Saturday, January 31, 2015

Righting The World

Daddy almost immediately noticed the drink I made myself sitting on the table when He arrived home from work.  He commented that I must be feeling better.   

I stood nervously waiting for Him to say something about my hair. Earlier in the day, on a whim, I ran into the hair salon for a quick trim.  I had just colored my hair, noticed how unhealthy the ends looked, and happened to have a minute while out running some errands.  It wasn't until I got home, that the panic set in.

How could I have forgotten to ask permission? 

Hoping to minimize the damage, I called Him at work, admitted that I had probably just screwed up, and tried to explain that it had only been a slight trim to get the dead ends off, not a drastic change in length or style.

He would decide for Himself once He got home. 

As it turned out, He didn't even notice until I reminded Him.  He said it was fine, hardly a noticeable change as He disappeared upstairs to the office.  Whew!

Even though I have been sick and we have been far from strict protocol, that's no excuse for forgetting such a simple rule so I appreciate His leniency this time, but it was a good reminder in how easy it can be to lose focus on the little things.

Later in the evening, He was still in the office becoming more and more frustrated with all the work He had to do, I suggested that maybe He call it a night and offered to relieve His stress.  Thankfully, after over a week and half of being sent to bed to get my rest, He stood up and commented that it was a good idea.

He thought it best that I still not over-exert myself but did allow me to spend some time worshipping His cock.  Oh, how I had missed everything about that.  

The feel of Him growing hard beneath the touch of my lips.

The slight moan that escapes His lips when I run my tongue over the sweetest of spots.

The satisfaction in knowing that I was finally able to bring Him pleasure in the way the He likes it most.    

Honestly, I can't remember the last time I've gone that long without Him using and filling my mouth.

It was nice for all to become right with the world again.

 Maybe I'm right and the world is wrong. Manuel LookSun

Friday, January 30, 2015

A Sigh of Relief

I wish I had something fun to write about but this sickness has been lingering here now for over a week.  And now that I am finally feeling a bit better, the youngest is sick. Maybe the timing is good though because Daddy has had to stay completely immersed with work and school this week.  So, at least I don't feel quite as guilty for not being able to serve Him in my usual capacity. 

But on a good note...actually a really good note, the eldest received an acceptance letter to her  college of choice and scored high enough on her ACT to be awarded an academic scholarship that will cover her entire tuition!!  I'm so happy for her and breathing a sigh of relief.      

Monday, January 26, 2015

Scary Things

So I'm sitting here at the kitchen table, still nursing this terrible cold with a nice hot toddy.

While minding my own business, poking around on Fet, Daddy walks up and takes a seat next to me with an excited look on his face, or perhaps it was more of an evil and mischievous grin. Probably all one in the same, anyways!

He sat down with a pad of paper and a pen and started to sketch something. I couldn't tell at first what it was.  Then, He said hang on, let me draw it from a different angle.

Oh....THIS...I knew what this was!!

He then wrote down two things that I need to buy, when I get better of course.

(2) 4x4 wooden posts
(2) 1x4x10's.

As quickly as He had sat down, He was off again, leaving me wondering whether to laugh (you know...the crazy, insane, hysterical kind of laugh) or cry!

Any brave souls who want to guess what it might be?  I'm not sure I have the courage yet to admit what it is. 

Friday, January 23, 2015

When Life Throws You Lemons

There hasn't been much to write about since my last post.  It seems that I'm now trying to fight off the very same crud that I have successfully avoided this whole season.  I actually can't remember the last time I was sick, and while everyone else was falling like flies, I swore my lemon water was the key to me staying healthy.

Every time I feel even the slightest twinge of sickness coming on, I just up the amount of my lemon water and by the next day, I'm fine. Supposedly, it has something to do with keeping the pH in your body balanced and I'm sure the vitamin C doesn't hurt either.  

So...urggg!  Why do I feel like crap now??

Well, maybe it is still helping though because I haven't been sick enough to stay home from work, yet.

