So Daddy implemented a new expectation, or rule if you will. Well, actually, it's not completely new. It was something in my list of rules already that had been put on hold. He has made a slight modification and it is now back in force.
The Rule:
Before performing any sexual services, I am to present Him with one of three, somewhat quiet, implements.
The switch...
The fly swatter...
Or the loopy! (oh how I hate the loopy)
A couple of conditions though:
The same implement shouldn't be offered twice in a row...
And He may or may not intend to use it but it still must be offered.
These have all been tucked away between the mattress and box spring on my side of the bed, so they are ready at a moments notice
So I know it's probably going to happen, but here's hoping I don't forget. I thought maybe writing it down here would help commit it to memory.
Of course, this must have inspired Him to take a more thorough look-see at my rules, I presume to jog His memory on things I am supposed to be doing and make some other minor updates.
Darn if He didn't point out a couple things I have been neglecting, not purposely I should add. But yeah, I don't have much in the way of reasonable defense. Not that having a good defense matters. It's supposed to be done....period. And I didn't communicate that I was having problems completing said tasks.
So....now I am to remind Him to take care of those infractions tonight.
Yikes....guess I will have knots in my stomach the rest of the day!
Monday, September 15, 2014
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Not Tonight Dear...
One reader that I have gotten to know pretty well asked me the other day, if I am ever allowed to use the "not tonight pass" if I am tired or not feeling well, particularly after working all day and juggling busy schedules with the kids.
This is a really good question because we all have days that we are tired and not particularly in the mood, right?
But truthfully, in our dynamic, there is no such thing as a "not tonight pass", at least for me to use anyways. Regardless of stress, exhaustion, schedules, if Heron requires my service, I am expected to willingly comply. This was one the first aspects of control that He took from me at the start of our D/s relationship..
Now, having said that, He is also very aware of how I feel and it is quite common for Him to see the exhaustion in my face and insist that I go to bed, even if He is "in the mood".
In fact, this happened just the other night. One of the things He requires of me is to use my mouth on Him every night, unless He states otherwise. As usual, I was ready and waiting on the bed when He came in the room. He took one look at me and said, "you look really tired...just get your rest tonight". I didn't even try to convince Him otherwise. I thanked Him for understanding and laid right down.
My well being is of utmost importance to Him but I think another reason He is more understanding now when I am not feeling up to sex or play is that He no longer has to be concerned with when He might get His needs met. He can just expect it the next day or as soon as opportunity presents itself.
Whereas, if we were still in our previous egalitarian relationship and I turned him down, His needs could go unmet indefinitely because it was all about when I wanted it and He was at my mercy to decide when I was willing and in the mood.
At first, I thought this rule would be horrid but to be honest, I'm so relieved to not have this power anymore. First, I started to see that there were plenty of times I didn't necessarily think I was in the mood, only to realize the connection and release (if allowed) was just what I needed. I also think having more sex and play, leads to wanting or craving more sex and play.
Not to mention...being used, whether I want to or not, plays right into my of fantasies about being taken against my will:)
I've spent a lot of time looking back over the previous years of our marriage and I truly regret all the fighting over sex. I used it as a form of control and had some pretty selfish views. I don't want to blame my upbringing, but I was just raised to believe there was something wrong with a man who wanted it all the time.
Even though my husband always had a very high drive, my pleasure was always His priority and I thanked Him for that by constantly pushing Him away and making Him feel like less of a person for the needs He had. I've just had to accept that some things you can't take back...you can only spend the rest of your life making up for it.
It's all kind of ironic now though. As His slave I am only entitled to whatever He chooses, whenever He chooses. So I have learned to appreciate each and every opportunity presented.
There's nothing like knowing that you can't just have something whenever you want it to make you want it that much more.
Thank you so much for your question!!
This is a really good question because we all have days that we are tired and not particularly in the mood, right?
But truthfully, in our dynamic, there is no such thing as a "not tonight pass", at least for me to use anyways. Regardless of stress, exhaustion, schedules, if Heron requires my service, I am expected to willingly comply. This was one the first aspects of control that He took from me at the start of our D/s relationship..
