Who Owns You?

I had just arrived home from shopping, picking up a few things for the little one to take one vacation. Heron, the man who owns my mind, body, and soul, had been waiting patiently for me to return.

Once the kids were settled, He locked the upstairs bedroom door and turned to me, telling me not to bother removing my clothes.  I looked sheepishly but left the tank top and skirt that tightly clung to my body.

Ushering me to the side of the bed, he stood behind me, kissing my neck and sliding the straps of the tank top down my arms, pushing it down enough to expose my tits.  He continued kissing along my neck while playing with my nipples, which quickly turned to pinching.

It caught me by surprise when his tenderness changed in a moment.  I found myself face down on the bed with my arms held behind me.  He tied my arms behind my back and then pulled me up pressing my back against his chest.  Kissing my neck again, he slipped the ball gag over my head.  My mind raced wondering what he would do to that would warrant the need for a gag.

He pushed my face back down into the bed, yanked up my skirt and slid my panties down.  With my feet still on the floor, he forced my legs to spread wider and slapped at my exposed pussy several times with a blue plastic ruler. It wasn't long before I felt the warmth of His hardness filling me from behind.  Every couple of strokes of his cock were accompanied by a few smacks on my ass with the very same ruler.

I was in pure bliss until he grabbed a fistful of my hair and brought me up to an upright position.  He continued moving in and out, but now his hand gripped my throat, while his other hand brought the ruler down across my tits  Now I knew why the gag was necessary.  I whimpered and cried out but he was relentless again and again, he pushed me face first in the bed, only to drag me up again to torture my nipples, sometimes using the ruler and sometimes using the thin whippy rubber flogger.    

Eventually, he pushed me all the way up on the bed.  On my back with my lower body hanging just off the side of the bed, arms still fixed behind my body rendering me completely helpless, he continued to thrust into me.  Standing over me, he alternated the flogger over my nipples.  Every time I wanted to cry out but the gag only muffled my sound.

He used the clothes that had now become bundled around my waist to gain better leverage, pulling me onto his cock harder and faster.

Yanking the gag down so that it hung around my neck, he asked, "Who owns you?".

"You do.", I whispered.

My answer is met with a sharp smack across the cheek.  It was just enough to get my attention and I quickly corrected myself.

"You do, Sir."

He acknowledged my answer with a "good girl" but also that my body had given something away.  He knew just how much I enjoyed being "man-handled" in this way.

The look in his eyes was so intense, primal even, as he pulled me up and close to him. With one hand supporting the back of my neck and the other around my throat, our eyes were fixed, connecting on a level that I can't quite put into words.

All I knows is that he owns me completely and nothing in this world could make me more happy.

A Year Ago...

It's been exactly one year since He placed His collar around my neck.  What a special time that was in our lives.  It's crazy...crazy that a year has already passed.

In honor of this one year anniversary and how much it means to me, I thought I would make a compilation of excerpts from several blog posts during the days leading up to and including our collaring ceremony.  Feel free to follow the links if you would like to read each post in it's entirety. 
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For the first time in at least 10 years...we are completely alone.  One week with no work, no responsibilities, or anyone in the house with us.

Friday evening, the start of our vacation and first night home together, Master takes me in the bedroom and explains to me for the this time that we have...there is one thing that I must very clearly understand.

He says very firmly, "Remember, everything is just because I can".  

from Just Because He can

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All week, I had been mentally preparing and patiently awaiting what was to start yesterday with a mix of excitement and fear.  Master told me that He had several intense scenes planned over a period of a few days that would be meant to challenge my physical and emotion strength and test my commitment and complete surrender as His slave.  The first of these "tests" took place last night. 

He called the scene "At the "Cross"roads".  When all was said and done, this was by far the longest session we have had, at a little over 3 hours and little did I know, would mainly focus on the one thing I fear the most...having my tits whipped.

Starting with a light flogger, He begins to lick gently at my stomach, then easing up to my tits and down to my pussy.  I try to relax into it and enjoy the light stimulation as He continues across the front of my body but in the back of mind know that His gentleness will not last.  Gradually, He increases intensity and speed until I hear myself moaning with each stroke contacting my body, caught somewhere between a little bit of pain but also a little bit of pleasure.  Changing to a heavy flogger, He again starts easy and works His way up to harsher, more deliberate strikes, until I am crying out in agony with almost each stroke, particularly the ones that make contact with my overly sensitive nipples.  As my cries turn to sobs, I am still determined to take what He has to give, trusting that He will know how far to push me.  He encourages me to breathe through it, to find my focus...pushing me through the last few more lashes.