But I am sick enough that Daddy has been avoiding me like the plague.  He's swamped with work right now and can't afford to be under the weather.  

So, I've spent the evenings watching Netflix with the eldest.  She's been on rampage wanting to rewatch all the seasons of Grey's Anatomy, of all things.  Gosh...I had forgotten just how much sex was going on in that show! Makes me jealous that I'm not getting any.

But hey...I did manage to fix a leaky toilet.  Yay me! 

On a different note, i joined a local kinky book club!  My first meeting is at the end of February and the book to read for that meeting is Delta of Venus by Anais Nin.  It ordered it for about $4 on eBay and when I got in from work today, I was so excited to see it already arrived!!!

It's a cold, rainy Friday night here so it would be awesome to cuddle up with my new book and a warm drink.  But I have my own story to write first.  Chapter 3 is due to Daddy before the end of this weekend.  This cold needs to pass quickly. 

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

All Sorts of Good Slavey Things

As we drifted off to sleep Sunday night, Daddy's words to me were...

good dinner...
                        good story...
                                             good blowjob...
                                                                       GOOD NIGHT!

It feels good when He recognizes and appreciates the things I do to make His life easier...and more pleasurable.  I have been working particularly hard on not just my sexual service but domestic as well and a verbal recognition is always welcomed.

But if I am really being honest,  I am totally an approval slut.  Is that even a thing?

Above all else, His approval is what I strive for and the more I know that I have pleased Him, the harder I continue trying.

So, yesterday was a holiday for the kids and I, but Daddy had to work.  And as much as I love for Him to be home, days when I am home and He is not, can end up being so productive.

I ran errands, cleaned the house, and took care of just about everything I could think needed to be done.  I even found a great deal on a storage facility for His new boat and towed it there with the truck myself. Can I just say that was a first for me and I didn't curb it once?!

And He was so impressed!! 

The only thing left to do was workout but I was saving that so we could do it together after dinner. Lately, with it being cold, I have been doing 30 minutes on the treadmill or elliptical while He does the same amount of time on the stationary bike. 

But last night when we went upstairs, He told me He wanted me in something sexy and He had something else in mind for my workout. An idea inspired from the second chapter of my story presented on Sunday night.  Honestly, I didn't see that one coming but I guess I should have.

I pulled out my black lacy bra and already had on bright red thongs.  He approved but told me that I would still need to wear sneakers.  Well, I just had to make some remark about how stupid I was going to look and ended up wearing 5 inch heels as punishment for my smart mouth.

While He pedaled the bike, He had me standing out in front of Him and directed me though a 30 minute workout far different than the treadmill, mostly core building exercises mixed with a little bit of weights.

Some exercises were as easy as marching in place or crunches...some as difficult as the pose pictured below. This happened to be His favorite, by the way, and one that will apparently be used more frequently.  I wasn't holding plates though, just hand weights.

No...this is not actually me.

My reward for all the hard work...a post-workout orgasm using the dog cock dildo, while He stood over me and watched.   

All in all, a good day!!

Monday, January 19, 2015

Marks of a Different Kind

It's been cold here.  Well's pretty much been cold everywhere.  But what cold means for me is that I am not required to come to bed naked, unless of course Daddy says I should.

The other night I was standing beside the bed, taking my clothes off and debating on whether to put on pajamas.  It wasn't too cold and I knew He was waiting for me to come take my usual place of worship but He must have seen the momentary debate I was having in my head.

If you come to bed with no clothes, there may be consequences.

Well...since you put it like that, it's certainly a risk I'm willing to take.

I hopped in bed, without clothes and began stroking and caressing His cock until it came to life.

After several minutes He told me to get on my back.  I was beyond thrilled that He was going to use my body, not just my mouth and for the most part, it all started off very vanilla.  Then, something in Him changed.  He became almost animal like as He began feeding on my neck. Instantly, shock waves of excitement coursed through my body.     