Now, having said that, He is also very aware of how I feel and it is quite common for Him to see the exhaustion in my face and insist that I go to bed, even if He is "in the mood".
In fact, this happened just the other night. One of the things He requires of me is to use my mouth on Him every night, unless He states otherwise. As usual, I was ready and waiting on the bed when He came in the room. He took one look at me and said, "you look really tired...just get your rest tonight". I didn't even try to convince Him otherwise. I thanked Him for understanding and laid right down.
My well being is of utmost importance to Him but I think another reason He is more understanding now when I am not feeling up to sex or play is that He no longer has to be concerned with when He might get His needs met. He can just expect it the next day or as soon as opportunity presents itself.
Whereas, if we were still in our previous egalitarian relationship and I turned him down, His needs could go unmet indefinitely because it was all about when I wanted it and He was at my mercy to decide when I was willing and in the mood.
At first, I thought this rule would be horrid but to be honest, I'm so relieved to not have this power anymore. First, I started to see that there were plenty of times I didn't necessarily think I was in the mood, only to realize the connection and release (if allowed) was just what I needed. I also think having more sex and play, leads to wanting or craving more sex and play.
Not to mention...being used, whether I want to or not, plays right into my of fantasies about being taken against my will:)
I've spent a lot of time looking back over the previous years of our marriage and I truly regret all the fighting over sex. I used it as a form of control and had some pretty selfish views. I don't want to blame my upbringing, but I was just raised to believe there was something wrong with a man who wanted it all the time.
Even though my husband always had a very high drive, my pleasure was always His priority and I thanked Him for that by constantly pushing Him away and making Him feel like less of a person for the needs He had. I've just had to accept that some things you can't take back...you can only spend the rest of your life making up for it.
It's all kind of ironic now though. As His slave I am only entitled to whatever He chooses, whenever He chooses. So I have learned to appreciate each and every opportunity presented.
There's nothing like knowing that you can't just have something whenever you want it to make you want it that much more.
Thank you so much for your question!!
Thursday, September 11, 2014
My Introduction to Breath Play
He typically plays this little game, forcing me down on Him until my airway is blocked and then tells me when I can come up for a brief moment of air. Up until the other night, this had been my only touch of experience with breath play.
But the other night was different and oh...so yummy!!
I can't say that I got off on not being able to breath but I certainly responded well to the control Daddy was exerting over me.
It all started while I was lying on the bed, flat on my stomach. With my feet crossed and toes pointed, my arms down by my side and palms up, and my head turned to the side, He straddled my legs and pushed Himself inside me from behind, using the full weight of His body to render me immobile. Not that we practice gorean, but for those of you familiar with the gorean positions, the best way to describe this is a cross between "belly" and "bara", with my arms and hands in the "belly" position and my legs in the "bara" position.
This is absolutely one of my FAVORITE positions by the way...feeling the weight of His body on me, not being able to move...His mouth on the back of my neck...His hands grabbing my hair and pulling my head back...His voice right in my ear...
ahhh....oh my goodness...
oh wait...back to breath play!!
This time, though He pulled the pillow in front of my face and pushed my head down, telling me I wasn't allowed to breath until He gave me permission.
This was ok, but I failed to mention to Him that I could still kind of breath through the pillow. Nevertheless, I felt the moisture running down my legs and we both knew He was on to something. He did that a couple times, each time letting me up for a quick breath before ordering my face back down into the pillow.
Just when I thought it was over, He turned me over on my back. As He continued to move inside me, He told me we were going to try it again.
Keep your mouth closed tight.
Being face to face was quite different. I could see the intensity in His eyes as He reached up and pinched my nose closed. This time, I really couldn't breath AT ALL. And I started to panic after just a few seconds. My body began bucking, my arms started flailing around and I had to gulp in a breath. I'm pretty sure this wasn't one of my sexier moments:)
One more time and don't breath until I tell you to.
This time I didn't fight it. I started counting in my mind kind of like I do with spankings and stayed focused on relaxing my body. When He did see that I was starting to struggle, He counted down a few more seconds before letting me breath.
So, all in all, I guess the case could be made that I liked it. Of course, as usual, He claims that certain parts of me LOVED it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)