Monday, September 29, 2014

Who Can You Talk To?

Thank you to one of my readers for sending me some questions to write about.  My motivation to write lately has been in the toilet as I have been spending an over abundance of time researching and implementing a paleo diet for the family.  Well, truthfully, it's mostly for Heron and I.  The kids get to still eat of some of the stuff they like.  But overall, it takes ALOT of work.  Maybe I will post more about it later.

Anyways, this reader was curious about our dynamic in the company of others.    

Well, the short version is that we are almost always in the company of others but mainly family, neighbors, or other parents at soccer events so our dynamic is pretty well discrete.  There may be certain things between us that only we know the meaning but mostly no one would catch on. It could be as simple as wearing my hair a particular way, waiting for him to begin eating first, or walking just slightly behind him.  Regardless of who is around, I always stop what I am doing and greet him.  When speaking to him, or about him, it's always respectful.  Yes, it's possible that someone could pick up on the hints of power exchange between us, but I'm not overly concerned about it because hopefully it just comes off as me being a loving and attentive wife.

Is there any element of D/s when you two go out with another couple?

We have never been much for going out with other couples.  Unfortunately, both of us kind of lost our youths early and because of that, didn't maintain many friendships into adulthood. There have been times through the years it has really bothered me...that we didn't have a group of friends to hang out with, go to dinners or get our families together for cookouts.

We did meet a couple through FL about a year ago and have gone out with them several times.  Even though they are fully aware of our dynamic and are very accepting, they are not in the dynamic themselves, so we have felt it best to keep it low-key in front of them so as to not place them in any uncomfortable situations, other than maybe Him ordering for me. 

Are any of his friends aware of the dynamic? Are any of yours?

I am going to assume that this question is referring to friends outside of the lifestyle. 

Heron does have one friend that knows and has shared quite a bit about our dynamic with him.  In fact, when I first started my blog, Heron gave him the address and he has been keeping up with it since!

I, on the other hand, really don't have any friends that I consider close enough to share this part of my life. I lost touch, way back when with all my friends from school and even though there have been several good friends since then, they have all come and gone out of my life for one reason or another.  As a manager, I am not afforded the ability to make friends and confide in anyone at work.  For the most part, my circle of girlfriends the past decade or so has been the moms of my daughters friends.  And I find I don't really have much in common with any of them. Plus it tends to get awkward the moment when your kids get into a fight or simply outgrow each other and no longer hang out. So, I tend to now steer away from hanging out with them. My dynamic isn't something I would have ever shared with them anyways because they seem to be a gossipy bunch and I certainly would never want my child judged for my activities.

If my little sister was still here, I suspect I might have shared it with her.  She lived her life pretty wide open and would never have judged me for anything.  Knowing her, she probably would have thought it was pretty cool.  I can't even begin to tell you how much I miss having her to talk to. 

Do you have an external confidant that you can bounce things off of?     

Luckily, I do have a couple of ladies that I have met through the lifestyle.  If I needed to talk about something, they would listen and give me honest feedback from their perspective.  Through my blog, I have also made some online acquaintances, both male and female, which have helped tremendously and they are always just an email away.   


  1. Great questions! I don't have anyone IRL that I would share our dynamic with. Well I have one friend (since hs) but she's not in the right stage of life to understand. ( her marriage is failing) we have just started to get involved in our local kink community so I'm hopeful that I will make friends with someone I feel comfortable sharing with. I'm thankful for the friends I have made through blogging, even if I never get to meet them, they have been a huge help.

    I'm really sorry to hear about your sister. I could only imagine how that feels.

    I'm curious though, how do you feel about having one of herons friends so in the know of such personal things? Kinda takes the anonymity away a little yes?


    1. Just remembering..... Is this the same man who (you suspected) made an appearance in a scene your Master set up at the hotel? Yes, I pay attention. Lol

    2. There is no getting anything past you!! Lol's the same man:) At the time, it was the only person he felt he could trust in that type of situation. Heron is a pretty private person and while I have ventured out to meet people in the lifestyle, he hasn't so much. As far as him being in the know, I haven't really minded because Heron really hasn't had anyone to talk to about it. As long as his friend isn't freaked out by it, I really don't worry about it. Glad to hear you two are getting involved in the community though!!