What's in Your Purse?

Had to go to court today with the oldest.  Nothing big...just a traffic ticket.

We walk into the lobby of the courthouse and I froze in place.

How could I not have thought about the scanners and metal detectors!!  Easy...it's not everyday that I go into a damn courthouse.

I'm standing just inside the doors looking like a deer in headlights, probably drawing more suspicion to myself.  Then I look down at my purse, trying to decide what to do. There isn't enough time to go back to my car. 

As if it's actually going to help, I zip up my purse before laying it down on the little belt.  then I watch as it disappears into the scanner.

Really...I could have just died of embarrassment. 

So what was hiding in my purse you ask?

Ummm, let's see. How about a vibrator, 2 clothespins, a black dog collar with some rhinestones, and a tube of capsaicin cream.  All the things that Heron requires me to keep on me at all times, you know if He ever wants to torture me out in public.  This would certainly classify as one of those moments now, wouldn't it?!

It wasn't even a little bullet vibrator.  Oh no!  It had to be the full size variety and I just knew that they were going to go through my purse right there in front of everyone to make sure that it wasn't some kind of bomb.   Thankfully they didn't.  But you also know what that means, don't ya? The guy looking at that screen knew exactly what he was looking at.

To top it off, the metal detector went off because of the boots I was wearing.  Yes, please bring more attention to me when what I really want to do is grab my purse and get the heck out of there!  Made me wonder if anyone ever gets stopped in one of those because they are wearing a metal butt plug. I'd hate to have to explain that one!