2015

Crawling Back to You

The quick little beach get away was wonderful.  It's so relaxing putting your feet in the sand and looking out over a beautiful sea of emerald green waves, but my favorite is just walking on the beach. I'm not a get-in-the-water kind of person though, especially this time of year...just too darn cold.  But I do love to be there.  It's just soothing to the soul. 

But yesterday, it was time to come home and Heron and I were definitely ready.  We had plenty of good times and great food and of course the kids wanted to stay longer.  But after several days of being with them 24/7, we were ready to resume some normalcy.

With everyone worn out, the ride home was extremely quiet.  The kids plugged into their music and we just enjoyed the peace.  Heron did make a point of reminding me that now He is feeling better, I do have a punishment awaiting for the missed chores several weeks back and a few other miscellaneous things.  So, I mulled over that for a while.  I don't quite know when or what to expect it but I assume it will be before the weekend is over.  The waiting in and of itself is quite painful in my opinion.  

We got home pretty close to bed time so we unloaded the car, spent some time playing with the dogs who are always super excited that we have returned.  Finally, we were alone and He was already lying down waiting when I climbed in on my side of the bed. 

There was no doubt He expected to use my mouth so without a moment's hesitation, I crawled across the bed to His side and eagerly took my place between His legs, worshipping and sucking until He found His release.   

I love traveling but there is nothing like returning to your own home, your own bed, and all that is familiar.