I knew that He would leave marks and after He stopped and did it again, I knew He meant to leave marks.  He alternated sides, telling me to turn my head. giving Him better access to continue His frenzy.

After we were done, He told me to go check and see how bad it was in the mirror.  There were no less than seven marks around my throat and some places He had sucked so hard they actually hurt.  

In the twenty-two years we have been intimate with each other, He has never marked me (at least not where anyone could see).  I would have been mortified by the idea of wearing passion marks. 

But was hot, and now, I am quite proud to wear any kind of marks that display His ownership of me. 

Besides, that's what scarves are for, right?!

Wednesday, January 14, 2015


"Did you complete your story like you were supposed to?"

She stopped sucking only long enough to whisper "no, Sir".

"You do know that you will be punished.  You know tonight I am going to spank you and then probably spank you some more."

Now, she knew she wasn't really in trouble. She had asked for extra time to complete the story and he had been generous enough to allow two more days.  She also happens to know punishments are delivered separately from any type of sex. 

He stopped her again, with an instruction to hand Him the switch and the fly swatter, both of which always stay tucked safely between the mattress and box spring on her side of the bed for use at a moment's notice.  She scrambled out of the bed and retrieved both as He walked around the bed and stood next to her.  Taking both from her hands, He bent her over the side of the bed, spread her legs, and delivered several stinging swats with the switch.  She could feel her body responding, getting wetter and more desperate with each swat.

Her body had been screaming for His attention and affections. And it had also been far too long since feeling the sting of His implements.  He knew exactly what her body was craving and His cock was rock-hard pressing against her from behind.  With her face pressed into the mattress, she rocked up just slightly on tippy toes to make His access just a little bit easier. 

After a few thrusts, the sting of the switch again cut across her backside.  She's not one to enjoy pain just for the sake of pain, but this...this is what she really enjoys and it's not often that He spoils her in such a way.  Spankings tend to be reserved for either punishment or maintenance.  But oh how she love the dichotomy of two opposing forces when used together, the pain and the pleasure when it all melds into one.  

The switch tends to be a bit unwieldy though, especially when bodies are so close.  So He picked up the fly swatter and backed up behind her, leaving her hole aching and unfilled.  Using the metal handle end of the swatter, He gave her ten slow methodical swats.  Some of them landed across her ass, some of them traveling down to kiss the sensitive area just between her cheek and leg.  Still bent over the bed, she reached for the pillow and pulled it under her face to muffle any noise.

Each swat stung but it was deeper pain, not like the surface sting of the switch.  But the pain faded quickly as He spread her legs farther apart and worked Himself back inside. Now, the pillow  muffled a different type of sound, but only for a few moments. He pulled out again, replacing the stroke of His cock with five more strokes of the fly swatter, faster than the ones before but equally painful.  And then the relief flooded her as He filled her again.  This went on several more times before He finally told her to get up on the bed.

Her backside was on fire as He climbed on top of her, pressing her tender flesh against the bed.  But even that pain disappeared quickly.

As she laid there drifting off to sleep that night, feeling well used, sated, and content, she couldn't have been more thankful for everything He gave her that night.  And she realized something in that moment.  She may not always get what she wants, or even what she think she needs...

But that's part of what makes her truly appreciate the times that she does.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Life Hurts

This was a tough weekend in our house. Helping a daughter go through that first horrible break-up is one way to turn everyone's life upside down.

It's gut-wrenching to watch your child experience the kind of lying, betrayal, and pain that relationships can often bring.  As a naive 18 year old, she has the most trusting soul and really sees only the good in people.

The worst part...Daddy and I knew this guy's story from the day we met him.  As we watched her fall fast, we warned her about his type and the road that lay ahead, knowing there was nothing we could do except wait for the pieces to fall. 

In the end, our warnings peaked her curiosity enough to seek the truth. And then, she was left to make the toughest decision in her life so far.