As He eases me off the cross, I collapse into His arms still sobbing, shaking, and completely fatigued.  He holds me and assures me of how good I did. And once I have composed myself, He offers me water pointing to the bowl sitting on the floor in the corner of the room.  Knowing what this means, without hesitation or shame, I quickly drop to my hands and knees and crawl to the bowl quickly lapping at the water like a puppy.  When He isn't looking, I glance down at my battered tits to see the welts and lash marks already forming and whimper in pain, hoping that my tits won't have to endure any more for the evening.  Once I quenched my thirst, I assume the kneeling pose as instructed with my face down on the floor and He knows I am ready to resume.

from "Crossroads: A Night of Riding the Cross (Part 1)
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Almost too shaken at this point to drink any water, He sits down in front of me again, kisses me, and explains that this is the final time I will be on the cross should I so chose.  However, if I chose this final round, I will step up to the cross and beg Him to be strap me on and whip my tits.

This time, without the blindfold, He walks up to me with the heavy flogger and begins to lightly lash across my stomach first.  It's not often, I get to see Him working.  With just the hint of a grin on His face, He is so handsome and consumed by what He is doing...I can't help but fall in love a little more as I watch Him.  It's obvious, He is being easier than earlier but my skin is already on fire.  As He moves to my tits, I pull against the restraints and cry out as He reminds me to breathe.  Finally, He tells me only two more, one on each nipple and I am to thank Him for each.  Staring directly into His eyes as a reminder to myself of why I can endure this,  the flogger lands on my right nipple, and despite the searing pain, I find myself choking out the words, "THANK YOU MASTER FOR WHIPPING MY NIPPLE!".  And the same follows for the left.  Relief floods though me as He unstraps me and pulls me into His arms.  I can feel how turned on He is and He is kissing me so hard and passionately, my body just melts against Him.

from "Crossroads: A Night of Riding the Cross (Part 2)
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He had designed this moment so beautifully and will be one that I will never forget.  He asked me to remove my clothes and kneel at His feel as I felt the smooth metal of the collar as it was locked around my neck signifying to us both that I belong to Him completely. 

He had something prepared that He wanted to say...some vows so to speak.  The short version is that He promised to guide and protect me, honor my feelings and needs, and tend to my happiness, health, and well-being.  I, in turn, accepted to follow Him on this journey, and to serve and belong to Him. 

Then He began read to me an excerpt from a book and I could no longer hold back my tears.   

The story told of  a man becoming completely "intoxicated" by the song of a Nightbird.  The sound of this Nightbird consumed his thoughts and so "enraptured" him that it consumed his soul.  Choking up as He spoke (which let me say does not happen typically), He explained that I am His Nightbird.   

The front of the tag on my collar is engraved with the words..."Owned by Heron"

The back is engraved with the words..."As I Own His Heart".

from the Collaring of Nightbird
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An Afternoon Alone

Today I found myself completely naked and tied to the massage table, all of my limbs drawn tight and secured to each corner. Oh..it's been quite while since we played like this and I am almost giddy with excitement but not for long.

As soon as the blindfold is secured on my face, turning everything dark, my breathing quickens and I try not to flinch every time I hear the slash of His flogger teasing, dancing through the air directly above my body.  Then, it connects with my chest, landing with a thump across each of my tits at first, then on the folds of my pussy.  The speed and intensity picks up and I am in a good place as He moves the flogger across the entire front of my body. Every now and then the flogger catches the tip of my nipple and I wince from the sting but it is fleeting as He quickly moves to a different part of my body. 

Now, I hear the belt sliding out of His pants, a sound so sexy and breathtaking every time.  Although, I always find I am never very fond of it by the time He is done with me.  The smooth leather kisses my tits and nipples.  He is being easy and for that I am thankful, but a few quick licks to my pussy is all it takes, and as usual, I am arching and straining trying to try get away.  Then He goes back to my my tits.  Strike after strike lands across the upper and lower curves of my tits. This continues until I am yelling out loud each time the belt clips my sensitive nipples, a reaction that always draws His displeasure.

