When I first decided to surrender to my husband, I could have sworn that I possessed a more dominant personality and was merely working to make myself be submissive.
Voila! Then the light bulb went off. Well, it really wasn't that easy but I now realize and accept that I was submissive all along. It just took letting go of some very controlling behaviors to recognize my true nature.
Let's talk about how this relates to my work. I spent 15 years trying to climb the ladder, driven to achieve promotion after promotion, ultimately vying for the management position in my office. I wanted the responsibility, to be in charge, make all the decisions, and do things MY way.
Three years ago, my dream came true. Except...it's not so much a dream anymore.
It took a while for me to get to this point but in my home life, I find that I am much happier not being in control and not having to make all the decisions. That realization has brought about a lot of reflection in how I feel about being a manager. I can be assertive and make decisions in any aspect of my life that I need to. The problem is...now I just don't want to.
If I had to guess, my manager is a dominant, which is probably why we work together so well. I yield to his authority with no problem. Not saying that I won't disagree with him when necessary, but ultimately, he is in charge and I am ok with that.
As for the people that work for me, I deal with a great group of professional people that do their job and do it very well. They make me look good, so in turn, I support them and make them look good.
But there are always one or two that just test your patience. This person continually tries to buck authority and feels their way is always right. I admit, I hate conflict and I am not a quick thinker when put on the spot. This makes for some challenging situations.
I find myself saying more and more....I wish I could just go back to being responsible for my little corner of the universe.
Do you find that submission has changed how you feel in other aspects of your life?
My opinion is that submission does change a person in some aspects of her/his life. The questions you are asking remind me of those my wife used to ask. And she repeated many times that she does not want to be responsible. She never liked her mid-level management position, even though she fought a lot to get it back then.
ReplyDeleteThe clear and unique answer does not exist. But, rest assured that you are not alone in this kind of thinking.
I am glad to know that! Thank you for sharing your wife's experience. Mid level management is difficult for exactly the reasons that DF mentioned in her comment.
DeleteIf my friends and family were told to use 5 words to describe me, im confident in saying that any submissive characteristic words would not be among them, but yet im submissive.
ReplyDeleteI work in a school in a responsible position, i love it, i have children of my own..im responsible for them.
Has submission changed how i feel about other aspects in my life? im really not sure i can give a yes or a no answer, because its who i am, im a happier more content person because im in a relationship where my submission thrives rather than trying to fight against it.
gosh you got me pondering on this lol
x
I know that my family would never use submissive words to describe me either ..lol! I definitely have no problem in being responsible for my kids and while I may be submissive, I am still responsible for keeping the home running smoothly.
DeleteI used to thrive on the chaos and fight. I just don't have that need anymore. It's got me pondering a lot too:)
I can look back now and realise why it is I didn't want to climb the managerial ladder in my previous jobs. I was shoved up them unwillingly and I hated being in control. I had opinions and I would respect my bosses if they listened to them (not necessary agree but at least take the time), however being sandwiched between those under me and those above, I couldn't please everyone all the time. Now I understand I am happy to yield and facilitate those about me.
ReplyDeleteI am not glad that you had these experiences but I am glad to know I am not alone in this discovery.
DeleteYou stated it perfectly. I hate being sandwiched between upper management and those that work for me. And honestly I find myself in situations where I cannot make others happy. I am a people pleaser...plain and simple so I have to fight that tendency very hard when dealing with people in all aspects of my life.
If anything it makes me feel sexy... does that make sense? In the back of my mind I enjoy playing in my head what my home life is like. Not being in control and there to serve.
ReplyDeleteI do know exactly what you mean. It is sexy and exciting knowing you have this dirty little secret:)
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