But it doesn't feel any better when your child calls sobbing and choking out the words "you were right".  Picking up the fragile pieces of your child's broken heart...well it just sucks.  

Her and I spent a lot of time together this weekend.  In between the bouts of crying, there was a lot of talking and plenty of movie watching.  But it was Daddy's conversation with her last night that seemed to help the most. It wasn't a comfortable conversation for Him, I'm sure.  He tends to leave the love and relationship stuff to me.

But He has such a way with all of us. He is our strength and stability when we need it most.  And I honestly don't know what we would ever do without Him.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Leading Me Gently

Seems a topic that has come up in a couple of blogs that I have read lately is the idea of introducing another person into the dynamic (specifically speaking...a girl/girl encounter).  I've also spent some time recently talking with a FL friend about this...quizzing her about some of her new experiences and discussing some of the questions I have.  

I suppose everyone has differing opinions and their own reasons for doing it or not doing it, whichever the case may be. For us, going down this road would certainly push my boundaries and take me out of my comfort zone, but more than anything, it's about Daddy encouraging me to do something that I have fantasized about for a long time. 

Now, I would be lying if I said that the idea of it didn't turn Him on as well.  I mean what guy isn't excited about a little girl/girl action?  But He doesn't really feel the need to participate or even watch, at least not in the beginning.  He wants me to have an opportunity to explore and become comfortable without the added pressure of Him being involved.

And I could be wrong, but I don't get the feeling that this is one of those issues He wants to force.  Of course, He knows I would submit to whatever He desired.  But it feels more like He's just gently leading me there, which I appreciate because it's allowing me to work through my own fears and to develop my own interest and desire for it. 

Overall, do I feel that having this experience is necessary for mine or His happiness? Not at all.  I wouldn't go through life feeling like I had missed out on something if the opportunity just didn't present itself.

So, while this experience would fulfill of fantasy we both share, ultimately the physical pleasures would be for my enjoyment.  At least I assume I would enjoy it, but honestly, I have no way of knowing.  I just know the idea of it turns me on. And seeing it turns me on. So, I suspect I would be just fine as long as it was the right person and situation. But I know without a doubt, if left to my own devices, I would never have the courage or initiative to pursue it on my own.

Perhaps you remember my talking about  "story time" and how uncomfortable it makes me.  I find it really difficult to come up with new and different scenarios.     

Well, Daddy decided to help out this past week by providing me a set of pictures, 55 pictures to be exact, all downloaded in a file on my flash drive. He explained that the order and details in the images were very important as they would set the scene and tone of the story, as well as create a loose story line for me to develop and follow.

His goal was to lead me down a path.  And as long as I stayed on point, his path would help me create the type of story He wanted to hear. And I'm thinking now...maybe open my mind to some things in the process.

So what were these pictures, you ask?

The general theme was a woman being dominated and used by a group of women, in all various, sorted ways.  Whew...none of my stories had ever gone down that path before.  Dominated by and servicing a group of men...sure. But not women.  Those were always images safer tucked in the darkest recesses of my mind.  

This was certainly no easy task but I have to admit, it must have touched on some kind of nerve because certain parts of me enjoyed writing the story way too much.

Obviously, I have no direct experience with women so I also had to do some reading of other fantasy stories to draw inspiration. Between the reading and the writing, I was a horny little mess and beyond grateful when He suggested that I relieve some pressure.

It did take several days to complete and I even had to request permission for a little more time, but the end product was a 5 page story. And I'm not talking double spaced pages either!

In my opinion, the story itself was probably better than the delivery because the vocalization of it all still feels awkward.

But afterwards, Daddy told me that I will have an opportunity for plenty of practice since He was already working on pictures for Chapter 2!  sigh

So if go MIA from my blog for days at a time in the near future, it just might be because I am writing another chapter!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Super-Ninja Bra Skills

No Bra Day' 2013 Prompts Women To Celebrate On Twitter

I'm not really sure if I have mentioned this in any of my recent posts but expectations have changed in the last few months about my wearing of the good ole' over-the-shoulder- boulder-holder. 