Once the belt focuses on tormenting my pussy, my tears turn to moans and sobs and each strike causing my legs to reflexively draw together.  Again, I hear the frustration in His voice at my lack of control as He commands me to keep my legs open and offer myself to Him and the belt.  I've gone soft and can handle little of what I used to, but He continues until satisfied that I have had enough.

Any relief I feel when He finally stops and removes the blindfold is gone because now I am staring at the  violet wand in His hand.  He dances the wand around my body, zapping the already pink, tender flesh of my tits and nipples and even takes way too much delight in zapping certain areas around my face, which is really disconcerting and agitating. 

Never knowing where the wand is going to strike next keeps me from settling into the pain and brings more cries and tears, particularly when the electricity touches my swollen clit. 

I am sobbing, fighting it...

I want Him to stop...I don't want Him to stop...

I need to endure...I want Him to take what He needs from me. 

With puffy eyes and a stuffed up nose (an attractive sight I am sure), tears continue to trickle down my face after He stops, unties me, and orders me to lay on the floor.  Pulling His pants down just enough to expose His fully erect cock, He attempts to thrust into me.  It takes some work to push through my swollen hole, but once He does, the tears stop, my body instantly responds to Him and every part of me is like a live wire.  It doesn't take long before all the stimulation of the afternoon comes washing over me and my body releases wave after wave of pleasure around Him. 
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We haven't had a session that intense lately, but it was the physical and mental release I needed.  I keep my emotions in check so hard and my tears locked in so tight that sometimes I have to be driven pretty hard to let go.  But I will say that I experienced an instant drop like I never have before.  I could feel myself shutting down within about 10 minutes. Granted, we didn't have time for aftercare since our alone time abruptly came to an end.  But I felt so out of it, shaky, and nauseous that I just had to go sleep it off for a little while.  However, once I woke up, I felt refreshed and at peace! 

    

 

A Look into My Master's Mind

A little while back I posted "Crossroads: A Night of Riding the Cross Part I and Part II".  This was probably, by far, the most intense session we have shared to date.

After I completed my written account, I asked if He would consider doing the same.  We had never talked much about what He thinks and feels during a session, and I finally needed to know.   

I always knew He was an excellent writer but what I got was so much more!  I am completely blown away each and every time I read this.  It is a beautiful reminder of why I have chosen to completely surrender to Him.

He posted this a couple months ago on Fetlife and gave me permission to post it here as well.


Her body is covered in marks. My marks...

---

Her breasts, nipples, stomach and pussy had been kissed softly, teased by the leather. The blows began as tender and soft as a lover's caress. The lash was a snake's tongue flicking, licking over every inch of her, teasing her skin and tasting her, slowly building in intensity until she was moaning softly. Sometimes the soft lashes licked at her nipples and other times brushed the folds of her sex, then trailing softly across her stomach, before once again caressing her tits. Her body responded in kind as she arched herself in desperate need. She wanted...no craved, to feel the lash's next caress.

I could only marvel at her beauty and the beast inside me shook, eager to escape. The beast is the very essence of me, of what I am. It is that which takes over and guides me when she is like this...naked, bound and trembling. The beast recognized her helplessness, her desire, and her passion. She looked up at me, straining towards me, a wanton slut. Her delicate frame struck a seductive pose on the cross, teasing me. The beast strained at the leash, raging to get out. I set it free!

The heavy flogger began its work and the gentle flicks of the snake's tongue turned to the bites of the beast...my beast. As the flogger struck with a mind of its own, the beast was finally unleashed. She groaned helplessly as the lashes bit at her and what was once pleasurable had soon began to test her limits. She cried out as the cruel blows struck at her tits and bit at her nipples. Over and over blows landed until she could only sob in agony and yet she still continued to offer up her body, testing both her limits...and mine.

---

Breathing heavily, I stared at her form. Welts were on her tits, across her stomach, her thighs, and the mound of her pussy. I only watched, satisfied for the moment. Her body hung limp as she sobbed.

Then I smelled her, or at least the beast did. The scent that only she has...her shampoo, vanilla from her body-wash mingling with her sweat. When I am near her, it is a scent that drives me, and the beast within, wild. Her smell caused my heart to pound and my eyes opened wide, like I've taken a hit of an exotic drug. The beast lunged forward hungrily and I brought the lash up to work her over again.

