And The Torment Begins...

A few months back, Heron had instructed me to order a dildo of a particular variety.  I've mentioned this dildo in passing couple times, but out of embarrassment, I've avoided going into further detail. But I figure at this point, what the heck...it's just a dildo, right?

So here goes...

I was to buy one resembling...ahem...a dog cock.  Well, at the time, I was absolutely horrified but I finally got up the nerve and found one online called the Wolfman. It maybe wasn't exactly what He had in mind but it did fit His criteria. A suitable compromise in my mind I thought.

Over the past few months, this is pretty much the only one He has allowed me to use.  You know...to add to the whole humiliation factor. Somehow I think He was oddly, but pleasantly, surprised and fascinated by the fact that I didn't mind using it. 

What can I say?  It's huge!  And it didn't take long to realize that the shape didn't really matter but the size sure did! 
 
Well, today, I was to meet Heron at His office for lunch.  But I also was given special instructions to bring "wolfie" as He likes to call it.

Behind the locked door of His 10th floor office, we ate our lunch and then shortly thereafter He asked if I had brought what He told me to.  I retrieved it from my bag, and set it on His desk.  He pulled a ruler out of His drawer, measuring off two inches.  That is all I would be allowed to have.

After telling me to stand and get undressed, He walked around the desk and sat down in the chair where I had just been sitting. He's such a sight in His business attire. It never fails to make me a bit weak.

I was keenly aware of people in nearby offices but when He motioned to the floor, I knew this was the signal to lay down and get to business.

I worked the measly little 2 inches into my pussy wishing more than anything I could have more. But that would not be the case, and in the end, my efforts would be futile anyways. As discussed in my last post, there will be no pleasure for me..

He sat watching with the biggest grin on His face which was a bit unnerving.  I couldn't help but ask, "Why the big grin?Why are you enjoying this so much?"

I wanted to be mad at His reply but He looked too damn handsome. He reached down, taking the dildo from my hands and continued working it in and out, remaining mindful of the two inch limit He imposed.

I'm enjoying this...because you can't!  

Fleeting Thought

This past weekend, I was thankful to feel so deliciously sore and sated.  It had been a couple weeks since feeling Heron's touch or receiving any pleasure myself, other than orally servicing Him of course. So He made sure that I was quite indulged.  Two days in a row even!

But of course, there always that moment when I realize such luxuries come at a price and this time was no exception.  As I laid on the bed, still soaking up His full attention and affections, He explained my impending doom. 

A period of extended denial that would begin at the conclusion of the weekend. Now how long, I don't really know.  I assume weeks, maybe a month.   

I kick myself though because no matter how many times I've been here before, it remains difficult to still my thoughts to this situation. Rather than continuing to enjoy the moment, my mind had already jumped ahead to the "what's to come". But I suppose that's part of what He enjoys...feeling me mentally squirm, watching as the panic sets in while He describes all the ways He intends to torment me in the (un)coming weeks.

Surely, allowing me several orgasms over the weekend would at least help during the first few days of my going without but it is most certainly NOT.  It's not often that I get to enjoy the full pleasure of His body and mouth, and now it's all I can think about.  Then that little voice in my head reminds me that constant craving will not be quenched any time soon.  

My brain is already such a jumbled mess, and even though I'm supposed to be preparing for this week's "story time", I can't put anything reasonable together with the distraction of this throbbing between my legs. 

While pillaging the internet last night, hoping to find inspiration for my upcoming story, I even considered breaking the rules and touching myself.  The pictures really did me in. 

He wouldn't have to know...obviously a fleeing thought, but a thought nonetheless.

I know He's got me right where He wants me.  I'm just not exactly sure where that is and what He intends to do with me.

He Is My Constant

I hated that I haven't posted in a little while.  Guess with the holiday season quickly approaching, time is getting away from me and so are the number of shopping days for that matter. 

Admittedly, I have just felt a bit down in the dumps lately.  The Christmas spirit has been slow to make a move on me this year.  It's not that I am a bah-hum-bug or anything.  Really, I do love the holidays.  Spending time with the people that are important to me is what I love.

What I find frustrating is that the important things tend to get lost with the hustle to run from one gathering to another and frantically shop for presents.  Well, you all know the drill.

Every year, I tell myself I will start earlier next year but late fall is absolutely the busiest time of year at work so it just never seems to happen. 

The holidays are also just a sad reminder of a huge gap in my life and a reminder that my family is broken in so many ways.  Not mine and Heron's relationship and our kids, but the family I grew up with.  Gatherings are forced and awkward, never warm and loving, never full of laughs and great memories.

Something else that hasn't helped is that we are now in the fifth year of my mother living with us.    Apparently, this year she decided to start decorating MY house her way...which hasn't helped my frustration level one bit. I did say that I was extremely controlled as a child, right? And now that she's trying to do it in my own house...well, let's just say, I have honestly been about to blow a gasket. 

Heron is wonderful though.  He is the constant in my life.  And when all else is haywire, it's His love, support and guidance that keeps me sane.   

So finally, yesterday I forced myself to get my decorations out and take over what had already been started.  The house looks beautiful and I'm feeling more in the spirit. 

Now, if I could just get motivated to finish the shopping!!