After what seemed like a year of not being allowed to wear a brassiere (not ever), I began to get pretty sad staring at all my beautiful bras sitting lifeless in the drawer.  I talked to Daddy one day and asked about the possibility of wearing my bras on occasion, not just because my bras were beautiful and I didn't want them to go to waste, but also because my tits were really starting to hurt.  An unfortunate side effect of the boob job (along with the ridiculously over-sensitive nipples).  Anyways, if they go unsupported for too long, they get pretty uncomfortable.  It was to the point that I wasn't wearing a bra during the day but I was having to wear a sports bra at night to alleviate the pain.

What Daddy decided is that I could wear a bra anytime except for when I'm around Him.  So whether it be when He gets home from work, whether we go shopping or out to lunch together, or whether we're just hanging around the's no bra.

Otherwise, I am free to strap em up! Unless of course, He gives me special instruction to the contrary.

Let me just say, this has made me quite the super-ninja bra stripper.  I can get that puppy off no matter what I'm wearing. 

And you wouldn't believe how fast that thing comes off while I'm cooking dinner, when I hear that garage door go up.

On my way to meet Him at the office...I can get it off at a stop light.

He's calls to say He's picking me up for lunch...I can get it off sitting right at my desk. 

Now, if I could just figure out some super ninja skill to get the damn thing back on!!

Monday, January 5, 2015

Tricks of the Mind

Daddy came downstairs yesterday morning, greeting me in the kitchen and drawing me in with kiss that made me melt just a little. He told me that I needed to plan on getting the grocery shopping done early, while He was finishing up school work and then be prepared for a paddling in the afternoon.

I wasn't sure if this was one of those...I just want to paddle you moods or if I had done something wrong because there is quite a difference.

He grinned and said "you know exactly what you did".

My mind started racing.  I'm quite sure at any given time, there's something I've done wrong, or some chore that didn't get completed, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was this time.

I shook my head and told Him that I didn't know.  He gave me a hint, telling me it was something I mumbled after getting up the previous night to put my pajamas on.   

Nope...still doesn't ring a bell.

I'll tell you the first couple of words then. " That wasn't..."


Ok..the next word  "That wasn't...what..."

I was like a deer in headlights and had no idea what He was talking about.  And then He finished the sentence.

You said, "That wasn't what I was expecting."

Now, I did come to bed that night without any clothes on, hinting that my monthly visitor had vacated the premises.

And I was being pretty forward, rubbing my body all over His legs as I used my mouth on Him, hinting that I was SUPER horny.

Of course, since I was rubbing my nipples on Him, He thought they deserved some special attention and sent me to get the Young's forceps. 

As I continued to suck, He took turns on each of my nipples, pinching, pulling, and tugging until my whimpering got on His nerves.  He then told me to lick and stroke His balls, until He was ready for my mouth to finish Him off.

So afterwards as He lay there basking in His glory, I got up to get my clothes from the dresser and that's when He thought He heard me say "well, that's wasn't what I was expecting".

I might not have learned much, but I have certainly learned not to say THAT!  Think it...ok...I might be guilty. But I wouldn't say it out loud.

Yikes!  Maybe he can actually read my mind!  Can you get in trouble for that??

After quite a bit of convincing, He did believe me.  But I have no idea what I said that He misheard because I honestly don't remember saying anything.  I suggested that perhaps   His guilty conscience was speaking to Him.

Yeah, He wasn't buying that one!!  

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Resistance is Futile

Back before the holidays, you might remember I was on orgasm restriction.  I write about it now because at the time, there was so much going on and I just didn't have the emotional energy to invest in writing about anything.  

The first week of my restriction was spent with Daddy tormenting me or making me torment myself.  It was close to the holidays so if you missed that post, you can read about it here or if you happen to remember, I was only allowed a couple of inches of a particular dildo and at one point, I was given the same amount of His cock.  An additional caveat to this was under no circumstances was my clit to be touched, not even accidentally while using the dildo.  Sheesh!! He's demanding isn't He?