---

She hung limply from the cross, eyes glazed. Her beautiful body glistened with sweat, reflecting the candlelight. Her body shook softly as she sobbed. Her tears trailed down her face, her mascara running like new paint in the rain.

I lowered her from the cross carefully and cradled her in my arms. I traced the tears on her face with kisses. I held her tight, giving her time to come down. I stared at her and whispered "I love you."

She kissed me and whispered back, "I love you."

Finally, I guided her eyes to mine. I stared at her, lost in her gaze. I may own her, but she owns my soul, you see.

Sated, the beast within me slumbered, if only for a little while.

Master's New Floggers

Master's birthday was yesterday and I am so excited about what I found for Him.

We have a couple of floggers but we decided we are really at a point where it's important to start making an investment is high quality toys. 

I looked online and found this beautiful pair of deerskin floggers and knew they were made for us!!

    

Deerskin is not meant for high intensity but we want to build our collection from lesser intensity to higher intensity.  I was even more excited when I found them as a pair since He has been practicing His Florentine technique with a mismatched set. 

I absolutely love these and can't wait to try them out!
 


 

"Crossroads": A Night of Riding the Cross (Part II)

 

For the third time, I was strapped to the cross.  This time facing forward again.  I didn't know how much more I could take if it involved my tits but was quite relieved when Master assured me He wasn't flogging them.  With the blindfold again placed over my eyes, the room is quiet and then I hear the buzzing of a familiar friend...the Hitachi Magic Wand.  Instantly I think, "Oh thank God...this is the good part". 

Well, all I can say is at least I wasn't getting whipped because in the end I cried just as I had the first two times I was on the cross.

 

 

With the stand mounted Hitachi, He begins to torment my pussy by turning it on and allowing me to get close to an orgasm and then turning it off leaving my hips thrusting forward begging for more and continued with this until I was almost insane with need.  All goes quiet for a moment and I hear the familiar sound of the clover clamps.  "That's right" thinking to myself...he didn't promise no clamps. 
On my already battered and tender nipples, He attaches each of the clamps both biting into my flesh almost more than I can bear at this point.  But magically, as soon as He turns the Hitachi back on, it's as if I can't feel any pain in my nipples anymore, only the throbbing need between my legs consumes me.  Again, He tortures me by turning it off each time my orgasm builds.  Now, Master begins adding weight to the chain on the clamps.  With the Hitachi running, He adds a weight so I can't feel it, then as my body assumes that familiar arch so close to releasing turns the vibrator off allowing the pain to flood back to my nipples.  One by one, He continues in this manner until my tears begin to flow out from under my blindfold but not from pain this time...from a complete and desperate need that would not be satisfied.  After removing all the weights and clamps, I am again removed from the cross and directed to my water bowl. 

Almost too shaken at this point to drink any water, He sits down in front of me again, kisses me, and explains that this is the final time I will be on the cross should I so chose.  However, if I chose this final round, I will step up to the cross and beg Him to be strap me on and whip my tits. 

"OH...MY...GOD...He has to be kidding me" was my first thought.  The look in His eyes told me He wasn't.  However, the battle that played out in my mind lasted only a couple of minutes. 

I had come this far. 

I wanted so badly to please Him. 

I trusted Him to only take me as far as I could handle.

I muster the strength to assume my position at the cross.  As I stand there, I look at Him and smile.  "Master...will you please strap me to the cross and I am begging you to whip my tits". 

This time, without the blindfold, He walks to me with the heavy flogger and begins to lightly lash across my stomach first.  It's not often, I get to see Him working.  With just the hint of a grin on His face, He is so handsome and consumed in what He is doing...I can't help but fall in love a little more right now.  It's obvious, He is being easier than earlier but my skin is already on fire.  As He moves to my tits, I pull against the restraints and cry out as He reminds me to breathe.  Finally, He tells me only two more, one on each nipple and I am to thank Him for each.  Staring directly into His eyes as a reminder to myself of why I can endure this,  the flogger lands on my right nipple, and despite the searing pain, I find myself choking out the words, "THANK YOU MASTER FOR WHIPPING MY NIPPLE!".  And the same follows for the left.  Relief floods though me as He unstraps me and pulls me into His arms.  I can feel how turned on He is and He is kissing me so hard and passionately, my body just melts against Him. 

