Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Flipped Your Crap Lately?

Nope...this is definitely not a post about scat play. This is a just a pretty humorous account of a day in the life of our crazy home and my attempt to stay calm under all circumstances. "Flipping your crap" was a cute little phrase my teenager used one day and it just kinda stuck.  So whenever anyone in our family gets mad or upset, we giggle and ask if they "flipped their crap". 

Now, we all have THOSE days, right?  The ones where everything seems to spinning out of control in a world of chaos, everyone is pulling at you from different directions, and you just want to hide from it all.

Yesterday was definitely one of those days, and had I been the old me, I would have definitely "flipped my crap" and regretted it.  That is, my ass would have regretted it. 

Maybe I am a little hormonal this week but it really seemed the stress of work, kids, dogs, and everything else was making me a bit crazy.  OK..more like ALOT crazy. 

My younger daughter was in the most horrible mood, pissed at the world for pretty much everything and most of all for having to do homework.  As she huffed, puffed, and pushed her papers around all over the kitchen, I calmly kept cleaning the dinner dishes staring out the window wishing to God for a moment's peace and quiet. 

If I said anything, it was probably going to spew like poison coming from a witch's tongue so I thought it best to keep my mouth shut and keep scrubbing that same damn pot!

My thoughts were soon distracted by my daughter who had now decided to calm herself down..."MOM! Can you help me?" whinny voice

Me:  "Sure, what do you need help with?" so calm I wondered if it was in fact me speaking

Dogs: Scratching at the door to go outside.

Me:  Sure dogs, I will take your f'ing assess out!

Older daughter: "MOM! Will you listen to my presentation?"

Me: "Sure, after I finish helping your sister."  still calm but choking on my words

Dog: Chewing on the dining room table leg

Me:  Walking over to make her stop.  WTF is going on here today!

Younger daughter: "Mom, will you fix me a snack?"

Me: "Sure, is there anything else you need?" Yep...my sanity just left the building!  But it keeps on...

Older daughter: "MOM!  Listen to this other paragraph I just wrote."

Me: I just love when the two girls are playing a game of tag team with my attention!! 

Dog: Now gnawing on the base board.

Me:  Hiding in the bathroom to take a one minute pee.  Whatever you do...stay calm...STAY CALM and DON'T FLIP YOUR CRAP!

Younger daughter: Bursts in the door. "Look at this video on YouTube"

Me: Still sitting on the toilet, "Holy Cow...can I NOT even take a pee!"

Dog: Under the table ripping up papers from my daughter's book bag.

Phone rings: In-laws are dropping by!! Geez...is this night ever going to end???!!!

Knock at the door:  Dogs going crazy, barking, and trying to run out the front door.  Mother-in-law tries to catch the puppy, falls and tears up her knees, hands, and face in our front bushes!! 

MeCan I just start crying now??

Finally, after the evening calms down and we are getting ready to go to bed... 

Master: "Are you OK?"

Me: "I'm fine"  Yeah, believe that!

Me:  Finally thinking of something respectful to say..."Maybe I should have just come and asked you for help."

Master: "Yes, maybe you should have.  I wasn't doing anything...just laying in bed."

Me: Me and my ass know better than to say anything!

So, what has made you lose your cool recently or how have you successfully managed to not to lose your cool?  I would love to hear your story!


  1. I most definitely would not have kept my cool! Good for you for keeping it together and your mouth shut, especially there at the end!

    1. Yes...I could have said so many things!

  2. I have moments of fielding two different conversations with the kids at the same time, while trying to do something else and then the phone rings and it's cold caller trying to sell stuff. Argh!
    Well done for staying calm, to the end!

    1. Thanks. I know our oldest who has already moved away from home is very jealous that his sisters get to experience the calmer me.

  3. Love this! I with you and DF. I flip my crap when I'm in full on mom mode and being pulled in a million directions at once. Its tough sometimes.