Of course, my mouth stayed full of cock on a nightly basis and for the the first week, I stayed on an incredible edge, every minute of the day all I could think about the throbbing and the constant pool of wetness between my legs.

Somewhere during that second week, well, the edge just faded away.  He continued using my mouth almost nightly but it's the same thing that tends to happen whenever my arousal is abandoned for too long.  My body decides it's not getting any, so it just...shuts...down.. It's not like I am even angry or upset, not yet anyways.  I think it's a way of coping and pushing my own desires aside so that I can remain focused on His needs and pleasure.

Then at some point (in this case it was around the end of the second week), sleep becomes more difficult, the stress of daily life builds up, and my resolve begins to crumble...I begin to crumble.  Of course, the holidays were upon us as well which didn't help things either.

I try my best to hide the hurt when it starts creeping in, desperate not to let Him believe my submission is wavering.  Retreating into myself, I get quiet until He forces it out of me.  He knows what's wrong but makes me say it out loud anyways.

I can't help but wonder if you even want me anymore.

Of course He wants me.  After all, He uses my mouth just about every night, doesn't He?

Being a wife and a slave are intertwined roles for me at this point, with the exception of this one area.  As slave, I understand all of it.  But as a wife, I struggle and the ache in my chest brings doubt.  As we laid there and tears rolled down my cheeks, He snuggled with me and assured me of His desire to have me (all of me) and I will see just how much.  I just had to continue waiting until the  upcoming weekend.  I beg Him not to make that type of promise because it always seems that things never work out for one reason or another.  But He holds fast to His promise and in the back of my mind, I know better than to get my hopes up. 
Well, it WAS the weekend before Christmas after all.  There was a party to attend and one to host, food to cook, a house to clean, and while I worked on most of that, He had plenty of school work to keep Him busy.  Through no real fault of His own, our time together didn't happen.  There wasn't even time for any of my expected nightly cock worship.  I tried once again to hide how crushed I was, particularly when He didn't say anything about our missed time together.

Monday night came and He climbed into bed giving me the signal to take my usual place of worship between His legs.  As wrong as it was, I had already assumed and peacefully resigned myself to only servicing Him in the same way I had so many nights before.   

Surprisingly, He told me to get my pants off and lay on my back, words that would normally make me get quite giddy.  I wanted to be excited, really I did.  But as He climbed on top and pressed inside of me, I couldn't find a way out of the hole I was in to give myself to Him completely.  All the hurt and frustration was bubbling up to the surface and I was stuck in a terrible my head.  He could feel my resistance but didn't stop.  He tried twisting and pulling my nipples.  He grabbed my throat pinning me to the bed.  He wrapped His fist in my hair, pulling my head back and ordered me to cum around His cock. Normally, any or all of these things drive me wild and send me over the edge, but it wasn't working this time. Nothing was working because I wasn't letting it work.  I might as well have been behind the Great Wall of China.

We talked alot afterwards.  He interpreted my actions (or lack of reaction to Him) as resentment.  I tried to explain that it was simply hurt.  Hurt that He hadn't acknowledged His broken promise over the weekend, and hurt that after weeks of not having Him, He seemed so cold.  We went round and round until there was really nothing left to say.  But my words left Him in a quandary.

Does He alter His actions, possibly allowing me to perceive that I have some level of control?

Or does He continue on in the manner that pleases Him and I adjust my expectations, if need be?

It was wise that He chose the latter because as luck would have it, He took me again a couple nights the exact same way.  And apparently, once the air had been cleared and I actually communicated all the crap floating in my head, I was just fine.  This time when He gave the order to cum around His cock, my body responded to Him the way it should.

But just like I have a tendency to do, I hold on to things far too long, fearing that voicing the types of thoughts I have is somehow contrary to being truly submissive.

One of these days, maybe I will learn...but probably not.