I love being everything He needs me to be...that is where I find my happiness.     

His sexual craving will be satisfied later that night after I have recovered some of my strength but I will be left wanting yet again.  As I said at the start of Part I, today was only the first of many "tests" over the next few days.

"Crossroads": A Night of Riding the Cross (Part I)

All week, I had been mentally preparing and patiently awaiting what was to start yesterday with a mix of excitement and fear.  Master told me that He had several intense scenes planned over a period of a few days that would be meant to challenge my physical and emotion strength and test my commitment and complete surrender as His slave.  The first of these "tests" took place last night. 

He called the scene "At the "Cross"roads".  When all was said and done, this was by far the longest session we have had, at a little over 3 hours and little did I know, would mainly focus on the one thing I fear the most...having my tits whipped.

I shower, fix my hair and makeup, and try to stay calm as I wait for Him to be ready.  As it starts to get dark outside, He finally comes upstairs and tells me it is time as He places a blindfold over my face and leads me to the basement where He takes off the blindfold revealing all that He had prepared.  I quickly scan the room but my eyes focus on the one large object looming in the center...the St. Andrew's Cross.  Candles are lit throughout the room and so many different implements laid.  I also can't help but notice the Hitachi Magic Wand strapped to a stand. 

As I stand naked in the middle of the room facing the cross, He asks, "are you ready to mount the cross".  I nod and He instructs me to step up to it and face Him.  This was the first time I had seen Him.  He is wearing a black shirt and camo pants, bringing a smile to my face because He knows how much I love this outfit on Him during our sessions. Just looking at Him, I know at this moment, I would do anything for this man standing in front of me.  But as He secured my arms and ankles to the cross and put the blindfold back in place over my eyes, I could feel the cold clammy sweat of nervousness on my palms. 

Starting with a light flogger, He begins to lick gently at my stomach, then easing up to my tits and down to my pussy.  I try to relax into it and enjoy the light stimulation as He continues across the front of my body but in the back of mind know that His gentleness will not last.  Gradually, He increases intensity and speed until I hear myself moaning with each stroke contacting my body, caught somewhere between a little bit of pain but also a little bit of pleasure.  Changing to a heavy flogger, He again starts easy and works His way up to harsher, more deliberate strikes, until I am crying out in agony with almost each stroke, particularly the ones that make contact with my overly sensitive nipples.  As my cries turn to sobs, I am still determined to take what He has to give, trusting that He will know how far to push me.  He encourages me to breathe through it, to find my focus...pushing me through the last few more lashes.

As He eases me off the cross, I collapse into His arms still sobbing, shaking, and completely fatigued.  He holds me and assures me of how good I did. And once I have composed myself, He offers me water pointing to the bowl sitting on the floor in the corner of the room.  Knowing what this means, without hesitation or shame, I quickly drop to my hands and knees and crawl to the bowl quickly lapping at the water like a puppy.  When He isn't looking, I glance down at my battered tits to see the welts and lash marks already forming and whimper in pain, hoping that my tits won't have to endure any more for the evening.  Once I quenched my thirst, I assume the kneeling pose as instructed with my face down on the floor and He knows I am ready to resume. 

This time, I am thankful to be mounted to the cross with my backside exposed until He attaches the clover clamps to already tender nipples.  With a dildo mounted to the cross to act as my gag, the licks of the light flogger begin first across my back and shoulders, then my ass.   Again, He gradually increases speed and intensity until changing to a riding crop.  I think during this portion of the session, I was as close to "sub space" as I have ever been as the sting on my ass was beginning to turn from pain to a warm sensation.  But once again, Master pushed the boundary of my pain threshold by switching to the heavy flogger, and had me screaming out in pain louder than I ever have as it connected harshly across my back.  Again, the sobs came but He continued flogging my ass until...well I don't really know when or what made Him decide to stop.

With shaky legs and weak arms, He lowered me off the cross this time and directed me to my water bowl.  As I crawled I was thinking "wow...as hard as He just beat my ass, the only part of me that is throbbing right now is the stripes across my back and my tits".  As I finish taking a drink, He sits down in front of me for just a moment and kisses me, giving me the little bit of encouragement I needed to assume the position, and submit to riding the cross yet again not knowing what He has planned next. 

This journal entry is only the first half of last night's experience...so as they say...To be continued!