I hate to admit this but yesterday was one of those days. We've had more intense play than usual, so I assume maybe it was a bit of drop, possibly mixed with something Heron said the night before that left me a little unsettled. After crying all the way to work, I drifted through the better portion of my day trying to process what was going on, but ended up more and more off track.
The last time I felt like this, He was understanding but also quick to remind me "remember, this isn't about you at all."
As harsh as this sounded at the time, it was true. I gave myself to Him completely, and with that, I also had to give up certain ways of thinking. But from time to time, it just doesn't seem that simple.
His words echoed in my head all day long but failed to bring any comfort and did nothing to cease the insanity building in my mind.
After getting home from work, I set to cooking dinner. I like to set up my laptop by the stove so I can easily view my recipes and catch up on blogs if I get a chance. Now, I've been following a blog recently, Serving As Nature Intended. A reader here on my blog actually turned me to slave kate's blog when I began talking about the wooden horse. Even though, our situations are very different, I have to say, Her words inspire and humble me. She carries herself with such an eloquence but is also extremely open and honest. And if I could only live up to be a tenth of the slave that she is...well, I would be pretty blessed.
I don't know why, but I decided to explore her web page a little further than usual and clicked the link to her book. Reading through the bit that is available on Amazon, I came to a word that stopped me in my tracks.
Such a key principle, and I had lost sight of it. Almost immediately, a peace of mind washed over me. It's amazing what just the right words will do, at just the right time! So, thank you slave kate.
These are just a few things I found to be grateful for...
...the beautiful sunrise on my way to work, because it means I am alive.
...my health, because it means that I can serve to the best of my ability
...the ability to submit my body for His use, even if that means enduring pain for His pleasure.
...any pleasure He allows me, or denies me (still working on the being grateful for denial part)
...His praise, compassion, leadership, discipline, and guidance.
...knowing that in every breath I take, I have His unwavering and unconditional love.
...and I'm even grateful for the wooden horse (eh...that part may be pushing it!)