Saturday, September 14, 2013

Hidden Desires

This is going to be by far the hardest post I have written but Master said I have been putting it off for long enough and tasked me to complete it this weekend.  It's so much easier for me to talk about what happens day to day, how He uses me, and how it makes me feel.  But discussing my inner most desires...that's uncomfortable.  Then again, pushing boundaries and taking us out of our comfort zone is part of being a sub/slave, right?

So, here goes...

Honestly, I am little embarrassed because I feel like I may be one of the only people in this kinky world that somehow missed out on this experience.  I have eluded to it very superficially in some of my other posts but being with a woman has been a part of almost all of my fantasies for as long as I can remember.   

I'm a bit of a guy when it comes to pornos.  Please, no need for the cock and pussy scenes...just fast forward to the all girls stuff.   Thinking about it and seeing it makes me cum almost instantly.

But DAMMIT...now these thoughts are invading my dreams and it's always so HOT! 

The feel of soft sweet smelling skin on mine...

The gentle, at times maybe not so gentle, exploration of our bodies...

Tasting every part of her...

Feeling the flick of her tongue on me...

Oh, these thoughts drive me wild and are always at the forefront of my mind while pleasing myself. 

Maybe, one day the opportunity will present itself.  However, casual sex is definitely not my thing.  If the situation develops organically, so be it.  But at 40, is it reasonable to think this will just happen? 

Admittedly, self doubt and fear play an important role here as well.

I am not a forward person at all.  For some reason, I have always found more comfort in convincing myself that people, male or female, could not and would not be interested in me whether it be with respect to friendships or relationships. The only explanation I can come up with for this behavior is merely to protect myself from being hurt. 

Also, I have spent so many years with just one man.  There's such comfort in knowing that without a doubt, I have learned exactly what pleases Him. What if I completely suck at pleasing a woman?   I have read before, a woman knows a woman's body...just do what you would want done.  Is it really that easy?  I tend to believe it's not. 

But my biggest fears of all...what if it isn't everything that my mind has made it out to be all these years? 

OR WHAT IF IT'S BETTER?!







 












14 comments:

  1. little..I have never been with a woman. So you are not the only in the kinky world that has not experienced. I do enjoy watching girl on girl porn though, like you.

    i, on the other hand, am curious but no desire. He wishes I did. lol
    This is a limit he is hoping to explore one day.

    I fully believe all our fantasies should come true. I hope this one does for you.

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    1. Glad to I know I am not the only one and what guy doesn't hope that we will explore that limit:)

      i am sure i will be alright whether it happens or not. But you know we only live life once. Why not make all your fantasies happen!

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  2. My Dom and I have fantasized about it, and a few months ago our fantasy became a reality. The touch of another woman while my husband watched was amazing. Will this happen frequently, maybe/maybe not. I am happy that we had the chance to experience it together (I hope that it will for you...it was yummy)

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    1. Thank you for sharing your positive experience. I am glad that it worked out for you both. My husband hasn't expressed an interest in watching at least the first time. Thank you so much for reading and welcome to my blog!

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  3. Never been with a woman, have had many opportunities but was never interested... that said, any time I watch porn it is almost exclusively lesbian. I think this is because it's the only kind that looks genuine, but I love it!

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    1. Hello and thank you for your comment! Funny how some of us want to but never had the opportunity then others are in the completely opposite situation:) I think you are right though about it looking more genuine.

      Welcome to my blog!

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  4. Mr. S and I were talking yesterday about porn! and how I would much rather see women then men, he seemed surprised but women have much prettier bodies. I mean come on, would you rather look at a ball sack or breasts?

    As far as being with a women, I'm with you, the images in my head are nice but...

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    1. Misty, your ball sack comment just made me bust out laughing when I read it! True...so true...lol

      A penis is quite fun but not as attractive!

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    2. :) yes a penis is very fun!

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  5. I have been with a woman before and I can tell you its better than the fantasy. Kissing a woman is very different than kissing a man. Of course I could never go full on lez (I need that cock) but it is fun to play.

    xo

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    1. Thank you for sharing! I agree...I love cock way too much to ever give it up:)

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  6. This seems to be rather common fantasy. Women are capable to appreciate female body and go even a step further. The descriptions which I heard before were pretty much similar to yours. The appreciation and passion has remarkable similarity. Thank you.

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    1. So glad to see you still around! I have been missing your comments here and updates on your blog.

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    2. Thank you. Work at work, work at home, kids at work, kids at home, no time for nothing... I will be around soon. Thank you for posting these lovely texts.

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