Friday, January 2, 2015

The River's Edge

Yesterday, on New Year's afternoon, Daddy and I went out for a hike.  It was a chilly, overcast kind of day here in the south, but it felt good to be outside and move around, and just be together.

With the river on our left, we followed the sidewalk until it ended and turned into a more subtle woodsy walking trail.  We were also very much alone.  Stopping only briefly to admire a beautiful, old railroad tressel, we then continued on for what seemed like miles until the trail pretty much came to a dead end. 

Standing at the end of the path in this deserted area of the woods, I had such an overwhelming desire to be on my knees and have Him take my mouth, using it solely for His pleasure, but He's not one for taking risks like that, at least not where He's involved.

As we turned to head back, I jokingly commented that someone could dump a body out in this remote area and it not be found for days, hoping to make my point about how alone we really were.

Daddy agreed but wasn't taking the bait. Instead, He replied with "someone could also be forced to come out here and crawl around naked and no one would see that either. Thanks for the idea. I'll have to keep that in mind."  

Me and my big mouth.

The idea of it didn't really bother me.  I only hope it won't be too much to request using   knee pads if He actually decides to make me do that.  LOL

We continued on a little farther and He bent over, picking up a long, thin piece of bamboo that was slightly hidden amongst the dead leaves.  Snapping off about a 3 foot piece, He looked at me with...the look.  You know the one.  The sinister but oh so delicious look that both scares and excites you and reminds you that your ass, and every other tender part of your body, is His.  But thankfully, He assured me it was still too green yet to actually use.

Once we finally made our way back to the more traveled path, He handed me the soon to be cane and told me to carry it...and get used to it's smooth, firm feel. I couldn't feel the flush in my cheeks but He certainly noticed.  

And so 2015 begins....

Thursday, January 1, 2015


As I sit here on the morning of yet another new year, I think about about where I've been, where we've been, and where we are going.  Each year, has brought new struggles, frequent chaos or drama in daily life, but somewhere in all that...we continue to find ourselves and each other.

Despite the craziness of the holiday season (or maybe because of it), I've had more time to be inside my own head than I really care for.  Daddy has been extremely busy with school work which leaves plenty of time for thinking, which I always say can be a good thing and then sometimes, not so much. 

Things have been fairly vanilla, not completely, but comparatively speaking anyways.  And I'm ok with that. At least I did finally get that orgasm in December.

You see, the one thing I have come to realize is that I don't need the "active" D/s dynamic (and all the rules/expectations that come with it), the spankings, or the kinky sex to be happy or fulfilled.  Yes, kinky sex is fun and the dynamic keeps our home running smoothly. But in the couple of years that we have been doing this thing we do, I've think I've learned how to be a more attentive wife, how to communicate my emotions in constructive ways, and for the most part, I've learned what it is that pleases Daddy.  I do my best to stay mindful of all of these things whether the dynamic is in full force or relaxed just because I want Him to be happy and make His life a little bit easier. Of course, I'm still prone to the occasional screw up but honestly, it's never intentional.   

Now, I'm not going to claim that being a slave or submissive is what I was always meant to be or that it even makes me happy, personally.  To constantly put someone else's needs and wants above my own is sometimes downright difficult and causes more frustration and angst than I would like. I can't even claim that submission makes me a less selfish person because eventually all those what about me thoughts start to surface.  And while I may not grumble out loud, the voice in my head sure does.
But the reason I say that I don't need this lifestyle, is because it's not something I do for me.  There are all sorts of reasons that people choose to submit.  And personally, I chose to submit for Him and for us, because I want our life together to be as frictionless as possible.

For my own happiness, all I really need is for us TO BE together, to look forward to a long life full of happy memories, and to know that I am loved and wanted.  And honestly, I would have these things whether we had ever discovered this lifestyle or not. 

So here's to another year!  And to all of you that continue to read and follow our adventures, I want to thank you and wish you all great things to come in the New Year!!